You have been seeing someone for 14-21 days and they randomly send you a text saying they don't feel the way they should at this point in a realtionship? This has happen to you more then once in your life?

This is clearly a test/challenge. She is seeing how you react to losing her,to see if you care. If she didn't like you 1: she would have just stop talking to you and not respond to any text. 2: she gave you a reason to respond with an open ended question, I hope your not mad at me. This is a bs tactic women use to reject men, but still be wanted by that man.

Wtf would any man ask a women what they did wrong? The women doesn't know what you did wrong,they only know how they fell. Men are controlled by logic, women are controlled by emotion. Men need to understand why they feel a certain way, women do not want to understand why they feel a certain way they just want to feel and not understand. Ever hear a women say I shouldn't feel this way but I do? It's because they don't understand their feelings but they like how they feel.

Don't respond "no worries" or that's cool. Your implying that your upset but trying not to act like you are. The correct response is " I know what you mean, I feel the same way, I just didn't want to be the asshole to say it"

By doing this you have done 3 important things.
1) you implied that you understand her feelings
2)you implied that's she's a mean person for saying that to you and she now feels guilty
3)by saying you feel the same way, you imply that she did something wrong with you and it's her fault that she wasn't into you.

She will not expect this reply, she expects you to be upset because she's so great. Now when she texts back, don't respond,for at least a day. Her response will be something generic I.E I'm glad you feel the same way and/or I'm glad we can be friends. Your response is a one word response I.E cool or okay, she will try to get you to converse, do not reply, for at least one week and do not reply directly to anything she says. You want to flip the tables and take it from her rejecting you into you rejecting her. This will mind-fuck her. Once a week has past on a Friday or Saturday night invite her out with a group of friends. When she comes out with you,ignore her all night till the end,give her 20 or 30 minutes of attention. Word of warning she will try to make you jealous do not become jealous at all cost. Once you have done these things it's an easy transition into booty call status.

You had me up until the bolded point. 'Freezing her out' for a week is incongruent with reframing the situation as him rejecting her. In fact, it will come off as pouting behaviour ("you did something I don't like therefore I'll ignore you/not msg you"). If he truly was unphazed by the "lets be friends" inference he'd continue talking to her as normal rather than going quiet. Also, she already has low investment in him, breaking rapport with her at this crucial time will likely be counterproductive to creating more attraction.

@ Jericho brown.. It was not totally random because we had plans to do something later but she even started the text with "this may be out of left field" we talked a couple of times this week and everything seemed normal. We were not talking as much as we were last week which striked me weird because we went out a couple of times also last week and had an awesome time. It seemed like a complete turnaround but I did not really think anything of it at the time I honestly thought maybe she did not want to talk everyday like we were cause were still just dating so I played it cool and only talked to her couple of times this week cause i went overboard before with talking and i was not making the same mistake again. Then I get this text so i was kind of left confused. I just said no worries because this was before I got your thread I probably should have said what you said but I now know if that ever comes up again. I liked the girl which sucked but regardless I am learning. thank you all for the comments I appreciate it!!

That wasn't meant to be bold. sorry about that. A full 7 days may be to long but 4 to 5 days is adequate. Rapport has been lost and the connection has been broken. Your agreeing with her that you do not have feelings for her and saying you didn't want to be the bad guy. By ignoring her for a few days, it gives her time to reflect on her choices. It gives her time to thnk about him, the times she had with him and most importantly why did he not LIKE her, why did he feel that way. It also gives her time to wonder if he is with another girl. "does someone else have his attention" this will drive her crazy. If you instantly agree and keep talking your doing 2 bad things.
1) your entering the friends zone- we don't want that
2) by talking to her you do not give her a chance to wonder what the F just happen.

We want to seem in high demand. We want to give her time to think and reflect. If we continue talking nothing changes. It's gives the impression he likes me sooooo much that even after I break up with him he still wants to talk to me. Your not pouting if you flip the table, you agree there is nothing between you two the only reason to keep talking is to be friends. Now you would be pouting saying "that's fucked up" or acting like an ass and then stop talking. By not talking for a few days after flipping the tables it gives the impression you could give two shits. This creates a desire and a mystery to her. You want things to be sexually comfortable with her, you want her to call you when she's horny for casual sex. Only actions change women feelings, never ever try to talk to a girl about feelings and you will only make things awkward if you try to convince her that she does like you by talking her into it.

That's a large presupposition you're making, that she's invested in him. Women get validation from all sorts of places, including having not just one, but many men on the lamb to which they can get their validation fix from. You don't freeze out somebody who has low investment in you because you're easily replaceable. It'd be one thing if she was interested in being with him and she did something that displeased him, but another altogether going all aloof and/or elusive on a girl who believes you have low value. This is why I bolded the statement you made, and why I think it'd be in error to freeze her out. She's already indicated that she doesn't see him as a potential suitor, at least right now, it is naive to think that by him not talking to her for a bit would somehow make her re-think her position.

The only thing I would suggest as an alternative is to next her (disappear for a while, off the radar) and re-approach her at some later point in time such as months or even a year as 're-invented'.

There's another glaring issue I see with your approach. Unless this chick is seriously jaded, she's well aware that this guy likes her based on his previous behavior. For him to all of a sudden 'flip the script' by acting in a different way will likely come off as a playing games and only make her feel more justified in her decision to not see him as a romantic interest.

you remember being a kid and having tons of toys. You get the new toy and you stop playing with your old toys until that old toy is taken from you and then you want it back? Same idea behind my approach turn low investment into high investment. If you continue acting the same, expecting different results,that is the deffintion of insanity. What do you gain by continuing to act the same? By not talking to her for a few days it breaks the routine. Anytime a routine is broken you think about that routine i.e i didnt take a crap today. what has changed. In this case he agreed with me and stop talking to me, it gives her time to think. It gives her time to miss him.

I am well familiar with "cat-string theory" or being elusive, but I am not convinced the value is there to begin with for her to even be bothered to become ensnared in this game of sorts. It's not that I disagree that time apart may be of benefit, I had in fact suggested falling off the radar for an extended period of at least a few months, or earlier if she's trying to reach out to him. But in this situation the timing is off simply because she'd essentially told him that she's interested only in pursuing a platonic relationship. I think he'd need to remove himself entirely from the picture, and come back anew (from a sexual frame) rather than go quiet on her. We don't know that she needs "time to think", she may be quite definitive in her decision - this is the issue, we don't know what's going on in her brain and no pickup technique will grant you this insight, no matter how badly you may want to think it can.


Now you make a great point by saying his behavior clearly shows signs that he likes her. However it takes two to tango and she was receptive to his advancements. Which gave him every indication that she likes him. He even admits that she said I know this is out of left field, the same can apply to him as well, why is okay for her to be that way but not okay for him?. This is also IMO the best way to handle this scenario. I would like to hear,how you would handle this situation. What would your game plan be?

Here's the kicker. Whenever I see similar things happening with my female friends (they share the intimate details with me), they invariably do not want to hurt the guy (some naively think there's a friendship there, not realizing that the guy is interested in nothing less than a romantic and/or sexual relationship). Girls can be VERY attracted to a guy in the beginning, only to lose that attraction in dramatic fashion once they find he's predictable (and boring). I've never seen an instance where the guy got her attraction back, HOWEVER I do have one female friend who just recently gave the guy another chance (a 3rd date) hoping he'd buck-up and be interesting all of a sudden (at least she had gotten a free dinner out of it) hoping there was some other side to him that perhaps he didn't reveal on the first 2 dates due to anxiety.

And yes, it is certainly possible to get out of the friendzone, contrary to what many so-called PUAs state. However, it behooves you to always ask yourself "is it worth the time investment, or would I be better served finding someone new?" I may be mistaken, but I believe this girl has made her decision and while she may miss what he offers as a potential friend, in all likelihood she will easily be distracted by the next shiny thing that comes along. [/b]