| Didn't know where else to put this because I've already made an intro..
I guess I'll just start out with some backgorund:
I haven't talked to my childhood best friend for maybe 3 years. I'm in college now and that's about when my freshman year started. I've known her ever since elementary, and we've kind of had little crushes, sort of, on each other. We liked the same stuff, and we'd even go dressing up at conventions and stuff. About when I got to high school, I started to see her less and less, but still kept in contact every few months. It became years when I got to college. The summer I graduated, she was at my graduation party and she finally confessed that she liked me. I told her that I liked her too, but we both knew that a LTR wouldn't work between us.
I've been going out with my girlfriend for about 2.5 years.
So basically, I had my first girlfriend when I got to college. We've been in a pretty
good relationship the past few years. Weird thing is, she said that it's ok for me to like and have other girls (even sexually!!). Some may say that she only said that because she has low self esteem. She also said that if we ever broke up, she would wait for me.
I recently saw my childhood best friend when I went back home and just bumped into her and her family at an event. I still kinda like her (she seriously would have been my first girlfriend) but it might be that i'm just super sexually attracted to her at the moment (my girlfriend is home for the summer, she doesn't drive, so the only way I can see her is if i drive to see her about 1.5 hours away, and even then we never get alone time together). We hung out the entire event, but there was this one sentence that pinged in my head for some reason, "are you still going out with your girlfriend?"
I saw her the next day after she got off of work and I ended up taking her to a restaurant, my treat so we could catch up. We ended up talking for about 2 hours before I had to leave. We caught up with the usual how are yous, so what's been going on since I last saw you three years ago. There came a point in the conversation where I asked her if she did anything with her boyfriends. Turns out she did A LOT of things while I was away. She told me that she got addicted to sex at one point (but she's not so much anymore) and she told me she actually liked giving bj's. I was totally stunned, and I didn't want her to know that I was actually getting aroused. A lot of our conversation was sexual from that point on. She also said that she's not a slut, she doesn't do it with any random guy, and she actually tries to shy away from guys in relationships. During our conversation, I would catch certain sentences asking about me and my girlfriend, the last one she said in the car was, "Does your girlfriend know about me?" I said yes. My girlfriend and I told each other our past relationships, flings, and crushes.
Some of you are gonna say to just make her into an FB.
Some of you are gonna say to just stay friends with her.
Some of you are gonna say to back off and stay with my girlfriend.
Some of you are gonna say other stuff...
Some of you are going to have a moral sense and tell me what's good and bad.
All I know is that what I would want is to have a very nice FB relationship with my childhood friend, while still keeping my girlfriend. Don't judge me, because I already judge my actions all the time. This is what I know I want, but I know it isn't what is needed.
Like I said, I didn't know where else to put this..
So that's my story.
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CHAT
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