just drop her, and move on to other girls, the day you lose your focus from getting her, is the day you can give this another shot and possibly succeed, but you will be starting from scratch, stop focusing on this girl, if she is truly interested and invested she may come around to you, if not, forget about her and do better next time

becomming more emotionally invested and needy towards someone who is not invested in you and low on interest will not help you in this situation, being needy for this will just further turn her off

you need more options

Thanks for your opinion.

I don't need her at all, I want to fuck her! It isn't a situation where I am all emotionally invested--I simply am wondering if there is insight into work relationship dynamics because I've never messed around with someone who I also have to have a professional demeanor with. I go out and mess around with other girls all the same; this isn't holding me back. Trust me I really am not being needy here.

ok, here is a little trick, if you are not emotionally investing yourself in to one specific girl, then you won't really be thinking about her in your spare time, you will be thinking of other girls and other things equally as much that have little to no emotional investment, if you find you are focusing on one specific girl, and your thought process revolves around only getting one girl and how to do it, you are already emotionally invested in her, you don't need to dwell or focus if you are not invested, if you want to sleep with a girl, you simply try to, if you don't need her and you are not invested, then obviously it isn't even important to get her and make it work in the first place, but having this idea that it is important is just trying to protect your own emotional investment in the first place (for some it is a massive emotional investment just to commit to approaching, for others its a big investment to tell a girl they like them, for other huge investment to try to kiss a girl, for others sex, and some simply only emotionally invest in girls they find as having a special qualities, and others are just borderline sociopaths that don't invest at all ever and have no regard for others or how they feel) you don't invest a bunch of time and energy on a girl if you don't need her, the thought of her does not follow you into the future with what ifs, or have your fretting over thoughts about the past with what could have been, that is what emotional investment does, it gets you invested in someone and the idea of them, no investment = don't care, completely attached, the more investment the more attached you have become, with obvious varying degrees

so, lets get back to this, you want this girl, you claim you are not investing yourself into this, go have sex with 10 other women, come back and have sex with this girl, if this doesn't seem more appealing to you, then you are needy for this girl and invested in the idea of her, if you truly believe you are not getting needy for this, simply express your intentions, isolate and escalate and have a good time, if work is some sort of problem, just get rid of the problem, don't openly sexually harass her at work or anything, just fish for some compliance, let her know you find her attractive, ask her on a date, if she says no, drop it and stop trying, not worth it to shit where you eat only to get shit all over the place that you can't clean, and if she agrees to a date, and you clearly outline your intentions, she has given you passive compliance to hit on her and escalate during the date, you can not be accused of sexual harassment etc. when she has agreed to a date, it either goes well and she complies all the way up to sex, or at some point she becomes non compliant, if that is immediately, then that is a good thing to know for someone you work with, so you can cut off any advances you were thinking of making immediately, as there are plenty of girls out there that you don't work with to choose from, but I totally understand, nabbing a girl from work is fucking easy, you don't have to go anywhere and it is like a warm approach, like candy from a baby, especially if you have status at your workplace

now if your sitting there thinking, holy shit, I have invested in this girl, I do think about her often, FUCKING HADUKEN!! I don't have many options and I want this girl cause she is the closest thing to sex with an attractive girl that I have going on right now and that has caused me a great deal of investment emotionally, well then, it's time to get out there, get more experience, and lower the amount of emotional investment it takes you to do an approach and escalate, and get more options in life in regards to women, get that shit handled so you don't end up getting oneitis every time you meet a new girl who is cute that you find the courage to open, and keep breaking down your barriers and challenging your comfort zone until you are a machine, with a level of confidence and certainty that rivals a borderline socially retarded ASPD who has golden plated balls of steel, except with good social skills and the ability to empathize, alot of friends, alot of female options and this is all no big deal to you

GOOD LUCK

Is there any sure fire way to definitively tell if there is interest? Suddenly she is talking to me, coming to my desk, hovering looking for a conversation, giving me lots of eye contact and some smiles; overall just way warmer and positive. I know she has also hung out with her ex-bf recently but I overheard her saying she doesn't want to get together, just be 'friends'. Typical girl move. In direct convo instead of mentioning his name she awkwardly said 'the person I am going with' when talking about going somewhere.

So any tricks to get a better sense? I don't and haven't made any effort to engage her at all, this is all her coming to me, kind of like how it was when it first started between the 2 of us.

Thanks!

here are some basic points you can use,

-she lets you touch her in a meaningful way
-she is willing to talk about herself with you
-she will hang out alone with you

if one of the above is missing, chances are, she is not available for you to sleep with, either seeing another guy, not attracted, emotionally unvailable, there could be a ton of reasons, but if she flakes a good 3x in a row, or won't let you touch her, or refuses to connect and invest in you, generally good signs that the girl is a waste of time, if she is trying hard to get your attention but is non-compliant and still screening poor, then I would just assume she is attracted to you, but sexually unavailable at the current time, it's worth a shot to do your best and get her out, but once you see a pattern, you might as well fall back and go for other girls, just give her time to miss you, keep in touch here and there, and test the waters for availability from time to time, but absolutely don't focus on her, once you see she is unavailable, stop investing in her

GOOD LUCK