Girl at Gym Giving me IOI's, how to approach?!



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 2:29 pm 
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Hm, i understand you being scared to approach. We all get that. You really need to work on transitioning from the opener.

You are doing well with going up and introducing yourself.

What you will learn that in day game you need to express yourself. Tell her what you feel about her and why she stood out to you among all the other girls.


Here is how i would do it:

After your introduction and then her guessing your country or whatever. The conversation may go dead if you follow up with question after question. You want to avoid getting into interview mode. It is okay to ask questions but not to many. If you ask a question ask one let her answer and then CONNECT using the keywords she gives you.

Example:

Me: Hey, I've seen you around here a few times, what's your name?
HB: Hey, my names __insert name__
Me: __insert name__? cool. I'm gonna take a guess and say your......chinese??
HB: Yeah I am!/Um no I'm actually _____ (whatever she says)
Me: [Ill fluff a bit about the country shes from]
HB: So where are you from?(If she doesn't ask then I'll ask her "Where do you think I'm from?)
Me: I'll give you three guesses! Smile
HB: [she tries to guess my country]
Me: [Shell probably get it wrong so I'll end up telling her]


So here instead of asking how often she comes here or how long..You may wont to avoid this question since it can pretty much lead no where. You need to build rapport.

After she guess your country this is how i would follow up:

Me: Yeah im actually from Thailand. You must not be to much of a good guesser.(smile).
Her:(Laugh/smile) blah blah blah.
Me: I have to be honest, out of all the other girls i've seen in this gym you really stood out to me. Your body is amazing. You must really put in a lot of work and have a very healthy diet.


Here you make a statement that baits her to telling her more about you. Without asking..."So you have a nice body..Do you work out alot?"

Her: Yeah i do. I work out pretty much 3 times a week. I eat very healthy. Im a big health person.

Me: Yeah that's interesting because i was reading how exercising and eating healthier can lower a persons risk lot of the common American diseases, like heart disease, diabetes, obesity, that are killing people. It seems so simple, but i guess with everyone's day to day lives its hard to work out and eat right. I find it to be a very important part of my life.

She will probably follow up with something from here. And as you see the rapport is being built.

From her THEN you can ask a question such as what do you do for a living? Its okay now because you are actually connecting a learning more about her, rather than asking questions, after questions. The more you connect on topics, the more investment she will have in the interaction.

Anyway check out some of these post on my blog. Should be very beneficial to you.

Day Game(Approaching, Transitioning(Attract))
http://theattractiveu.com/day-game-appr ... ion-close/

Having a day game mindset
http://theattractiveu.com/having-a-day-game-mindeset/

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 10:40 pm 
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Hell yeah man that all really makes sense. I've always struggled with conversation when first meeting people I know nothing about. Now I understand why, it's all about building rapport! I just need to learn how to relax and be more confident so I can "listen" more and look for those keywords I can use. Thanks for the help man, really appreciate it. Your blog has great stuff aswell.

She wasn't at the gym today which is a bit frustrating so I'll need to wait till thursday and hope shes there. Although she's super hot and I would love something to come out of this, I'm not all that worried about the result anymore. The most important thing for me is to make this approach so that I can proove to myself that I can do it!

I had a brief chat with one of the personal trainers at the gym. The music can be a bit loud at times so I really need to improve my vocal projection as quite a few times the guy had to ask me to repeat myself cause he couldn't hear what I said.

Anyone know any good videos or reads about improving your vocal projection or just speaking louder and clearer in general?

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 11:45 pm 
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If it taste like chicken, smells like chicken and looks like chicken - it prolly is. Point I'm trying to make, if you feel she's checking you out, she prolly is.

You both obviously have something in common. Keeping your body healthy. Talk about it. Build rapport.

Normally I would advice you to use indirect openers at a gym, but like previously mentioned, it might be better to be direct here, since she's already waiting for you to get in there.


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 Post subject: hey
PostPosted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 12:19 am 
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am very sure she feels the same way,you should have told her all these


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 10:05 pm 
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It's been a little while since an update, how are you getting along?

Would be good to hear your progress :)


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 2:47 am 
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Yeah buddy, we need an update. This thread has already helped me. I've already had an encounter with the god damned head phones. But I wanna know how you made out. How did the removing headphones gesture work out for you. I might give it a try. Tonight.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 10:54 pm 
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Hey guys, sorry for the delay, there wasn't really anything to update you guys on so I didn't feel the need to post on here.

I was proper armed and ready to go make my approach and use all the tips I've recieved but...the Olympics happened(I live in London). I went to the gym as usual waiting for her to show up but she never did. I also had to skip a few days of the gym becuase I was working for the Olympics.

I think it's been 2-3 weeks since I've seen her. The Olympics are over so hopefully she will return to the gym as usual...

I told myself that I missed a golden opportunity with this smoking hot babe and I'll probably never see her again. It really is true, you have to take your chances when you get them! Don't overthink just do it!!

But I got a glimmer of hope. :D I was heading home form the gym(my usual gym time) and when I was heading home I see her at a distance heading to the gym. It seems she now goes an hour later than she use to go. Maybe she's been working overtime at work or maybe I've entered the creep zone and she is avoiding me. I don't really care. Right now I'm not thinking or worrying about the outome. I'm teaching myself not to be outcome-dependent. I'm gonna meet her halfway and go to the gym a little bit later than I usually do just incase she comes late.

I'm taking Neil Strauss' advice and taking it 1 step at a time. My aim is simply to approach the girl for now. If I get to number close her then cool, but if not who cares. I'm only concerned about learning right now. Even if I have to sacrifice this HB 9.5.

Since I haven't seen her at the gym I've been focusing on working on my rapport building skills, conversation skills and inner confidence. I've been practising by having conversations with people at work, building rapport with customers and getting use to chatting and smiling to strangers. I've also been reading the book "Confidence - by Rob Yeung" It uses techniques from CBC therapy, NLP and other stuff...it seems good so far, would reccomend it to people. One great quote from the book is:

"Confidence comes AFTER taking action." you can't just make yourself confident, you just have to take action, and then the confidence will come later.

I'm going Gym tomorrow so fingers crossed she will be there. If I never see her again then this is a lesson to myself and all you people. TAKE YOUR CHANCES WHEN YOU GET THEM. DONT PROCRASTINATE , JUST DO IT. DONT WORRY ABOUT THE OUTCOME.

If something happens will keep you guys updated :)

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