Sup?

I'd really like some help on the best way to improve./take myself forward. There's a longer post below that ideally I want feedback on, but essentially what II want to know is if this is a good way forward: to go out whenever I have the time, make approaches, write a journal here and learn things by getting you guys to give me feedback on my results. (As opposed to needing to learn a system/routine/canned openner before going out) - So I'd basically be just grabbibg my balls and approaching with whatever comes into my head.

I'm 24, living in Croydon, a suburb of London and enjoying an epically busy life. I'm generally a good communicator, can have fun with women, talk to them, play good cocky funny. My biggest achievement/development so far is learning it's ok to 'go for a girl', day or night, and try to flirt/get her number. Still need to reinforce this as I still worry that the girl will get really uncomfortable or, if it's day, scared that I'm a weirdo! As though it's not socially acceptable to approach. I generally have most success using indirect situational openners where conversation seems natural and appropriate, then I can esculate from there.

I know a bit about PUA - I've read 'PUA', stickies here, watched a fair few youtube videos etc., I don't, however, have a particular method/routine I subscribe to. Do I need to know how different systems work etc? I'd rather not have to spend the time learning anything more - I think it will make too conscious. Like i vaguely know what a DHV story is, and I think I do this naturally, but do I have to learn exactly how this, just as an example, fits into such and such a method etc.?

Problems:
1) I've quite a few times approached a girl, had a good convo, got a number then nothing. Fail to get the date, the texting is drab or they just do not reply.
2) I also have little time, so I'm literally approaching 2 girls a month. My AA is low, but if it were lower still I could approach more women because in my lunch break I could approach a girl. just walking down the highstreet.
3) Too much fear of the consequences of approaching direct in the day - especially as I'm not in central London, I could be remembered if I happen to repeatedly see the girl in my lunch break etc.
4) I don't really know how to approach groups of girls in a bar. This is where a lot of the complex 'technical' (to me non-natural) game comes in.
5) Whilst I don't want to have to learn tons of material, clearly something is not working for me becuase I've been on one date in 6 months. i want to fix this problem so that I can have more fun with women ..


So to sum up, i think I have good social skills, but SOMETHING isn't going right because I'm not getting follow-up interactions. I'm hoping that this is just something simple that I can tweak. I'm prepared to learn if needs be, but I want to keep things fun and healthy. I particularly like the stickies that talk about this, about keeping things natural, not becoming weird and obsessed etc etc.

Thanks for getting through this guys! I really appreciate any help you can give me!!

Dihno

Hey mate.

Its a good sign you want to go out and do stuff, but its problematic if you dont exactly know what you are doing or in what direction you are going.

Its like you want to learn sailing without actually knowing how to sail. You just wanna do it, which wil make you sail to Asia while you actually wanted to go to Europe.

So, learn a system, a strategy and then go out. You dont have to learn everything before you can go out and test it! You read something then you go out and practice/try. You dont like it? learn something else. That is the best way to get somewhere. I would also suggest you dont stop at one system. learn multiple systems, try them, test them. Eventually, you will see that it isnt really the system that effects your game, it is YOU which affects your game.

Improve yourself and you will improve your game. That is why i suggest to learn as much as you can and to go out and try as much as you can!

cheers and good luck!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

Hey buddy,

Thanks for your reply. I know lots of bits from different systems. Do you think I need to learn one system properly? If so, which would you recommend? How exactly should I go about moving forward? Do the systems allow for a moment when you can stop using the system and just relax and be yourself?

Even the sentence 'using a system' sounds wrong-headed....

You want a system that feels more natural then just Read Gamblers (Richard La Ruina) new book the natural. I'm the same way. Iv never ever used a system because im part natural and iv been getting laid with pretty girls since i was 16 (28 now) ... i just wanted to improve my natural game here and there. Read it and do what he says from the way you look to body language (very important).
Just a quick tip about day game. You have to connect and build rapport pretty quick or you might as well not even get her number... she wont show. Also when you ask for a number it helps if there is a reason behind it. aka you talked about an awesome party and want to invite her and her friends or you talked about sushi and when you ask for her number you want to show her you favorite sushi restaurant. You get the point. Basically set an event and a reason right there and then and they'll be less likely to flake. Are you forgetting the power of qualification? "You're not one of those girls that flake all the time are you?" Iv used this a lot lately and iv gotten 0... yes 0 flakes in the past year.

Here is the system i use for day game. Keep good eye contact and body language and start to kino 2-3 mins in MAX

1. Situational opener or indirect opener
2. Build Rapport
3. Qualify them
4. BREAK Rapport (Neg, disagree, tease) - very important but don't overdue it and try to make it funny.
5. Escalate
6. Number close or instant date.

Very easy system right?

DHV is very over rated btw. This can be done naturally. TRUE masters skip it altogether. How is it done naturally? Well through qualifying them and breaking rapport it automatically shows DHV you dont need to do it.

Hi Dihno,
It seems to me that your "problem" is not the lack of information. That nailed it. As LD said, you also don't seem to know what you are looking for. Sit down and write out everything you are looking for in a girl. After you are done, add 10 more things. Star 5 things that are "must have", some that are secondary and leave the rest. Do the same for the "deal breakers".
Now, the goal of your approach is no longer to run your mouth and get a number, but to find out if she makes the list. Get her number if she has the potential. There are only two consequences now: she makes it or not. You are in control.

Hope this helps
Al

" I don't really know how to approach groups of girls in a bar. This is where a lot of the complex 'technical' (to me non-natural) game comes in. "

There are 3 ways you can do this. Iv tried all 3. they work some just take longer then others.

1. Open the set in the classic PUA way using an opinion opener then after you build rapport you neg your target then build more rapport with group the isolate target. You can take it from there. (This method takes the longest)

2. Force IOIs from the your target. If you make eye contact with anyone in the group. then for an IOI by simply waving or making a funny face or pointing or w/e just be fun. If she smiles or does it back then you can single approach her. You can do this to EVERY girl that you make eye contact with you in the club. Its a great way to know how responsive she'll be to your approach even before you approach and you can filter out the bitches or girls in a bad mood etc.

3. Make eye contact, Go up to your target and open with "Hey, how've you been?" (Say it loud) The group will assume yall know each other and give you some space. From there you can isolate and run further game.

Thanks a lot for the replies guys. Appreciate the help and tips!

One thing I'll add about me that I hadn't said before is that, possibly because I don't drink, I don't really like the bar/pubs/clubs. Only thing i like about it is the idea I could pull. Perhaps this is a good reason to stick to day game! I'd much rather be on a date!

juvx:I like your day game system! It's pretty much what I've been doing, but not frequently enough and not with the date closer thing - which I think is a great idea. I'm not sure I have natural game like you though... I'm good at talking to women in general, but I've been in long term relationships and have not really pulled often. Not massively successful on turning it on...

I looked up the natural by the way, and it just didn't seem to appeal to me on some level. Appreciate the tip though.

My biggest concern with what you've said is that if you're using situational openers, which is kinda what I've been doing, isnt it hard to find the girls? I can do it in my lunch-break with the waitress, but if i just head out on the street, I'm not sure how this would work? I thought you had to go direct....

Does the order of stuff in routines matter - e.g escalation before qualification? Both with day-game and night game? Also (sorry for so many questions), with your night game plan, presumably I should read up on follow-up method? You talk about isolating target, escalation etc....

Al: Love the list idea!! I think it will also mean less rejection because the girls I am going for will be on my level. You drew attention to the AA... is your suggestion for that to go and make direct openers in the day time in order to get over it? I think this is the most testing situation... It feels the least acceptable socially

Very, very lastly.....I'm going to a bar tomorrow with two female friends (don't want either). Any tips on what method to try etc?

Thanks again guys!
David

Personally, I don't think in terms of direct or indirect and say whatever feels right. For example, I busted one girls chops about her taste in beer (liquor store). I told a girl at the bus stop that I saw her playing with her Android phone and wanted to say hi. Both were 5 minute conversations where my goal was nothing more than to make them smile. Doesn't it feel fantastic to know that you made someone's day just a little brighter? That she will tell her friends how she met a cool guy and hopes to run into him again?
Obviously it may not get you laid like a rock star, but will attract many quality women into your life. It's hard to find people who would to something for others without expecting anything in return. This makes you stand out from thousands of other guys, whose only goal is to get into her panties.
I found that this mindset got me further than chanting affirmations, canned openers and memorizing routines combined.

Best,
Al