I'm not a 100% sure I fully understood the whole post here;
So you froze out the HB9 and then dated with her friends, and then when she appears in your peers again, she gets more attention from your friend, who she is now dating? Also, it was this friend's birthday party?
Well, friends shouldn't cockblock, but as he did, you could have still tried to game her. He didn't respect your intention, so the competition is on. You could have interrupted his attempt on escalation and building rapport by moving in while they were walking. How you should have done that, depends on the HB9's nature. Know your target, act accordingly. If she's shy (as you said) don't be too aggressive, but be straightforward and honest, definitely honest. Shy often means she's a little bit self-conscious about herself (or being a HB9 as you said, she might be playing it out) so being gentle and determined can be the right way to go.
If the two were walking away from the party, and your friend was the host, you could have used plenty of distraction for you to buy time alone with the girl. Approach the two, do some small-talk to appear neutral and friendly, then tell your friend that you heard someone was looking for him at the party. Even though no one wasn't, you misheard it then, but you might have bought yourself the time needed to play your game.
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My questions:
- Did i wait too long into asking being alone with her?
Being a blacksmith in learning (for the past two years now), we have saying that goes: "Forge while the iron is still hot!" (rough translation). Though you didn't actually describe how long you waited to escalate, or what did you try on her that you didn't win her over - You could've changed tactics. Freeze out doesn't always work, perhaps in her case it was the wrong move and/or an unnecessary move. So I can't give a direct answer to that, other than "Forge while the iron is still hot!" Spot the opportunities. Carpe diem.
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- Should i have dated her only, instead of being with her friends? (she's kinda shy)
She's shy, so as I stated, she is either a little bit (or more) self-conscious about herself or playing it out. Since it seems that dating/being with her friends didn't awaken a spark of competition in her, you should have noticed that and acted on it. Focus on the target, observe. That's why you go out with her friends in the first place - To see how she reacts. Give her all your attention, know what she likes and what she doesn't, how she reacts to the jokes her friends make, to the guy trying to hit her, to god damn everything, and then be the exception. So yes, in this case, you should have.
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- Should i prevent getting the girls involved in my friend group in the future to prevent these situations?
That's up to you. My advice would be to pick your friends more closely, be critical on who you trust and make your intentions known. Having friends means you have a social life, means your normal. You can use stable peers to your advantage when it comes to winning someone over. And women, oh women are social creatures who enjoy social interactions, and your friends are a part of your life, a life your future partner is hopefully interested in at some level.
I hope that my post was helpful and devoid of huge misunderstanding. :)
P.s Move on.