I've been in the game for a long, long time, but have never been a big forum poster. Some background before my question.. I lived in Los Angeles and Miami and was the guy who went out 6 nights a week to hone my game. I got to a point where any bar or club I would go to I was THE guy and I would pull the most beautiful girl in the joint night after night. I don't want to sound like a braggart, but I think it's important to understand where I'm at.

So I've been with many girls who were 10's physically, but in the club and bar scene, I find that most are 6's or 7's at best personality-wise. Through a mutual friend I was introduced to a girl who is a 9 physically, but personality wise she's a 10. She's very successful, has it together mentally, emotionally, and one of the few girls I've met that is beautiful and can match me, or even exceed me intellectually. So of course I made this girl my girlfriend, but after a few times having sex I started to develop this problem. I started to fantasize during sex about my other sexual conquests. This small seed grew and grew and after awhile every time we would have sex, my mind would have to drift there to achieve orgasm. Of course she noticed I was disconnected during sex, it hurt her, and I would always feel guilty afterwards. After awhile I was no longer turned on by her and any sexual advance she made I would feel a great deal of sexual anxiety because I hated that feeling of guilt.

Well we broke a couple months ago and now that I am level-headed I'm quite positive she was a solid candidate to be the girl of my dreams. So this leads me to my question, can becoming a PUA "master" create this monster who can no longer sustain positive, meaningful relationships? And why does this happen? How can I break this trend of disconnecting myself mentally during sex? Anyone out there develop this sexual problem? Does having too many sexual conquests remove you from reality? Anyone got to be in there mind so advanced at the game that they wish they didn't know it any longer because it becomes a part of them?

Anyways I hope this opens a fun discussion. Many PUA members mention Mystery as a guy who cannot sustain relationships. Although I don't know him personally so I really don't know..

Haha.. I hear you. I'll spare you my story but this is a problem for me as well.

The only thing I think works for me is turning someone I know into a gf. That way you actually have some sort of bond beforehand. All 'proper' gfs I've had have fallen into this category. Being able to pick up more women you can fit into your week is a problem if you want something long term, unless you get lucky and find someone that's so much better than your average woman (average as in what your skills usually give you) that she'll keep you interested.

It might help if you don't sleep with someone you think you'll like a lot until a bunch of dates in. An advice I'd never be able to follow myself.

No, this is just silly. Guys who don't want to settle down with one girl, shouldn't get themselves into monogamous relationships. If you don't want to be monogamous, then don't promise monogamy. In my experience, long-term, open relationships can be pretty awesome if you know what you're doing.

I think what you are describing are guys who learn everything there is to know about pick-up, but completely neglect relationship-game. These guys get frustrated because they can get the girl, but have no idea how to craft the kind of relationship that will make them happy.

Just my 2 cents.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Ya Wolf I'm more with you on this one. I can craft a relationship and maintain it well, but its difficult to get that full immersion into love. It's not that I want to go get with a bunch of different girls, I like being in a long relationship, but once you've been with so many girls its difficult to connect back to reality while your in that long relationship.

I guess now that I think about it, one of my biggest problems is reverting my mindset back to making love, rather than it being purely about me achieving orgasm. When you just pick a girl up it's a lot of times purely about the sex without ever being interested in maintaining a relationship and connecting emotionally. That's where I have problems.

lol Read the way of the Superior man.

yes pua does take the "love" out of it. When you have options you dont get attached!
But you dont have to fall in love! You can still GIVE LOVE. you can choose to love someone for say.

Thats some advise I got, I feel it is valid

Now go under Favorite lines in general questions and let me know what worked for you in LA and Miami

Thanks for the book reference! Gonna get a copy and read it.

Honestly I quit using lines and canned material a long time ago. I think once you practice enough you get to a point where everything is just natural. I probably use a different opener just about every time I jump into a set. A lot of times its just as simple as "Hi, you guys look like you're having a lot of fun, whats the occasion?" Just simple stuff. Its really just about getting your foot in the door with openers, it doesn't have to have any wow factor. I think body control and position, and creating pre-selection beforehand are more important than the line itself.

The line I will use in almost every set is, "You're very beautiful, but there are beautiful women everywhere.. (usually I will point them out or display the crowd with my hands) What do you have going for you other than your looks? (playfully point at them)" ... =instant attraction and girl will have to qualify herself to you. If a girl doesn't have anything going for her, I don't pursue, I don't care if she's a ten.. but generally everyone has dreams and ambitions, its just about weeding the ones out who aren't authentic. waste of time...

I hear you, I don't promise monogamous relationships and never meet anyone more than once a week, if that even. I thought I had just lost that ability to develop a real interest in anyone.. turns out last night's date made me think different, at least today, and I'll need help with that one (I'll start a new thread for that..)

I'm hoping that there will be one girl I'll meet that's just going to be so much better than the rest I'll actually get emotional about her and hang up my pua hat. Until then I'll keep on going..

I agree with what you say though, but I don't want to think there is such a thing as relationship game. Once I meet someone that high above the rest I hope I'll play that game without thinking about it.

I think this has more to do with our "drive(s)".

Scientifically, the more, as they call it in here, "alpha" a man is, the more is his drive to increase his mating pool. And that is inherent, it's a part of your nature. Now, would you fight against it? That's not going to help much, and it's not recommended either.

It is manageable though, you would just have to channel this sexual drive out through other means. If you're familiar with the Freudian concept of "Sublimation", you will have an idea of what I am talking of.

Here's a link towards what I'm talking of :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sublimation_(psychology)

At the end of the day, you will have to accept your nature for what it is, and then make a decision that would be beneficial for all the parties involved.

Also, there is no such thing as "relationship game", "dating game" or such, do not buy into such gimmicks. As soon as you attach the "game" to anything, it becomes a trivial matter, something that you can 'play' with. And we know that relationships, dating or the like are not matters that can be trifled with. Give them their due importance and you'll navigate the waters easily.

Good luck.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "