Hey guys

I wanted to talk about 2 points, first of all about those girls you can't get off your mind, it does'nt matter if she's not the hottest, or the smartest or even the funniest. Most probably there's someone else you know who is better than her, logically, but even after knowing all of this logically you still want "that one".

The other point is very similar; why is it that after you've been with someone you suddenly care who they've been with or who they're gonna be with after you? you never cared about it before and would'nt have cared if you never met her, as you're never gonna care about milions of other women.

I wanted to know your theories about why this happens? please elaborate, maybe someone comes with a way to stop this situations or use them to our advantage?

1.) Your pride gets involved in the situation

2.) You have an idealized view of the girl

3.) You don't have many other options, which often the case with AFCs

3a.) Or you have AA/shyness any you have options but its painful to puruse.

Thx for the reply IwantEasyLove, I have a couple of questions about the points you made

1.) I think this point is too abstract, what is pride for you? and what about it is so bad in this situation?

2.) Ok I realize that but how would you go to de-idealize her or do you just never do it and how?

3.) I completely agree, having options definitely makes the process a lot easier but that's something external which we dont have full control of, I want to talk about the best attitudes to take and what frame would a PUA have towards this type of situations?

1. Its not abstract at all. Your pride is how you feel about yourself. People fight for pride all the time. Same way with women it hurts your pride when a girl doesnt show interest in you and then people go off the deep in chasing her all for their pride, all for their ego.

2. Romanticized is a better word. Romanticized. People had a romanticized view of WWI then the war happen and people hated war. Mainly do to the media, women are put on a pedestal and made to seem more valuable than they are. Pussy is just entertainment, similar to an Xbox. When Im dealing with a girl and I develop feelings I give her a moniker. One girl in the past when ever I thought of her I would think of her as "the attention whore" and another girl, very pretty girl, i would think of her as "the lying ass bitch." Putting these negative labels on them make them unattractive and dimnishes their value in my mind. It similar to what Muhammad Ali did to his opponents calling his Opponents "The Bear" (Sonny Liston), "The Rabbit" (Floyd patterson), The Gorilla (Joe Frazier). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTrOMKryggY

3. You do have control of your options by going out and talking to other women instead sitting in bed and crying

Mental Weakness

Anxiety, is the sign of mental weakness that there is an absence of confidence in a particular area. Men these days are not as strong as they used to be. They have weaker wills because they have easier lives. They also were conditioned to deal with discomfort better.

What people fail to realize is that lust can really weaken you mentally? How so? Lust makes you want Great Pleasure at too low of a cost. Lust makes you want Great Pleasure without having to pay the cost for that pleasure. Lust conditions you to expect great pleasure at to low a cost. Nothing Great comes easy. It requires sacrifice, blood, sweat and tears...even anguish and misery.

Hey nice points you made there, I like the way you frame women as entertainment and your moniker technique, it does change the way you feel about someone when you change the way you speak about them. I notice I tend to do this when I'm set to forget about someone but I'm gonna practice doing it while in the relationship for balance.

What is your point of view on the Ego? I ask cause when we start training to become a better PUA we tend, in my opinion, to strenghten our Ego, and develop a better self-image, which gives you confidence to approach, but obviously when you climb higher you tend to fall harder. Do you think this is counterproductive? and how would you go about it?

Anxiety is one of the worse feelings to have and one that we all need to get over, what do you consider a strong man ? and how do you develop that confidence in yourself while destroying your ego?

Very interesting post !

The ego isn't a bad thing. It depends on how you use it. Just like anger isn't bad depending on how you use it. It's all about discipline using the ego to develop good habits. Honestly, when your ego is truly strong you will fail and fell like you should have won, that you can succeed.

IWantEasyLove is pretty much spot on about you idealizing one woman too much.

I'm sure we've all been hung up now or again on that one ex, or that "one that got away". I used to get that now and then, when I still bothered with long-term relationships, but a bit of age and experience has taught me that the intense feelings you have for one girl are exactly the same as you can have for a different one in the future.

My philosophy? Many, or even most pretty enough and nice enough girls could make you feel that way. I don't want to be selfish and keep the nice feelings for just one pretty girl. They all deserve our love!

"È tutto amore! Chi a una sola è fedele, verso l'altre è crudele: io che in me sento sì esteso sentimento, vo' bene a tutte quante."
("It's all love! Whoever loves just one is cruel to the rest: as for me, my kindness is so great that I love them all.") - Don Giovanni Nr. 14 (Mozart)

Hey that was a cool observation Dostoeschweffsky you're totally right and I realized it is the same feeling that I project to different women. That really makes me feel more responsible for it and more able to control it since it comes from myself, very interesting really.