The Journal: My PUA Training Experience



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PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 8:35 pm 
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Website: http://www.facebook.com/mkinnemore
Location: United States
I've been reading a few learning journals over the past week or so, and I find that they seem to be incredible tools for improving your game. Anyway, I've been working on my game over the summer on and off, so I'm not completely new. But I haven't improved much because, like I said, it's a on and off deal.

So, what made me become interested in PUA??? I guess like most guys, I was really tired being the one guy who just couldn't get the girl no matter how hard I seemed to try. I never could figure out why, but when it comes to women, I tend to make it up to the plate...and then strike out looking. I just turned 21, and I still haven't had much experience with women. A few dates here and there, but I've never have actually been in a LTR (Not high school, not college,...never).

While becoming better with women is important, it's not the only reason (or main reason for that fact) I'm putting in all of the this work. What I really want to do is make myself into a better person. I want to become the type of guy who is intelligent, confident, funny, and really interesting. I'm not saying that I don't already have these qualities, but I can never stop improving, right :) . Anyway, I guess today with be the official start on the road to the new me, the better me. I know it's going to be tough and long, but it'll be well worth the effort. So for a quick summary, here's a list of my goals for the next few months.

1) Display confidence in all situations (public speaking, talking with women, etc.)
2) Establish an attractive lifestyle (develop hobbies, become more spontaneous)
3) Establish who I am, and believe in me (Yeah, sound corny, but I to be bold and have the ability to stand up top at school, work, and whatever I do.)
4) Lose Mr. Nice Guy (I'm not going to be a jerk, but I need to stop trying to please everyone by being the nice guy)

Anyway, this is all I can think of right now, but I'll definitely be updating this list along the way. I'll try to keep this journal going daily, though I can't make any promises. Let see where this road will lead to next.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." -Lao-tzu


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 Post subject: So the Journey Begins
PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 6:58 pm 
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Location: United States
Entry #2: Off to NC

I am a college student and for a scholarship that I am receiving, I was asked to attend a ceremony for the scholarship in Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. My brother is also receiving the same scholarship, so my parents drove to pick me up (I'm currently am working as an intern in South Carolina) and we drove to NC.

The interesting part: "Learning Leadership"

The scholarship foundation wanted all of the students to arrive early before the event for some "Leadership Sessions," or something like that. Anyway, when I arrived I was a bit surprised to see...girls...a lot of them too. So I figured, perfect place to practice a little game. Once my brother and I checked in, the organizers told everyone to mingle, and get to know each other; perfect. My brother and I began to introduce ourselves to people, but then I saw group of students that were all just awkwardly sitting together and not talking at all, including 2 girls that were HB 6.5/ 7. I approach the group and said:
"Wow, this looks like a fun group over here. I need to hangout with the cool kids"
Then my brother came over and made a quick joke. It got everyone laughing and then I asked for everyone's name and major. I got everyone talking and suddenly, I was the center of attention. One guy was entering as a freshman at the same university as me, so I gave him some friendly advice about school. Some how, we began talking about peoples future plans, so I went around the group again and asked everyone what did they wanted do after graduation. This really got the conversation, but I never mentioned much about my plans. One of the girls asked,
"So, what do you want to do...I guess after you graduate."
Perfect! Not only did I get the entire group involved, I got people to respond well and ask question back to me. This really boosted my attitude for the entire evening.

The Ceremony: Social Status and DHV

Afterwards, we all had to get a bus and go to ballroom on the Marine base. Once we got there, they reviewed what was going to happen blah, blah, blah, and then told us to go to a meet and greet with the scholarship sponsors. Initially, there weren't any people beside the students there so, I began talking with students, and working on opening people. I'm not going to go in detail with everything, but here what I think was my best opener.

The HB 8
After taking a group picture, saw an HB 8 and her friend (The friend wasn't very attractive). I decided to introduce myself .
Me: Hey, so what school are y'all from?
The friend: blah, blah...I really can't remember, :lol:
HB 8: I go to UNC.
Me: Ok, cool. Well...I'm going to go ahead and ask the other typical questions, haha. (they both laughed) What are you both studying?
HB 8: I'm studying biomedical
Me: Biomed...like biomedical engineering?
HB 8: Nope, just biomedical.

From here, we continued to talk about their plans for after graduation, they both wanted to go into nursing. It got a little boring, so I decided to start talking about horrible professors. As we were talking, people whom I had met early began joining the conversation and I introduced all of them to the 2 girls. Once again, I became the center of attention (usually, I avoid being the center of attention...but tonight I went with it and it definitely help me DHV.) Anyway, the conversation became a lot of fun; however, the meet and greet ended and it was time to prepare for the ceremony. I wish I would have #close the HB 8, but I don't live near UNC anyway...should have got her email/ facebook. Here's what I learned.

1) OPENING IS EASY ONCE I OVERCOME AA. (In the past, AA has really held me down. Tonight I was comfortable and didn't struggle too much.)
2) ESTABLISHING SOCIAL VALUE IS IMPORTANT. (Get to know everyone, don't just focus on the girls.)
3) LESS IS MORE (I tend to tell everything about myself...but sometime leaving mystery can DHV better.

What I need to improve on
1) LEARN TO CLOSE. I didn't close a single girl...I wish I had.
2) BODY LANGUAGE. I still fidget a lot when I get nervous...also, eye contact is crucial.
3) BUILD ATTRACTION. I really don't know how to build attraction at all. This is something I really need to improve on.
Overall, I had a really good night. I met a lot of people, including the Sargent Major over the base, and a two-star Marine General! They both said they were impressed with my accomplishments even tried to recruit me into the Corps, haha. I made several girl and guy friends, and several contacts for networking :) . Anyway, I'll say that this was a great way to start my journey, and I can't wait to see where this road leads.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 5:16 am 
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Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 5:10 am
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Website: http://www.facebook.com/mkinnemore
Location: United States
Entry #3: Back in Greenville

After a long drive from Camp Lejeune, I made it back to my place in South Carolina. None of my roommates were around and I was still feeling quite confident from the previous night at the ceremony. I decided to head to the mall in Greenville and see if I could work on some day game.

Goals:
- 10 approaches. 5 of them using a random line (I’m trying to improve my spontaneity and convo skills)
- Remember the name and eye color of each target.
- 1 #close.

Today, I wanted to really focus on my conversational skills. While I was at the mall, I decided to also look for a birthday present for my cousin. This should be a handy opener, so I tried with the first few approaches.

Holister
The first store I entered was Holister. I don’t really like shopping there, but the girls working there are usually cute, and opening an employee would be a good warm-up. I looked around for an employee and saw one girl folding some clothes. She turned out to be a cute black HB 7.

ME: Hi, do you work here?
HB: Yes, can I help you with something.
ME: Yes. I’m looking for a gift for a very special girl…my cousin (We both laughed). She’s like my little sister and she’s turning 16. I don’t really shop for teenage girls, but you look like you’re around that age. (I figured she was older than that, but this was a little test / neg)
HB: Haha, I’m 18. I just graduated.
ME: Okay, well congrats.
HB: Thanks. Anyway, what is she into? Is she really girly?
ME: Well, I haven’t seen her in about a year. I told her that I’m going to mail her a gift, but I’m driving down this weekend and I’m going take it myself and surprise her.
HB: Aw, that’s sweet. I think she’ll like these pants (there was a table of different colored jeans in front of us). I’m actually wearing a pair right now. Do you know what size she wears?...
Blah, blah, blah. Boring stuff about jeans, shirts, and whatever.
HB: Since it’s summer, she might like some shorts. (She walked me over and showed me a pair)
ME: Wow…that’s short. I think I’ll go with the pants, haha. (She laughed). I actually told her that I’m buying a poncho. That’ll cover everything up.
HB: Hahaha. But she’s in high school. She’ll probably want to show a little skin. You know, get some of the boys’ attention.
ME: Ah, that’s okay. Like I said, she’s like my little sister. So, I’m not going to let her date until she’s 30, haha. Anyway, what school are you going too?
HB: I’m starting at Greenville Tech, and then I’m going to Clemson.
ME: Okay, cool. I have a few friends that go to Clemson. What do you want to study?
We talked a little about how she wanted to study Nursing and eventually go to PA school in Atlanta (Where I’m from). I mentioned that I was beginning my senior year in college, and I was about to begin applying to Medical School.
HB: I thought about doing the Medical School route, but it’s just so much work.
ME: Yeah, It is a lot. Anyway, thanks for the help. What’s your name by the way?
She gave me her name and I gave her mine. She said that she hoped my cousin liked the outfit and then I walked to the cashier.

Analysis
C&F – 7/10 (I made her laugh quite a bit. I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for, but I did make it clear what I wasn’t buying.
Smile – 8/10. (I kept everything lighthearted and fun. I smiled almost the entire time)
Eye Contact – 4/10 (I didn’t make as much eye contact as I should have. I spent a lot of time looking at the clothes.)
Kino – 2/10. I shook her hand…That’s a start.

Overall, I felt like this was a really good approach. I was able to DHV simply because I was buying a gift for my little cousin. I think that the age neg worked well too, and it helped me move the conversation to a new subject. I still failed to create attraction and escalate; I also failed to look for IOI’s. Lastly, I think everything went decently well. Should I have gone for the number close? I’ve heard that girls are cautious about giving out numbers at work, especially if they get hit on a lot. Oh well, I wish I had tried.

Anyway, I opened the cashier with the line “These are not for me…I promise.” I told her about how I was getting my cousin a gift and she thought it was really sweet. We talked a bit more and I joked about how I now had to walk around with a bag that had a topless male model...She laughed a lot while I was talking, so I was feeling pretty good. By the time I left the store, the mall was about to close so I decided to head downtown. This is when things got interesting…but I’ll save that for my next post :) .

What did I learn?
- Having a good canned opener really helps make an approach easier.
- A well place neg can make the conversation much more interesting.
- I need to learn when and how to close.
- I need to learn how to create attraction. Using Kino will be helpful too.
If anyone has tips for building attraction, please send them my way. I feel like this is the last major obstacle to me getting some # closes. Also, I’m not sure I completely understand how to us Kino in day game.

"you miss 100 percent of the shots you never take" - Wayne Gretzky


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 4:56 am 
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Joined: Sun May 20, 2012 5:10 am
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Website: http://www.facebook.com/mkinnemore
Location: United States
Entry #4: Greenville Nights

Maybe I should have had and objective or goal for the night, but I didn’t. I guess I wanted to make ground on my 10 approach challenge from earlier in the day, but my true goal was to have fun. Downtown Greenville on a Friday night is simply a beautiful place for pickup on weekends. When I got there the city was already alive, and I began to feel AA. I walked down the road past several sets of girls, yet I just could approach. I decided that I was going to try an opener asking for directions, so initially I walk towards a group of girls…but then I choked and never made the approach. I continued walking and I was determined to force myself to approach the very next set I walked past.

Street Approach
So as I continued walking, I saw a set of 3 girls walking towards me. One girl was cute, HB7 I guess, and then her 2 friends were okay.. Without over thinking, I went for the approach.
ME: Hey. Do y’all know where Brown Street Blues Club is? I’m supposed to meet a friend there and of course he isn’t picking up his phone, haha. Anyway, some guy sent me this way…and this doesn’t look right at all.
HB7: Haha, yeah the farther down this way you go, the shadier it gets. Anyway, you’re going completely the wrong way.
ME: That’s what I thought. Where should I go?
HB7: Walk up Main Street until you get to coffee? I think. (Looking at her friend, who shakes her head to confirm). Then you’ll see a big sign in the Alley.
ME: Woah, you must just be trying to get rid of me...sending me down alleys and everything. You probably have someone waiting back there to kill me or something, haha.
This made the entire group laugh a lot. We all begin walking up Main St.
HB7: Yeah, that’s it, haha. I have someone waiting just for you.
Anyway, we continued talking and I was able to get all 3 girls involved and laughing. Once we got to the corner of Main and Coffee St. told them bye. They stopped quickly to give me final directions from the corner. They said bye and we went our separate ways.I was really surprised at how well that went. This really changed the course of the night.

Brown Street Club
I entered a cool Jazz/blues club and sat at the bar. Unfortunately, I was by far the youngest person in the place and instead of attempting to build social value, I sat alone. I got a drink and began making small talk to some people around me; however, I didn’t talk to a set with a guy and girl because I assumed they were together. Eventually, the girl began dancing while her friend continued sitting so I laughed at here just a little bit.
HER: I know I can’t dance like black people, but I’m not bad.
ME: Well, there’s a reason why I still sitting here. I may be black…but I’m not that black.
She and her friend laughed. I immediately began talking with her friend and it turned out that they weren’t on a date; instead, they were both in the same band. I talked with him quite a bit about the band and the girl came and joined in with us. They were both really cool but then they got up to leave. As they were leaving, the girl turned around and gave me a hug before saying bye.

Blu Martini Bar
When I arrived, I was feeling very confident and quickly went from knowing nobody to chilling with several groups of girls and guys. However, there was one group of guys that really seemed to be the life of the party. They were # closing girls right and left. I was casually talking with one girl (she happened to be a ballet dancer ;) ), but then the conversation kind of died. Soon after, one of the guys came in and began making moves. I watched just to see what would happen. Before I knew it, he was handing her his cell and # closing another girl and she was completely sober. I had to get to know these guys. I introduced myself, and talked to the 2 guys and a girl that was hanging with them briefly. One guy told me that he was leaving for Houston the next day, but I should hang with his friend and the girl at some club (I can’t remember the name the next night). I would have taken them up on it…but you’ll understand why I didn’t later. I left the group and began dancing with some random girl who was dancing with her friend (I think I just grabbed her hand and started dancing, haha.) We were both just slightly tipsy, but we had fun. Anyway, it got pretty late and she said she had to go find her friend. Before I let her leave, I told her I wanted to give her I French goodbye. I explained that you had to give one kiss to either cheek. We did the French goodbye and then I said one more and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. I don’t know if this counts as a kiss close….But this is definitely something I’ll have continue to try field testing!
Towards the end of the night, I opened another dancing girl with the opener,
ME: I don’t know if I should be embarrassed for you. At least you’re trying.
I guess this probably shouldn’t have worked, but I was feeling really confident and smiled the entire time.
HER: Well if I’m so bad, show me how to dance. You’re black, you should know how.
Of course I didn’t just start dancing; instead I gave a few retarded excuses as to why I wouldn’t dance. At first, I think she may have actually been putting me down, but after I began joking with all of my stupid excuses, it really ended up just being playful and fun. We were just getting into it when the lights began coming on and the club was closing. Outside, I met some guys who I was talking to earlier and they invited me out to another club with them. I should have said no, but I wasn’t ready to call it a night. On I went, looking for a new adventure. However, I may have received more than I expected :) ....

What did I learn?
- Street approach is possible!
- Social Value is key! Especially in night game.
- If I go out to have fun, I’ll have a good time regardless of what happens
- Taking risk yields better rewards

What needs improvement?
- I need build up to a number close. (I've still failed to even attempt a NC)
- Learn to build attraction.
- Learn to read IOI’s better.


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