Hello guys,

started talking to this girl on POF whose a dance teacher and she mentioned she needs a video of her class filming for the internet (we are both part of the same dance club, but have never met). i got her number and she added me on FB. i am also a dancer and she saw me for the first time in a streetdancing show she attended last week (i was on stage). we do have lots in common (eg photography) and we always get on very well on the telephone. now it does not cost me anything to film and edit the video, however i am just wondering if i am being exploited? shes very attractive (i would rate a definate 9 or a 10) and shes always on POF i imagine talking to other guys. i just have the horrible expectation that when complete her dance video i will never see or hear from her ever again.

am i right in thinking this? shes now emailing me footage shes taken on her mobile to edit. her POF profile mentions shes after one great guy and after watching one of my films on FB she mentioned i have amazing eyes. but i just wonder if shes saying these things just to manipulate me into doing things for her. i have not given her any compliments and when i met her to film her class, only two students turned up (she expected eight) and kept moaning the dance routine was not going right. she mentioned shes going through a very busy stressful time.

should i just ask her out on a date and see what happens?

If all you ever talk about is getting this video together, I don't think you could fault her for disappearing once it's done. In her mind, she may be thinking of this as a creative endeavour/limited friendship/networking opportunity. If you want something else out of it, speak up. Otherwise, she owes you nothing but a thank you and a handshake at the end of it.

well after her class i asked her if she wanted to come for a drink but she went no im going home (her class did not go very well). the next day she rang me up about the video and i asked her if she was having a bad day yesterday which she agreed yes. so i mentioned i went salsa dancing and she replied wow salsa!! next time i will go with you. so hopefully that will happen next week (she says she has more time in august. unless shes bluffing).

ok. just thought i would post an update.

i have filmed and edited two dance videos for her and we went for a drink afterwards. she paid for both drinks, we chatted for an hour and cuddled me before we left. the dance videos are getting a great response on the internet and shes now sending me texts ending with xxx. she says we are definately going to salsa dancing next week and i have not spent any money on her, given any compliments, just my time editing and filming which costs nothing. i am filming again next week.

however this weekend she mentioned shes meeting this other guy from POF whose paying for everything including their weekend at the hilton hotel and shes looking forward to a weekend of pampering and relaxation. hes asked if shes talking to any other guys on POF and she mentioned replying to me only because i talked about dancing and described me as a genuine guy. this other guy actually lives in another city about 100 miles away.

when she mentioned this i actually encouraged her to go out with him.

do i have anything to worry about?

You could I suppose. This guy himself could be a PUA or a natural in which case you might have your work cut out for ya. Also considering she told you this you could be in the friend zone. This could also all be a test and you might've failed by encouraging it

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Always looking to learn from more experienced PUAs

It still doesnt sound like you've stated your true intentions yet..I dont think her telling you about the other guy is a shit test I honestly think she was just confiding in you because you've been friend zoned...

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On a Mission to be one of the DMV's BEST PUA!!

SPAM id - xhandlessx

well i do not want to express my feelings too early because it may frighten her off. also if this other guy is a pua why is he paying for her attention. must be costing him a fortune.

i attended a dance workshop this week with her and when i left she chased after me for a conversation. next week i am taking her salsa dancing and will start flirting...

While you've been drawing up plans for a course of action, some guy who's living in another city, who's paying for a weekend at Hilton and all that that is perfecting the seduction game.

He has money at his disposal (weekends at the Hilton aren't cheap) and he has definitely given her things to think about (read pampering and relaxation), but if you think that it's going to stop there. It isn't. Women like to return favours, and she would be inclined to get comfortable with him, post this weekend escapade.

It's not about money, as much as it is about what you're offering vs. what he is offering.

Instead of offering her 'encouragement', you could've just shown some indifference with a hint of jealousy and she'd eat that off your hands. She wants to know that she is valued by you, that you're attracted to her and that you'd like her around you more than around other guys. And that's the 'intent', people have been speaking of here.

Stop procrastinating and set the ball rolling. If you're better option, make her understand that through words and action that you are.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

you are not willing to express yourself because you are afraid to lose her?

but to lose her, you would have had to get her in the first place, no?

aren't you afraid that by not expressing yourself, you won't get her?

is this truly what you want? to be some girls dancing video guy? why don't you take this where you want it to go, and stop being so worried about what she thinks? if she doesn't want the same, wouldn't it make sense that you are not suited for each other?

wanting a girl and not being afraid to show it, and needing a girl, and having to show her constantly just so she won't forget it, are two different things