I like to think of it in these terms ...

Instead of looking for a LTR ... don't look for anything ... just take it as it comes one day at a time and enjoy it while it lasts ... since every relationship has a beginning, middle, and an end ... it's all gonna happen eventually ... even if the end is not a break up ... even if the end is death after a really long relationship ... the end will come ... so in the meantime have fun and enjoy the beginning and middle ... immerse yourself in the good times ...

will she cheat ... possibly ... records have proven once a cheater always a cheater yes ... but ... I bet the people who tested that were looking for that ... it's like when you are really negative ... you only see bad things happening to you ... but if you changed your perspective that people can change for the better ... then you will probably start seeing that ... beliefs create reality ... right?

But you never know ... you might give her the benefit of the doubt not to cheat ... but then she does ... that would suck right ...

well if my theory on cheating is correct then ... you can't get cheated on unless you expect to be cheated on ... so if you don't expect anything ... and you give her the benefit of the doubt that she might cheat ... it's not so bad in the long run ...

for example:
"babe ... just to let you know ... if you ever get that urge to cheat ... the door is right there ... I love you but you got to do what you got to do ... I would appreciate it if you tell me ahead of time so I can go ahead and break up with you ... but if you chose not to ... I'm going to find out eventually anyways ... and then I will break up with you regardless ... I would hope you don't feel that way ... I love you and would never cheat in you ... but if you ever feel like I'm holding you back ... don't ... because I never want you to feel any time of resentment towards me ... cuz I'm happy with you


That's just my two cents ... but I don't have any problems with losing a girl ... I know not a lot of people are like that ... but I'm selfish ... so I try to create every scenario in a way that brings me the best possible vibe and saves me a headache ...


So it's not a matter of if it's right or wrong to start talking to that girl ... it's just a matter of do you want to or not ... and enjoying today with her ... not putting expectations up

I try to set my relationships up with the least amount of expectations as possible ... every relationship still needs some ... but I like my freedom

We can go into discussion but in the end of a day, is it really a goal to have a not cheating girlfriend?

I prefer to have the happiest girlfriend with me and in the end of a day, if she will ever cheat, I will write down my phylosophy as really bad.

Of course ... We all want that non cheating girl ...

All I'm saying is ... take a chance cuz you can never really know 100% what the outcome will be ... Enjoy it while it lasts and try to frame it in a way that if cheating does accur you won't go crazy about it ... be prepared .. But thats just me

i wouldnt be getting involved in an LTR with a girl that has cheated before personally. doesnt mean you cant have some awesome friends with benefits fun with her though!

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what if....

Usually yes.

But some girls mature and get out of the slut phase, so a girl who used to cheat might stop being one down the line, but probably takes a long time. A close personal friend of mine has been dating a guy for three years now and she used to always cheat, her bf is a total AFC as well judging by what she tells me about him.

Did you not read properly? PUA techniques are good for SCREENING for potential LTRs, to see if they're "your type" of people.

Of course, if you want to handle your LTR like a bitch then you'd just wind up getting dumped or cheated on. For LTRs I would advise keeping them at arms length at the beginning and look out for any warning signs. If she starts acting disrespectful and making excuses to not be around you, send her off quickly.

Not exactly my wording ... but I agree with your statement ... MAN LAW!!!

just my two cents here. I believe there is cheating, and there is cheating.
I have been cheated on once. I was 15 years old, and my 14 years old girlfriend was sleeping with me AND another guy at the same time. needless to say, I found out. dumped her. then got back with her, and finally executed my revenge on her.
she is a cheater, true. but if I met her now, I would probably still date her. She cheated at 14, but I am sure she is a very different person now than she was at 14.
it would be different if she had cheated at 26 and I was dating her 6 months later. then, her cheating would be a deal-breaker for a long-term relationship.
of course, she would have a zillion excuses (BF was beta, was a chump, was jealous, was boring, ...). none of these excuses cheating. plus, if I am in a LTR, I am looking for a person with whom I can also be weak, emotional and vulnerable. One night, I woke up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare. my GF asked me what was wrong and I told her about the nightmare and all. she hugged me tight and we slept hugged through the whole night. she won many more points with that than by deep throat'ing my dick. a bitch who will cheat at the first sign of weakness is not what you want. a girl who will spend the night hugging you for a nightmare is what you want.
executive summary: how much time ago did this girl cheat? has she had enough time to change/improve? is this a one-off thing or a repeated pattern? evaluate these items and decide.

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

Wow, some excellent feedback. Thanks so much guys, really appreciate.
This is helping me clear my thoughts and also look into POVs that I may not have realized.

The other thing that I thought would never get to me, but really has started to, with this girl, is her over-the-top faith that she constantly talks about. She talks to Jesus every morning (not kidding), and I'm even leaving the crazy parts about this aspect out. She is seeing a shrink though, so she realizes there is a problem and is working on it.

I have not called her this week. Will post more later. Thanks guys.

That's a good energy in the gym guys!

seagull_sfmv, the girl was in her late 20s when this cheating occurred, which continued for months.

Two other issues:
one is the "Jesus-Freak" issue.
The other, which occurs about, I'd say, 5% of the time, is that she's kind of disrespectful/bratty.

Now I don't have any trouble setting her back in her place when this behavior occurs, and usually, with some behavior conditioning, this will improve. She's a model, so I guess a lot of guys put up with this, I definitely don't.

Thing is, even if this is a short term thing, it is kind of annoying to put up with this behavior.

Rough Operator, know what you mean by some girls mature out of this phase. Don't know if she's there yet.

scottishguy86, as you mentioned, FWB with this girl would be a lot of fun. Even FWB involves a certain level of trust, and I just don't know how much I can trust her, based on the interactions so far.

pick up artist, know what you mean, about giving it a shot without expectations. It's just that being in constant "cop-mode" as her disrespectful behavior spills out is not something I would prefer. There is an HB8 at the moment, she is not a model, but not bratty/disrespectful. Thinking of giving her a shot, then reconsider this HB9 later. I usually go for the same type of girl, HB7 or higher in terms of looks, highly educated, great career. I have never run into one who is disrespectful/bratty. A few have a big head because of their education/career, but that's easy to find out in one or two outings. I usually don't run into models, and this is only the second one. The first one was bratty and I flat-out cut communication after the first date.

Snarg, the "victim card" perspective is eye-opening for me. Yes, I have to admit one of the reasons I still want to keep talking to this girl, is the hope that I'll have a little bit of positive influence.

jurupa and pumpington, I agree with you, that dating this girl will run the risk of cheating.

Overall, I am thinking of just ignoring this girl for this week/weekend and get to know how the HB8 is, as a person. Hopefully, will have some fresh perspective after that. What do you think?

Clearly, you only want to hear what you want to hear. So why ask for advice?

IMO, all the signs point to no. If you want to buy into her frame, go right ahead. LTR is and will ALWAYS be the girl's game.

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I still don't understand this at all. You're implying that only women want LTRs, and that's simply not true.

a girl in her late 20s should be thinking of settling down (the clock ticks), not of cheating..
this seems bad..
especially since it lasted for months.. we're not talking a crazy ONS after an argument with BF, guy was a perfect 10 with awesome game, girlfriends were pushing her to go for it, she was drunk, ... (none of these excuses the cheating of course). we are talking about months and months of good lying to a probably very nice guy who would pick her up from work, cook her dinner, and tender to all her needs. do you want to be that guy?
a Jesus-Freak who cheats? makes me sad
this needs to be fixed. you do not cope with disrespectful behavior. much more so not in the initial dating phase - if you allow this early on, once the "king is naked" and she is your GF and she is 100%-comfortable around you, what is going to happen?

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

Thanks everyone for the valuable feedback. I decided to completely cut contact with this girl for now.

I don't want to get sucked in by her drama and negative energy. I think this will help me get over her sooner.