On Friday for the first time I talked to a girl who works on my floor, who’s quite hot after we’ve been making eye contact back and forth for awhile. She was quite receptive and nice, and more into me than I had expected going into the conversation. I got her phone number, though some of my conversation at the end was a little boring. I had mentioned we should get a drink after work one day which she liked, and she mentioned that it should be relaxed, and not a big deal. … I wrote a quick text shortly after getting her number, just so she had mine, but I haven’t had time to contact her since (and wasn’t in the office today)…

Thoughts on how to proceed from here? Obviously I agree with her sentiment on making it relaxed and not a big deal, but the art form lies in executing the situation so that it rolls out that way...

A general related question is how and when to contact chicks you’ve picked up from work? I have things generally down pat with meeting chicks at bars or clubs and that number is your only means of contact- either fclose/kclose/number close, then generally text the next day, and proceed right away to become a positive part of her life without being needy about it. How does that or should it change when I could conceivably swing by her desk any given day, and when we'll always be working in the same building for at least the near future?

This post is of current interest to me since Im in a very similar situation at the moment. It may seem like an ideal situation in that you get to see her a lot but it has been proving difficult for me for a number of reasons listed below. Perhaps you could try to avoid them somehow.

1. Familiarity breeds complacency. Since I see her everyday I have to be on my game a lot. This can prove difficult. Also keeping the contact to a concise minimum is key. keep the meetings short and interesting. Don´t let things get comfortable or stale.

2. Professional conduct. You don´t want to overstep the line in your workplace. It looks bad in front of your colleagues and worst case scenario could lead to dismissal. So take it outside of the workplace as soon as possible. Get her into a date situation so you can both relax and be more open. Also better for kino escalation which will not happen in the office.

3. Use your position in work for DHV. If you´re a boss or not, be professional when not talking to her. Show that you are responsible and driven when it comes to your work but fun and friendly with her.

I may have fucked up already. I asked her out for lunch, we went, it was good, IOIS etc. but then I asked her to come to my house sometime because its close-by and she said she is busy after work everyday. All is not lost but its slipping away. Dont let the same happen to you. Strike while the iron is hot. Get her out of the office pronto.

pretty much agree with chocoano has to say. DHV but be concise and interesting...Ask her out after DHV

While i think this is all good advice (especially the professional conduct), you need to amp it more subtle.

First, you need to remind that you are indeed at your workplace. Sex talk is a nono, unless you have had sex or told her you want sex with her.

So, what you want to do in a workplace is relate and connect. Times to really see and speak each other are those times you agreed to meet and talk. For example: you asked to lunch together, a walk after right after hours, etc etc. At lunch at your workplace, at all times, be professional. Even the walk after hours, shortly after hours, dont get sexual. Just wrong place.

So when you meet each other when walking down the corridors or something, put on a nice smile, say hello and continue walking. Dont be needy. Be confident that you will talk to her at the agreed time.

The connecting part. I dont really like that DHV stuff with story telling and shit, or whatever tips and tricks for DHV. Dont follow her like a dog, and let her speak. That is basically how you build rapport fast. You ask her questions about stuff you want to know about her. Be genuinely interested in her. what is she passionate about? or doesnt she really has something in her life, which would be boring :s. Does she have a lot of fantasy? Yes? well then what is the most mindblowing thing she has ever done? the most stupid thing? Dreams?

When she talks, if you can, relate to what she is saying if you can, or say you cant relate at all! tell her to explain how she feels when doing x or when seeing Y. Then think how you would feel or perhaps you have experiences of your own! Bam! Rapport!

If you have had a good time during lunch, tell her! Dont mail her afterwards, TELL HER IN HER FACE. tell her something like: "hey, you know what, i have had a good time. you are a nice/interesting/intelligent (whatever fitting) person. I like that! I want to go for a drink after hours with you". a drink, a walk, coffee, cake, whatever is fun to do and has potential to talk a lot. So no movies! Also, dont invite her at your own home right away mate .

When you have your date, you are not on the work floor. So you can openly flirt and escalate. Or just be direct, like i do. And just say: hey, i think you are really sexy and i want to have sex with you. Just escalate and calibrate. Always be respectful. dont forget, she is a colleague!

No matter what happens, be honest with yourself as well. I say this often, and i mean it. if she says that she is always busy after work hours, and you think it might be a pretext.. think again, really hard and ask yourself: If she was really into me, like really really into me, would it really be that hard to make some time for me? wouldnt she herself suggest a day then?

when you get this gut feeling things are going wrong, you are probably right. So be honest in that department and just let go.

Pff, i think that was it. I hope i made a bit of sense here. Good luck and ciao!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

Thanks for the late replies. It’s nice to see some other adults on here- sometimes I get the impression that a lot of the guys on here are high school or college aged…

With the constant opportunities for contact, a big issue is that some days I’m tired, or not feeling it. … so if I’m avoiding a certain girl/passing a certain girl up when I’m feeling off, I feel like somehow that comes through in my actions, the chick can sense it, and it’s not sexy… But then if I plow through a bad or tired mood and talk to her anyway, I lay a goose egg, and it does even more damage… The solution is just to be on everyday I guess :-/… or perhaps I’m just describing a situation with not enough comfort between us

… and chocoano, I have to agree with the criticism of asking her to come to your place as a follow up from lunch. Seems way too forward. A drink at a bar somewhere in general is the preferred follow up

I have simillar question too. The only difference is that on my floor there are no hot women but...there a lot of them in cafeteria during the lunch break. Was wondering for awhile should I just sit down next to them hmm?

I had a similar problem to this last year. I worked in an open-plan office with probably 100 employees on our floor. Out of the 100 or so employees probably 70 were male and there were two really hot women. One was on my team so connecting with her was easy due to everyone being married or a massive AFC. I saw her regularly and had a lot of fun together. My biggest problem was always the second hot girl. She worked on my floored but in a closed off section so I'd only see her if we had breaks at the same time or if we went to make drinks at the same time. We connected really well just talking about stuff like food because I used to cook my lunches which were interesting to her and she cooked too. Would try each other's food, talk about BS like how we made it. Wasn't all we discussed but was the thing we always opened each other about. The problem I always had was there were so many AFCs circling and making comments, trying to hit on the girl etc. Made asking her out or doing anything a complete nightmare. Couldn't even ask for the mobile number due to being either in the staff kitchen on social area where there were so many people around.

Due to being on different projects/teams we couldn't agree to go to lunch at the same time also due to breaks having to fit around work. In the end the only thing I could think off was registering my interest in going on a rafting trip that some of her team mates were organising. I asked for her Facebook to avoid attention from other people and told her I'd send some links to rafting rivers I knew on there. She agreed. I obviously didn't go on the rafting trip....