Hi all, this is officially my second post on this forum after my introduction in the introduction section You can read about me there as to save me time on this post

I've always held crushes from the age of 12 on-wards. Thinking that one girl owns my heart and I wanna be her prince charming, that she deserves the world and to be treated like a queen *facepalms* Like I said in my introductory thread, I don't engage much in the social scene, I just hold crushes and semi obsessive views on some girls. I've had the same feelings for about 5 or so girls over the course of said 8/9 years. Currently at age 21, I met a girl online and we got talking. She said she liked me. I like her too. We agreed to meet up and date and try give it a go. Thing is, I asked her out months after, and she gave me a really really lame excuse, and I now know she was kindly saying no.

Like I said in my opening thread, I do really like her, a lot actually, and what really gave me high hopes was her telling me she liked me, which blew me off my feet, as this was a first for me. I am now regretful of my actions over the last few months ; I treated her way too nice..I didn't show my cocky, teasing and confident side. We flirted loads...got her to dirty talk some, and was cocky and teasing at times.. coincidentally the best convos and reactions came when I was acting this way.

Don't ask me why, because, I pedestalized her, I said, she's the one, she's the most beautiful girl ever, and I continued to shower her with praise. You should hear the shit I've done for her, bought her phone credit once or twice, I wrote her a poem. I've only realized, even though she says "you're so lovely and I love you", "you're so sweet and you make me feel great"....she's fed up. I'm a tool. Literally. She knows, I've got this guy to run and cry to, who will always shower me with praise, who will always love me like a queen.

Last week or more, our convos have been total shit, she doesn't reply hardly ever, loses interest quick! So, I stopped talking just so prevent any further damage. She's the kinda girl who loves to be complimented...I know deep down she loves it....she says she is really shy..and she 's only opened up her feelings for me once, because she says she's just too scared to talk about her feelings. We chat on BBM, which, is on phone, to anyone not familiar, is always signed in. Now, BBM has a message notifier thing which you can see when the person you're talking to has read your messages,. She doesn't read mine for hours and sometimes wont even reply.

So I came to the conclusion, this girl is bored, I'm not stimulating her enough...but I know..deep down..I'm the best fucking guy she"ll ever meet or talk to...that's how cocky I am. She's stated I'm attractive, hot, and that she would like sex...so I know the attraction is there. To save my sanity, I haven't talked to her in a day or more..with no word from her.

What I want to ask is, what do? What's in my gut is, leave it for a while, play hard to get, when she talks, read her messages don't reply etc, update my BBM status to out, with other people, make her a bit jealous..talk selectively. But..I think what's best is to chalk this one up to a loss and move on...stop obsessing over one girl. The problem is I've already told her how I feel and showered her and came across as maybe needy and pushovery...is there ANY WAY, I can break down this image of me, and create a new one that I wanted to create from the start?! One that says yes I still am nice...but you only deserve it from me at the best of time, be cocky and blunt and neg/tease her. I've been too respectful of her to do these things, a huge mistake.

Any advice is greatly appreciated!!

It seems like you fully understand where you went wrong and how to solve the problem. You don't really have to go out of your way to prove to her that you're out and about. Just don't initiate any contact. If she gets in touch with you, feel free to respond but don't shower her with long essays, and above all else, cut out the high praising. In a couple weeks she'll start to wonder what the hell happened since the water went from scalding hot to ice cold. It'll disrupt her view of you and that might be enough to rekindle her interest in you.

However, in the event that doesn't work, it's best for you to also mentally prepare yourself to move on. Remember, she's not the only one out there.

Thanks man! Today..I didn't talk..she tried to talk but I read her message and ignored it..I updated my status as out with my best friend (who is a female, which I was out with), and she got jealous, she deleted me!!! hahaha! And then emailed me straight after and was like "my phone somehow reset and I lost all of my contacts" Yeah right!

Seems to be working...I've been negging her and acting more confident and stuff and she seems more interested Any other tips or heads ups you could give me in advance?! I'd love to know any advice you have to offer a newbie who wants to get the girl

Not being rude...but d you have your own life?

You mentioned that you wrote her a poem. If you like writing poems bro do it for a hobby and don't mention it to girls unless they bring up something related. I recently learnt that you need things to be mysterious about you for girls to keep being interested.

For example:

You game a girl, talk to her and shit. Get her to come round yours one day. She thinks she knows you quite well. Whats that on your wall? oh their my poems, just ignore (she won't) and if their good it will just keep in you some mysterious light.

Then neg/praise i.e. "Well Il write one about you one day...when I find something to right about"

Also start going out and such, don't base your whole life praising girls and shit. They love the attention but why fuck, no reason to. Go out with your boys, hang out with girls that are just friends. Then you get the girls ur gaming asking themselves "What makes her better then me blahblahblah"

Your evaluation of the situation as it sits is likely accurate. You're 'safe' for her, you've established a great deal of comfort while neglecting to approach her from a more sexualized frame. That's not to say it's impossible to win her over, it'll just require some effort and mindful thinking.

You're predictable to her, and unfortunately predictability destroys seduction. As Robert E. Green stated in "The Art of Seduction", "Mystery is the life-blood of seduction". You're busy, you've got other things going on for you (if you don't, you should regardless of whom you're trying to attract). This will require some self-restraint as by engaging her continually you're only re-affirming the notion in her mind that she's the prize, and she's able to get validation from you without offering you anymore (why should she either, you've given her nothing to work with).

Don't be so eager to validate her, don't be the 'good guy' or therapist, that's something she can get from her other friends. No, you're the guy who keeps her on the edge of her seat, always guessing what's next (much like an anti-climatic movie to which you can't hardly wait to find out what happens next). You're going to have to move into this role slowly, otherwise your actions may be met with considerable resistant and/or skepticism from her end making you seem unstable, aloof, and worse yet strange (in a bad way).

If the two of you communicate often through texting, you can start planting the seed that somethings a bit different. Don't be your predictable self, instead be a bit more challenging, be a bit charming, appeal to her sense of vanity during some moments, while at other times offer contrasts. Don't a bit short at times, at other times don't immediately respond to every one of her texts - this is all going to take careful consideration. However, so long as you always come from the frame of abundance (women being abundant, that is), and not one of scarcity things will begin to flow a bit more organically. Don't drop her a line 'just because', rather msg her when you've got something humorous or witty to share...give her reasons to find you interesting and to want more.

I get you guys...but I kinda don't! For example......last night after ignoring her for a whole day, she pulled an all nighter with me. I must also note I acted differently and like I usually would, not much praising, I was very cocky and confident and playful, and flirty. usually she'd go asleep but I guess she was just loving my company. Important to note is that I also got her very flirty and kinky side out, we exchanged some pictures and had a small session of well, dirty talk! I negged her a few times, first time ever, well, I think they were negs and I think they worked. Here's what i said

"So let me ask, you're the eldest, are you like bossy?"
"Haha yeah I guess kinda :L"
"Yeah I figured, you look like the bossy type. I think if you wore glasses and a grey wig you'd pull of the bossy schoolteacher look very well :L"
Took her a bit longer to respond and she seemed taken aback, and replied with a simple "haha :p"

She sent me a photo of her later in the convo randomly, as if to expect some magical compliment, which is what I would do usually. So I said "hmm I've seen you wear that outfit before" she was shocked at this as it took her a good 4 or 5 mins to come back with "so? Problem?" to which I replied "no no, just remarking is all. it's nice." As with before I just got the haha response

Finally, she wrote me a big paragraph, and her spelling and grammar were way out. Usually I'd nt say anything, but I said "actually I take back what I said about the whole bossy schoolteacher thing, your spelling and grammar are crazy, I think you need to be taught a thing or two! I do love how you make the same spelling mistakes repetitiously though, it's quirky and cute I guess" This one got her! She was like "I was typing fast and I'm tired, shutup -_-" I was like "right :L" she just said "stfu" and I thought she was angry... So I didn't respond for a sec, until she put "xD :L" immediately afterwards .

Finally, we were playfully discussing stuff like current affairs etc, so I said "go ahead and gimme your opinion on the end of the world" to which she sent a big message giving me her two cents. So I said "interesting...that's pretty cool that you could type that. Didn't know you were so...umm..knowledgable" this was kinda cool cause it could be taken as sarcasm or just plain assholeness. So she just said ":O shutup! I do know somethings you know! -_-"

I think these comments kinda got her. But Im not too sure on what they actually do or what kinda effect jt has on her or what difference I need to look out for in her person.

I also would like some tips. Last night sets me up for a good position I think. We talked all night, and now I want to test her. i want to do what the poster above me has stated. Usually I would pop up and we'd talk, but the Convo would never be as good! lo and behold I woke up this morning to a message from her. An initiating a Convo from her is very rare. I replied, she replied, and ive left it there. Mid Convo I've stopped, and I don't plan on talkig till later, Or seeing what her reaction is. I want her to think "last night was good, why is he ignoring me". But like the above poster said, I'd also like to convey the nysteriousnrss and the edge of seat dynamic, but, how? In this situation? Should I randomly send a funny picture out of nowhere, after ignoring her, and she'll be like huh? What I want to know is, what do you think is best, I have a stranglehold on this girl I think as last night was a super success.

You seem to be improving but just a little tip for negging via text:

You seem to fill the text with a neg, don't be scared to escalate some sexiness in there.

For example you put "you could put a grey wig blahblahblah and be a proper school teacher."

When you could have put "you could be a boring teacher with that attitude. Altho pop on a nice skirt and a tight top and I'd pay attention in class" < that's not insanely good but I'm tired and in a bad mood.

Also don't ever apologise for anything you say. You want her to think your not trying to impress her, you found it funny. That's what mattered or do apologise but neg her for finding it unfunny.

Random texts work for mid game and you can escalate with them. E.g:

You: Pizza or pasta?

Her: reply

You: strawberries or chocolate?

Her: reply

You: bath or shower?

Her: reply

You: well that's the plan sorted for next time

Someone posted here something that I follow. Every word in a text matters. Keep them short but full of fun. Don't have them long making sure that she's happy with the text or needy shit like that