http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=42856005

I don't wanna put myself too out there, that everyone sees everything about me, particularly who might know me and see my profile. I intend it to be a laid back profile with a picture that i can use to message other single girls in my city. I just wanna go out with girls and maybe have a relationship with one i like.

Please tell me any criticism you have! Any tips, anything would help?

I'd change the pic. Seems like you're smoking and many girls (atractive and hot ones) that don't do so might see that as un atractive.

I'd post a pic of myself showing a possitive trait, or at least a smile..

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".. I will learn all that I've forgotten, I will succeed where I'd previously failed, and even if I don't I wont stop, cuz this is not just about girls, this is about Life "

1) Your profile picture will put a lot of girls off right out of the gates because of the smoking (you have that you don't smoke on your profile??)

2) The "fishing" "lawl" message could be improved, it could be construed as immature. It also put across an unsure vibe

3) Chicks will read between the lines with your comments of being bored. Being bored says that you don't have much going on in your life, that you want a girl to come in and spice it up. The subtext to this is "come and make my boring life more enjoyable", if I was a chick I'd be thinking "what makes you worth that effort?" and you haven't really demonstrated anything positive with anything in your profile.

I've been hyper critical I realise, but so will every chick that visits your page!

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TruthLoveLaugh

Bad news .. there's no fun!

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A wise man hears one word and understands two.
— Jewish proverb