Gentlemen.

I'm in a serious bad situation with my ex-wife. Yeah oneitis is bad, yeah I shouldn't fixate and I am in fact not now but hear me out till the end of my epic AFC story that should serve as a warning for all oneitis to come for all time but that's not the total point of this post.

I considered this woman the love of my life for ten years. Only problem with her is she had constant medical issues to where I'm running in and out of the hospital day and night. Otherwise perfect for me in every way. However the medical turned into 9 operations and multiple trips to the ER per day sometimes, countless appointments, flying her back and forth east to west coast for surgeries etc etc.

She had some real issues, and issues in her head, and issues with addiction to painkillers, who knows where it stops and everything else starts. It began with hey I'll get you fixed up, things will be great and ...things never got fixed or consistently good, we had some wild times like threeways etc because she's bi and adventurous...her issues are only partially debilitating when she's having a bad episode and you wouldn't know anything to look at her smokin' HB9 etc. She could never work, could never drive mainly due to painkillers, barely contributed around the house, I'm the daddy and she's the child basically.

So in the end, I'm all in defense mode dealing with the bills, the medical, the frustration..spiritually drained from this...not doing shit for her relationship wise I'll be honest here... and she hooks up with some dude online and after a week she's in love and won't drop him.

There's ten years of my commitment against this keep in mind where I did nothing but try to ensure her health and well being and happiness..she's talking to this guy on the computer right in front of me, expecting me to just play the bitch and I get drunk, angry, she gets scared and I spend a night in jail because she calls the cops 'to have a record'. I would have left earlier and avoided my loss of control..only time I've ever had a brush with the law in my entire life for anything beyond a speeding ticket...but she's fucking helpless without me in this isolated area in the country we live in so us being right on top of each other helped things dissolve.

I had her sign the divorce as soon as I learned of the guy and she didn't press charges and has signed waivers on both the settlement and the charges so I should be fine there but I've been pretty thoroughly betrayed on all counts.

Now I'm dealing with her texts because I flew her out to her mother's in another state. I'm basically interested in using game to defend against her bull..straw man the kid she's with also that moved in on my marriage perhaps...she marginally acts like she cares if I'm going to court or whatever but I'm pretty sure it's just a pretext to hit me up for money usually She mouths the words I love you but they don't mean anything coming from her.

I don't even want her back..she's a succubus from Hell and nothing but trouble obviously but I just want to reclaim some of my fucking manhood and defend against the volatile situation I'm in with regards to court and finances which is where I'm interested in using game and getting advice from this forum.

I am in fact using regular game on the side and starting to have success with other women. I'm in fact dating the last girl we had a threeway with still. (Which my wife pretended to be totally ok with and then turned around on both of us later, which also pissed our female friend off..probably never would have started on threeways in the first place if my wife didn't have sexual issues from the medical as well)

I'm putting off her asking if I'm ok right this second.. have been putting off her last two text for days...she's asking about my upcoming trial etc and I don't think she has a right to know anymore. I'm thinking of just countering and ignoring it when she asks how I'm doing and just ask her something about money she has some of my account pws and such..trivial to me but I could use em. Maybe if she says why don't you tell me how you're doing just counter with let's just stick to finance. I have to keep paying her per my lawyer until I can get past separation dates.

Right now my plan is to keep all interactions to finance but I'm not sure what to do if she rages about that...keep in mind she can lawyer up, and increase alimony on me and perhaps get me thrown in jail by pressing charges. Input of any kind is welcomed but please no flames or trolls. I'm paying a far worse price than anyone can imagine in my life right now and flaming me here is just like a laughable teacup of water on my head while I'm drowning. I could probably cut off my own arm and not feel much...which surprisingly helps with regular game...no pain of rejection is worse than what I've dealt with already you see.

obviously there is always more to a story then what is in black and white, but if some girl calls the police on you just for ''getting mad'', call a lawyer when the police are on the scene, even if it is your wife, do it ''just to have a record'' with proper legal counsil present, if you have done nothing illegal, you don't deserve to be treated as a criminal

as for the relationship between you and her, you have already got an idea of how you want to handle this, you want to cut her out of your life and seperate your finances from her, seperate yourself emotionally from her and distance yourself so that you can carry on with your life, that is all fine for you, go for what you want, you will move your life in your own direction

but you might want to consider forgiving her, this doesn't mean you have to accept her into your life or start being her chummy little buddy or anything, but let her go, let your life go in seperate directions, start a new, move on, forget about getting one over on her, forget about outdoing her or causing her some sort of suffering to repay the way she has made you feel, just let it go, forgive her so that you don't have to feel so violated and angry towards her anymore, she isn't your problem anymore and she probably did not intend for things to turn out this way, they just did, just accept what has happened, let it go, it will all be ok, just forget her, and move on with your life, everything will be ok and what has happened has already happened, sever the bond that holds you together and offer forgiveness

sometimes it is really tough to let someone go that you are emotionally attached/invested in and care for, but when they are becomming a problem in your life there is not much other choice, I know all to well how depressing this can be, it is tough, but if you can just forgive them and move on, things will be alright, life will go on, you can be just as happy if not more happy without them

GOOD LUCK

Yeah thanks for the reminder about forgiveness. I need to do that for my own sake. It's tough because I'm of two minds with it in that I want to forgive her but that it also makes me more of a doormat in a way. I'm still better without the burden and as long as I'm forgiving her for my own sake and not to win her back or some crap I think I can do that and still keep my self-respect.

Just trying to maintain until my court dates are over, every little request from her for money or whatever makes me a little nuts but it gets easier each time to ignore and with gym, a lot of music, and even pua as a kind of meditation....yeah that's how I actually have AA in the negatives now, it's actually calming/ego boost/ feeling free of my chains to be talking to an attractive girl who is not all screwed up.

Thanks for the kind words brother.