God, I've been talking to this chick for like, almost half a year now. She's really fuckin cute and amazing, we get along almost perfectly. I haven't really thought of a girl this much since i masturbated to whatsherface from Transformers. But yeah, she's like, almost everything to me. She's had a lot of douche bags in her life, but i've always been there for a shoulder for her to cry on. Apparently being nice gets you a slap on the face. But I still care about her a lot, and want to be next to her all the time. Also cause she has a really nice body, and I'm always staring at it. Fuck, I got home and i can't jack off to anything except her facebook photos. It's insane, but i LOVE it. Over the past few weeks, she seems to be a bit more touchy feely on me, and i'll admit, i really liked it. That happened for a while until just yesterday when she started talking about getting a sex change, and how women were cute. She even started flirting with her best friend who's actually dating another guy! Everyone's freaking out about it, and I want to change that. Any tips to help?

hey bro, sounds like you have a case of ONE-ITIS! There are like, literally dozens of other women in the world, and they all have these awesome vaginas you can do stuff to. It's intense. So yeah. Let dat bitch be a bitch and go jonesin' on the other bitches. You got better stuff to do.

But hey. Maybe if you're real cool to her through all this stuff, she'll let you watch. Bitch on bitch action is incredible. When they get all hot and heavy on each other, you better believe they're gonna wish they had a big slab of meat to make them feel good. And that's where you come in. Everyone knows lesbians are all envious of the dick. It's why gay guys turn gay. Dick. Is. Awesome. They're gonna need it, home boy, and you gotta deliver.

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Bitches be linin up for a taste of my MeatStabSupreme

There is really not much you can or should do. There is no point in trying to

change her mind about anything.

It seems to me you are in the friend zone. You probably had a good chance with

her when you met her but you waited so long to make a move that you shot your

self in the foot.

Its not late!

Theres one thing you can do.

Ask her if she wants to be with you or if she wants to make out.

If she says no- good. You know where you stand. If she says yes...?

And if you dont ask her you will wonder for the rest of your life what coul have

been. Theres really only one good thing to do: try- ask.

... Damn, that would be nice. But no dawg, like, she's really getting serious about this sex change! She just changed her status on facebook that she was looking to make some money so she can get it done! It won't be bitch on bitch if she has a dick! And I don't want her dick up my ass, I want my dick in her! Not her ass, but in her vagina, but i can't do that with some giant 13 inch shlong she's looking for! Shit around my dick is no amusing!


Now to the other person... I would ask, but i'm really nervous! I mean, all this talk about how awesome it would be for her to play with her own balls is 'kinda stressing me out.

hey, I gotta stop you there, guy. Anal sex is awesome. shit on your dick is a small price to pay for making a bitch holler like a howler monkey while she milks your dick like it's going out of style. Don't knock it til you try it, man.

As for being friend zoned, maybe. But you can always change that. Show her you're interested, bold, confident and most importantly, show her just how fun it is to be straight. Grab her, kiss her hard, and if she does anything but slap you, she's into it. Keep us posted, bro, I wanna know how this plays out.

Also, the bitch from transformers was fucking hot. Good taste, cuz.

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Bitches be linin up for a taste of my MeatStabSupreme

I know you are nerwous but thats comfidence. When you make a move and there

is a good chance she will reject you. If she does reject you you will sleep better at

night because youll know you tryed and the next time you meet a hot girl you

wont wait, youll make a move and you will never ever again end up in a friend

zone.

friend zone is the worst. But there are always ways to break out of it. Namely involving your dick, some boldness, and more of your dick. Show her you're interested. Make her feel special, then make her feel goooood.

What can you lose by trying? A "friend"? Yeah right. If she was your friend, she'd want to make you happy. She probably thinks you're gay.

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Bitches be linin up for a taste of my MeatStabSupreme

You have lost track of your masculinity. Hence, you're running from pillar to post seeking some sort of 'magic fix' that would get you into her pants.

It doesn't exist.
Well, that's not a bad thing to do, at all. But, where is the part where you show some intent towards her. Your actions and words should be firmly in alignment with two primary objectives :

* You are interested in her. And not satisfied with just being friends with her.

* You are different from the status quo i.e. the array of 'douche bags' that she has been with all her life.

If she is as stunning as you described her to be, she is not going to be waiting for you to finally meet her in some perfect moment, you have to take your chance and take it quickly.

Also, her whole talk of 'sex change' is just a temporary phase where she's just milking the next big concept that keeps her in the spotlight for just a little while longer as she has nothing else going on in her life, which can. Do not worry so much about it.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "