How to get with a "good friend"



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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 3:06 pm 
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Altho mates and friends have told me otherwise I'm pretty sure I'm in the friend zone on this one:

I'm off to reading festival soon with 1 girl (was going with the gf and her mates but broke up so it's just us 2)

Before I begin I've been friends with this girl since the start of college (I'm 22) she used to be proper weird looking and nerdy. I really only befriended her as she was getting bullied and I hate that shit. Got into a couple fights with the bullies that she doesn't know about. Anyway

About 2 years ago her sexuality fucking exploded. Her tots got massive, her legs got awesome and she realised he looks fucking gorgeous with makeup and all that shit. She's quite the dirty slut these days (she's Had sex with 2 of my mates) and since then I have seriously wanted to destroy this girl.

Over the course of the time I've known her literally all my mates have stated that there is serious sexual tension between is two (we insult and yell at each other a lot of the time and I'm the only one she let's call her a slut) and "have you and ... Had sex yet?" everytime I meet up with a mate.

I however think I'm friendzoned but there have been some weird recent things:

1: about a couple months again we went out clubbing as a group, we all got smashed and I spent half the night making out with her. I don't remember this night. I personally think its just the alcohol.

2: about a month ago she randomly rang me at 2 am asking if I wanted to get drunk, she came around mine with a load of booze, we got drunk. She said she was cold so I got her a blanket, weird story short we randomly cuddled all night and moved from the living room to the bedroom and just cuddled.)


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 3:46 pm 
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Quote:

1: about a couple months again we went out clubbing as a group, we all got smashed and I spent half the night making out with her. I don't remember this night. I personally think its just the alcohol.
Bullshit! You remember making out, but don't remember the night? Or you had a chance to bang her, and did not follow through! Did not escalate to sex! WHEN YOU COULD HAVE AND SHOULD HAVE!


Quote:
2: about a month ago she randomly rang me at 2 am asking if I wanted to get drunk, she came around mine with a load of booze, we got drunk. She said she was cold so I got her a blanket, weird story short we randomly cuddled all night and moved from the living room to the bedroom and just cuddled.)

Again she troughs pussy in your lap and......Did not escalate to sex! WHEN YOU COULD HAVE AND SHOULD HAVE!

Look Bro I'm not trying to bust your balls to hard, but this kind of behavior will put you in the friend zone EVERY TIME!

But look at lucky 'ole you! She is gonna offer it up one more time!


SEXUALLY ESCALATE.
From the very first minute you are together, you need to sexually escalate so she understands that you’re not there for the comradeship!

At the start, pull up your big boy pants, lock eyes with her, lean in, and in your sexiest voice whisper "Before this night is over, we are going to fuck like animals!"

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 6:21 pm 
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In the interest of saving everybody's time, I am going to break this down for you..

Exhibit A : "about a couple months again we went out clubbing as a group, we all got smashed and I spent half the night making out with her. I don't remember this night. I personally think its just the alcohol. "

She wanted to make this easy for the both of you and hence, the next morning you could've blamed the alcohol. She was offering you an easy 'in', as to speak, and even in your inebriated state you lacked the conviction and the courage to take the final step.

Exhibit B : "about a month ago she randomly rang me at 2 am asking if I wanted to get drunk, she came around mine with a load of booze, we got drunk. She said she was cold so I got her a blanket, weird story short we randomly cuddled all night and moved from the living room to the bedroom and just cuddled."

This was another opportunity handed to you on a platter. All of the jazz simply translates to "The girl did 75% of the work" , and still you failed to pick up on the signals. And hence, no tangible outcome except "cuddling".

Now, she has given you two opportunities to do something about your "situation" and you've failed to take the chances. She, in her mind, has boxed you in as someone who's 'scared of taking the final step' and we cannot fault her for that judgement.

There are no big fixes to this except you finding the dregs of confidence inside you that makes a man take control in a situation(s) like this.

Also, I am not sure if I really should dispense any sort of advice to you considering, and I quote..
Quote:
since then I have seriously wanted to destroy this girl.
We don't preach "lady-killing" or "lady-destroying" in here.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 6:33 pm 
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Ya I have to agree with the other guys. You are about as far away from friendzoned as you can get your issue is that you aren't taking advantage of these, frankly, god given opportunities. I'm almost positive, and I'm 14, that if she makes out with you and is willin to take it to your bedroom she's about as ready as she can be. You just have to take advantage of the situation

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 9:04 pm 
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Sorry boys I forgot to add some details to the situations that happened:

Also by destroy I meant make her have the best sex shes ever had.
Quote:
In the interest of saving everybody's time, I am going to break this down for you..

Exhibit A : "about a couple months again we went out clubbing as a group, we all got smashed and I spent half the night making out with her. I don't remember this night. I personally think its just the alcohol. "

She wanted to make this easy for the both of you and hence, the next morning you could've blamed the alcohol. She was offering you an easy 'in', as to speak, and even in your inebriated state you lacked the conviction and the courage to take the final step.
Right Okay, I really didn't explain this stuff in detail. When this happened I was leaving my hometown for my University town. THus I had a big smashup out clubbing. I got beyond drunk and the last thing I remember is throwing up in the taxi 3 times...with my girlfriend looking after me.

Yeah when me and "the good friend" were making out we were both insanely drunk (neither of us remember it) with my girlfriend in the same club off with her friends somewhere. One of my friends (female) told me the next morning "I had to come and rip you two apart as Sophie was coming"

Just so everyone knows I'm no longer with my gf after breaking up 2 weeks ago. I did tell her about making out with this girl but again I was drunk and told her I wanted to have a threesome with her and this girl. That did not go down well. (This wasn't the reason we broke up)
Quote:
Exhibit B : "about a month ago she randomly rang me at 2 am asking if I wanted to get drunk, she came around mine with a load of booze, we got drunk. She said she was cold so I got her a blanket, weird story short we randomly cuddled all night and moved from the living room to the bedroom and just cuddled."

This was another opportunity handed to you on a platter. All of the jazz simply translates to "The girl did 75% of the work" , and still you failed to pick up on the signals. And hence, no tangible outcome except "cuddling".
This yeah, felt stupid in the morning but chances come and go.
Quote:
Now, she has given you two opportunities to do something about your "situation" and you've failed to take the chances. She, in her mind, has boxed you in as someone who's 'scared of taking the final step' and we cannot fault her for that judgement.

There are no big fixes to this except you finding the dregs of confidence inside you that makes a man take control in a situation(s) like this.

Also, I am not sure if I really should dispense any sort of advice to you considering, and I quote..
Quote:
since then I have seriously wanted to destroy this girl.
We don't preach "lady-killing" or "lady-destroying" in here.
[/QUOTE]

I would say that my confidence with her is really different when compared with other girls. I can banter/insult her all day long and I can give her compliments when I think she wants them but as she has become quite a good friend of mine every time we get into a tipsy/drunk/whatever situation like the cuddling one my mind goes all "failure = awkwardness with a good friend."

I'm assuming it makes no difference if she was all "Is it weird if I cuddle you? I'm just really cold." She also refers to me as her "bestie" A LOT.

Apologies if I sounded like a douche. Cheers for any posts.


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