Hey guys, I have a question. I approached a girl during the day, we talked about classes and also about music. We r doing different stuff on campus and like different music. I asked for a number she gave me her facebook instead. Shes relli good looking but this lack of connection is killing me. She accepted my friend request and I need a good facebook msg so she doesnt flake on me. I see she likes to travel on facebook, so do I. Although we nvr mentioned this in our interaction can i still bring it up on the msg. Im not relli good at facebook game and Im confused as to wht to say nxt.

Hey mate!

There are a couple of things wrong here. I ll answer your question later on.

First, i can understand that the lack of connection is killing you, but think for a moment: what topics did you talk about? Classes and music... those are really superficial topics, not really 'connection - making stuff'. Well actually, now that i think of it, that isnt completely through.

You can make a connection with any topic. The trick is that you need to shift from the topic towards how she feels about that topic. All you need to do is be interested. And dont take shit for an answer!! When you get a good answer, you need to relate to it. you need to tell her you either feel about the same or totally not, you understand?

Bad example:

you: so, what kind of music do you like?
her: hte usual stuff, thinks you hear on the radio
you: oh, cool, so what classes do you like?
her: math and physics
you: aah math, yeah. So, where do you live?
her: south
you: cool. can i have your number?
her: i need to go. add me on "i-am-not-going-to-reply-to-your-messages-facebook".

Bad, very bad example. Your conversation might not have been this bad, but it is just an example. This is interview mode, you ask silly questions, you get shitty one word answers and you seem to be happy with those answers! That is not the way to make a connection.

Better example:

you: so, what kind of music do you like?
her: well, the usual stuff, things you hear on the radio
you: oh... and is there a particular song you like? that perhaps gives you a good feeling?
her: i dont know... erm.... Michael Jackson used to make me happy actually
you: hehe, that is cool. I am not really into Michael Jackson. When i want to feel happy and relaxed, i listen to trance.... nice tunes, chill beats... htat does it for me
her: yeah, well, when i am really relaxed and i need some chill music, i listen to Bob Marley.
you: haha, really? Bob Marley... geesh, i would have never thought that of you! You dont look like a Bob Marley girl .
her: yeah, i know, but its a hidden side of me!
you: ooh the dark side... You know what really would make me chill like there is no tomorrow? Sitting on a beach with a cocktail listening to some nice tunes. Then i would really be relaaaaaaxed. You know, that sort of feeling you have when there are no troubles, no worries, no stress... sometimes even time itself seems to fade. Preferable a beach far far way. i like to travel
her: no way, you serious?
blablalbalba

You see the difference here? Just plain facts are boring. The sky is blue, grass is usually green and bla bla bla. What is really interesting is how people experience facts, how people feel about things or how they look at things. That is what makes somebody special, unique. That is what you are looking for when you are in a conversation with a woman.

So basically, with this particular girl, you kinda pushed yourself on to her. She was friendly and gave you the facebook. I dont see this end well, but you can always try. you dont need 1 good facebook message. You just need to try and make htat connection.

I hate facebook and so called 'facebook gaming'. So if you can, go real life! What you can try is practice making connections. practice leading people into telling you what makes them tick, what is special to them. Put you in such a position that they show you in what way they are unique.

With this girl in particular, you can start off like this on any given evening:

you: hey! (wait)
her: hey
you: how was your day today?
her: oh it was ok, i guess.
you: oh, that doesnt sound very... enthousiastic. how come?
her: i dont really want to talk about it
you: oh, that is ok. Mine was fantastic btw, thanks for asking .
her: oh sorry . how come?
you: well, i had a couple of drinks with some friends i havent seen in a while. And i was like really happy to see them again! You know that feeling, when you meet somebody from some time ago? You are bound to have a good time then .
her: yeah, that is true! I have some friends back blablatown. its been ages since i ve seen them
yadidaa yadidaa

This may seem very easy, and ofcourse, all depends on how she responds to you. If you force a conversation on her, she might not be willing to give you much to work with. On facebook, it seems also generally acceptable to just leave the conversation. but dont let it discourage you!

i hope it helped, if you got more questions, shoot!!

cheers and good luck!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

I see this girl is passionate about travel and helping the poor, facebook gives me alot to work with. Should i try and mention something like 'hey your display picture is soo cool where did u go?' as a convo starter. Just by saying 'hey!' i have a high chance of getting flakes. I failed to build a good connection in real life but now I have to make up for it.