Hi guys, I've been around these forums for a while to discuss openers, AA, shit tests... you name it. I've gotten and have given advice on everything, except on how to handle a breakup. If it's a quick hookup it's one thing.. shit happens. How do you handle the real thing?
I broke up with a girlfriend of 9 months and despite all the metal preparation I am a wreck. I feel that I no longer know nothing about the pickup or relationships, since the way it happened... I just never seen it coming.
I am lost for words....

Really need some help... the pain is borderline crippling

Al

Hey dude, congrats on leaving behind a woman who was holding you back. Here's how I got over breaking up with my fiance last year.

1) Make a new look. Try a new haircut, a new style, or start going to the gym. Or all three. Make a new, improved version of yourself. I actually shaved my head bald and wore it for about 7 months that way. It was pretty fun!

2) Go out! If your friends are AFCs, try making new friends. Check out local PUA lairs, or start one. Find some like minded guys and have fun. Enjoy not having to text your girlfriend constantly or having a curfew.

3) Focus on goals. Make some goals that will be tough to accomplish and occupy your time. Learn game, read classic books, or learn to play an instrument. Go to yoga or boxing classes.

4) Get back in the dating game. Use free online dating sites and meet some new girls. Even if there's no chemistry, it's nice having pretty female friends.

Good luck, hit me up if you need a pep talk or more advice.

Glade

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My mPUA pickup journal: mpua-glades-log-of-pick-up-and-life-vt99032.html

Glade,

Thank you for support! I will definitely hit the gym - heavy - to cool the nerves. Then focus on some long term goals I never realized I was putting of for "tomorrow".

Also something important hit me as well: It may take that that long to find out what that person is really made of. I'm a one-girl guy, and commitment just so happens to be on the top of the list of my core values. Perhaps 9 months was a small price to pay after all...

Still ... need to get rid of the bitterness and that pointless rage that makes you want punch things.

Advice and thoughts are always appreciated!

Al

Quit the I'm an alpha male bullshit, being rejected, especially by someone you care for is a kick in the nutsack to most of us! You can put on as much bravado and bullshit as you like, we can all be hurt.

As for getting over it, if you're normal and have feelings, time is the best healer. But getting stuck up another girl helps a shitload too! That's not bravado, that's us being male, and thankfully most males have the ability to separate feelings from sex.

So the sooner you're dipping your wick in another, the sooner you realise there's plenty of others out there to be just hung up on one!

Since I never told the full story it's not rejection to speak of. That's why it hurt as much as it did. She had to move with her family for 3 months and then went traveling. One month after she made up her mind that since the chemistry is gone, the relationship should end. The month after I got the call that it is done and over with.
What hurts the most is that I heard in her voice and the world choice that she still cared for me ... but I could not get my message across no more that I could turn back time or explain sight to the blind.
I never warned her that distance kills that fire, but it could be easily re-ignited. And she didn't want to hear it after she made a decision.
I guess what hurts the most is the sheer stupidity of the situation ... frankly I'd be less broken up if she cheated on me or found someone else...

I guess now the question becomes how can I get rid of that guilt. I'm not the one to live in the past but there is so much more I could have done...

Al