Yeah I've already set up a date with chick #2 for this friday, I've already done her so I know I'll be laying her again.

At this point this is what I'm doing. I'm going to meet with her tomorrow, tell her that she can't just decide what's the best for both of us. Tell her that she can take all the time she needs we've broken up and I'm going to say that I do care for her but that I have needs and I can't help myself talking and meeting other girls so if she eventually decides to come back by that point I might not be available. I'm going to tell her that I won't cut off contact but that the title "friend" won't be applying to us either.

If she goes back to her ex then she really is a stupid bitch.

I found out today that she's been crying all day yesterday and today and she didn't even go to work today. I've been ignoring her text messages and called her today to tell her to meet me at this place tomorrow at 8:30, talked to her really dry and indifferent though and pretty much hung up on her face.

Just read through her text again.

Your next step will be to delete her number and every text from your phone. This way the only way you stay in contact is if she initiates it. And if she does it's an IOI. Fuck that LJBF speech.

When she does contact you don't be mean or upset (unreactive remember), be the fun you. If she asks you why you aren't contacting her, you be honest but uplofted. Tell her that you've moved on and that she was COMPLETELY right, but you can't stay friends because she is too hot and sexy and that you're turned on every time you see her or hear her voice. This shows you have no intention of staying just friends and if she wants to stay in contact she's gonna have to screw you.

EDIT: I didn't see your last post. But good job. After the meeting do the above if she doesn't kiss you right then and there. So, DO NOT BE UPSET, be non reactive. Treat her like just some acquaintance. Don't tell her all the "I still care for you" stuff! No no no. You must stay grounded in your intent. It's either all or nothing. Tell her she is completely right, say you also didn't think it was working (regain the frame, now you're dumping her) for whatever reason. Fuck her. That text still makes me sick.

^excellent advice.

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Thanks for the advice I will do this exactly.

Just as an update, she sent me a text out of nowhere today saying "thinking of you x". I replied "is everything ok" cause she wrote some depressed status on facebook. She then replied yea all good, then an hour later called me, we talked for a bit. She says she feels like I'm being cold towards her and she still feels like shit. She also told me she's been wanting to call me all day and that she misses my voice and talking to me. I didn't reciprocate any of her words of affection.
We talked about the issue for a bit and she pretty much said that she feels broken and she needs to fix herself up and when she's ready and if I'm still available then she would like to start again and that it would make her the happiest girl in the world. She said she doesn't expect for me to be waiting for her.
I sort of screwed up a bit and said that I am going to start talking to other girls, she got angry and said that I just showed everything that I needed to show and wanted to hang up. I told her to just listen to me and explained that what I meant is that I do care for her but I can't wait for ever. I sort of kept trying to talk and prove that I did still care so definitely fucked up there.

Anyway yeah definitely need to get my frame back by following the advice you guys gave me.

Good luck with it man - but following the latest convresation it may be best to just move on completely. You really don't need that shit. I think we are all here to learn how to attract girls of real quality - that doesn't just mean quality looks, she has to be quality emotionally too.

Too much has gone in, she is playing head games whether she means to or not (I think she knows what she is doing tbh), its time just to cut loose and move on. Probably worth not initiating any contact and then when she gets in touch just say that she was right, it isnt fair on you and that you should both move on.

I've been down this road too so I know what you mean, and looking back I tried to hard to cling on to stuff as I thought I really liked the girl. In reality, its just because there was nothing better in my life. Think about it like that. If you had a girl who blew this one out the water, you wouldn't give this one a second thought. Move on from her and focus your energy on finding something better.

Good luck and keep us updated.

Watch out now, very carefully. You are treading into nice guy zone here. Don't. Ask yourself this: does she deserve your kindness? Has she given you any here (respect wise)? I'm not talking about her kindness being "I'm sorry, blabla" I'm talking about forewarning you this would happen, being honest with you from the start? Only you know this.

You have "reeled" her in or pulled with your "I care for you" stuff, now push with no contact.

Read these next words carefully:

THIS IS ONLY AS BIG OF A DEAL TO YOU AS YOU MAKE IT OUT TO BE.

It may be a huge deal for her. And it should be. But for you: IT MUST BE LESS OF A DEAL OR NO DEAL AT ALL (WHY? YOU'VE GOT OTHER GIRLS WAITING TO SCREW YOU!) THIS IS HER LOSS.

Now, as said, don't be mean or any of that shit. You just be like this is ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM TO YOU, be happy and genuine. She is the one that should feel like shit for treating you like this.

Let her text you, call you, etc. Pick up once in a while, but say you're busy (hopefully it's genuine, because she WILL think you're avoiding her, so the more genuine are in your excuse the better).

You should not have said you are going to see other girls. Her reaction proved that. You don't TALK about other girls, you assume it, it's within you and your behavior. Don't mention that again. If she brings it up, you say it's not important and not relevant (because it isn't, why should you tell her what's going on in your life? Especially other girls, since you guys are not together.)

You must care less than she does. And it seems like you do. Which is good. When you confront her (IF) remember to remain calm. You are not her shoulder to cry on, you are not her close friend, you are a SEXUAL CANDIDATE and that's that.

Also, do not buy into her reeling words of "If you're still available when I'm fixed I'd be glad to have you." This is her speaking from deep emotion in the moment. You know when you did something bad, you cry and you say "I'm sorry, I'll do anything for you," and one week later it's as if you never said that? Same here. Don't hold onto these words she says.

She sure is putting a lot of effort into keeping you around. Too much just to keep you as an orbiter or I the fz. There's something else going on here. Why is she putting so much work into keeping you around? The language of her texts are saying something else and I have an idea.
When she sais she liked someone else, I think she fucked that guy and either he gave her an std or she got knocked up and terminated it. Go back and reread her texts. That's what it says to me.

Good luck!

Actually now that you mention it, (I should of said this earlier) she has told me before that she is still broken down from her last relationship and still hurting and that she still cried about it sometimes. I knew from other people too, how bad her last relationship was. She only told me this though after about a month of us being together I became a bit more distant after this but I should of broke off things right then and there, gave it time thinking she might get better and forget about it as she was with me. She has been honest with me for the most part to be fair, now I realise this relationship was always destined to fail with her emotional state at this point in time. Guess I just needed other people to open my eyes.

I'm certain there's no other guy, and she told her ex that she doesn't want to ever speak to him again. So I guess she's still hung up on all that first love bullshit. This whole thing is my fault to be honest should of been able to screen better that she was emotionally unstable. Oh well fuck it I'll take it as a lesson.

Anyway I'm still thinking of meeting up with her today being honest and blunt with her and just telling her she was right it wasn't gonna work like this, I should have seen it coming and break things off officially on as good of terms as possible, I'm gonna tell her I won't close the door on her but by the time she decides to come back I might not be available and then just leave her hot by by telling her I can't be friends because she's too hot and sexy and everytime I see her or talk to her I get turned on hopefully this will be enough to make her realise like you said that I'm a sexual candidate and not just a shoulder cry on. Then just calmly and not giving a fuck walk away. Do you think this would be the right way of going about it?

A few things here:

Firstly, yes this girl is emotional. This girl is hurt. This girl is still grieving.

BUT it is NOT YOUR DUTY to deal with that. Sounds harsh. But why should it be your duty? Why should you be there to make her feel better about a thing that has passed?

Now, you can still get this girl. Before I go on, make sure you are gaming other girls (I know you are, just continue to do so).

If you wanna see how good your game is and get this girl, do the following:

As said in my last post, DO NOT MENTION you will see other girls. Don't say that. Don't say the door will still be open. Don't mention ANY OF IT. It would be great if you meetup and NOT FOCUS on what has happened. Like when you get to her place, tell her as soon as you walk in, "I have to show you this youtube video". And then proceed. Don't bring any of it up. She will.

Trust me, she most likely will. THIS is when you tell her you can't be friends. Say it with a simle, an uplifting attitude. IT's a fucking compliment. She's too sexy. Then she will say shit like "Yeah, but I told you, I need time." Treat it like a shit test. She wants you deep inside. How do you know? She wants to stay in contact. She's texted you, called you. You KNOW she wants you. Anything she does here is just not confronting the elephant in the room. But you DO NOT bring it up. Don't say "I know you want me". This needs to be in your behavior.

You must follow this advice. This is NOT A BIG DEAL to you. If you bring it up, it shows you care. If your attitude stays congruent with it not being a big deal, she will call you out, or be phased by your indifferent attitude. She may even confront it, saying something like "Aren't you upset?" Because she will think that she doesn't mean much to you. DON'T REACT. "Upset about what?" is your best answer in such a scenario. Remember, you got other chicks. Is SHE going to phase you? Nope. She thought she would but she doesn't.

Again, don't be mean. Be cool. Absolutely cool. And genuine and uplifting. This will then set the tone for future interactions, when she heals. She might find your interaction today awkward or weird, but in the future she will thank you and possibly come back.

Your biggest asset here is your mindset. Treat her like an acquaintance. Have stuff ready to show her on YouTube, or something COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT to what happened. You will feel the awkward tension. Embrace it. You are cool with it. She isn't.

Also be sure to leave before she kicks you out. Say something like, "I actually have to bounce, meeting with X. Nice talking to you!" All in good spirit. Never show you are emotionally affected.

Good luck bro! Report back.

I'll throw in my 2 cents

This is exactly what I went through a couple of years ago. Every senario is the same! I'll tell you how mine planned out...

Firstly the reason she has done this IS her ex! I can say that with 100% confidence. Either he is

1: in contact with her messing her head up
2: banging her
3: she's found out he has moved on an met a new girl

Basically something is triggering her emotions! Ask her straight up tomorrow what is causing this drama? She probably won't answer.

When I recieved the "im not good enough for you, we should break up" I fought and went a bit AFC as I was pissed off! I told her that if she liked me why the fuck are we ending! She just kept on saying that she's not good enough for me.

I stopped texting that day and I'd told her a couple of times before that I don't normally remain in contact with an ex.

A few days later she texted me "I know you don't text ex's but I want to know if your ok"

I waited a day and gave a genuine response "I really don't know what to say! I've a date this weekend so I'm just trying to move on"

She replied saying "cool, I'm glad you can move on!

She texted me after the date and told me she loved me and has never felt this way and didn't realise until I'd gone!

So I made her work but we got back!




What I later learned. She was having drama with her abusive ex! I dumped her two months later due to a bad gut feeling! The same day her relationship status on FB was with her ex!

Tread carefully!


If I found myself in the same situation again I'd tell the girl that I don't want to get hurt and what your doing is hurting me. Your still in love with your ex if he still has this hold on your emotions then I agree that a break up makes the most sense.

I'd also say that I can't be in contact as texting hoping you change will be not a nice experience. No contact will help me move on ASAP as I know what I want in my life and it doesn't involve ex drama.

What I've said might sound tough but it helps you and dont forget that she created this situation so she needs to be the one to make it better.

I disagree here with TELLING her all this. Why would he need to tell her that he's moving on. Just the mere fact that he IS moving on is enough. The fact that he is indifferent to any of this would show that this is no big deal for him. That he doesn't care. Saying "I can't be in contact...no contact will help me move on" the "move on" bit suggests that he has feelings for her. This would be an AFC move in my opinion.

I agree she must fix this situation. But not reacting to any of it from his part would be the best move IMO.

I was just going by what worked for me! Though it was a short lived victory because she still wasn't over the ex!

If the op can work out why her emotions have suddenly heightened and it's not because she's been with her ex then I'd say it might work out ok. If it's because she's been meeting her ex then I'd do a runner

This for sure, I know that he sends her texts she showed me a couple and he's been saying shit like "so it's like we never existed". He's been in a new relationship for a few months now. But he even sent her a text saying he's been thinking about her and that bullshit. She doesn't reply or talk to him though. She might be thinking about doing it now though.

Anyway it doesn't make a difference to me any more. I'm meeting up with her today, I'll just be my normal happy self and be indifferent to the situation I'm not even gonna mention anything and if she does then I'll just handle whatever she throws at me. My main goal for now is just to make the break up official on my terms and make her truly believe that if she wants to keep me in her life then she's gonna have to work hard for it.

Time for some updates fellas! long post lol

Ok so this is how the meeting went down..
I picked her up from her place and we went to a park near by to talk. I was in a good mood and smiling the whole time. We talked about some irrelevant bullshit and I was making her laugh the whole time pretty much. I got a cold also and she kept asking me if I'm alright and touching me and she was being playful trying to so a lot IOI's from her.

She then asked me what I wanted to talk about and I told her that she was completely right and that the way things were going they were never going to work out. I told her that she was clearly still hung up on the past and that we were both in different pages. She started saying how it was unfair on me that she was upset about something else and how she was bringing me into it and that it was something she had to get over by herself without involving other people. She said that it was unfair how she was getting angry at me for small things like not texting her, or taking long to reply to her text and then sending her a playful text. I told her with a smile on my face the whole time, that it was starting to get to me and that I was already thinking of breaking things off. But that yeah the best thing we could do now is break up. She also said that she feels like I don't care and that she didn't mean much to me.

She then said she would still like to keep in contact with me and I told her that I can't put the title of friends over us because I'm attracted and she's sexy and hot so whenever I see or hear her I'm still turned on, she said she felt the same way and that she didn't want us to be friends but that she didn't want me to be the type of ex that she couldn't talk to or say hi to in person or something. I then told her that I can't just be something that's on the side.

We then started talking about some other stuff, we're both going to the same party on saturday and she was saying how she's going to be drunk and if she sees me she might be all over me or sook to her friend about me. I told her we'll just have to see what happens, again said it with a smile. I should have left then but I stayed a bit more and she said something like she was excited to see me but at the same time not excited and I was a bit dry by this point and just said makes sense in a bit of a sarcastic way, she got a bit pissed and I asked what she meant by not excited at the same time and she said cause she was going to miss me. I then teased her about a personal joke a bit about what might happen on saturday and she got angry as well and said that it's like she doesn't even know me any more and that she wanted to leave. I took her home and she said so I'll see you on saturday? I just said I'll try to come past. She then gave me a kiss on the cheek and said take care.

Again I was in a good mood the whole time and when I got home she sent me a text saying:
"Thanks for coming all the way here to tell me, you were gonna end things anyways.
Take care."
Should I reply to this?

Anyway at this point I don't know if there is much chance of this girl coming back to me but my next step will be to keep gaming other girls, see what happens on saturday and go from there moving on and if she comes back we'll see what happens.

Learn to cut and leave.

You drug it out WAY too long.

Think about it this way: How do you expect her to miss you if you're still there?

Once you make the decision to end it - cut it then.


RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.