Redhead I've been seeing off & on. Comes over for "dinner and a movie" (translated: she likes to fuck).

We go upstairs, and get western for quite some time... Then in the after-cuddling,

Her: Am I your girlfriend now?
Me: I told you I don't like titles. I'm not a boy, I'm a man. I'm in to you - and you know that.
Her: The reason I ask is that I'm 48, and I want to plan for my future. There's this other guy I dated a while back who wants get serious, so I wanted to know if you did.....
Me: Let me stop you right there. There is no competition, and there should be no doubt. I should have never even heard about this dude if he didn't matter to you.
Her: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you insecure...
Me: Whoa, seriously... look at this... (I showed her 3 texts from chicks within the past 2 days, 2 sent nude pics - I deleted where I responded...) See this? I have women interested in me. I can call and fuck someone else right now. I choose to be with you. These chicks - they don't fucking matter. That dude - matters or you wouldn't have brought him up. So let's just fast forward to how this ends... I don't compete.
her: you don't have to compete
Me: The very premise of your statement was conditional. If option A doesn't happen then Option B does - right?
her: Right.
Me: So - by definition - you just agreed that it was a statement inciting competition. I'm done. I'm already the fucking prize. I already told you I was in to you and that I didn't NEED titles to confirm that. Alright, come on...(I get dressed).
Her: You're kicking me out?
Me: No, I'm asking you politely to leave my home and contact me when I'm the only man you think about.... maybe I'll be available as well.

Done.


I'm torn. I seriously got pissed - I don't like bullshit and felt I needed to go strong - but I love fucking her, and she was cool as hell... Fucking women!



But - on the PUA-side... If you ever want to make an exit from a chick, you can turn any situation into a moral deal-breaker with a little finesse and word-smithing... And yes, I DO talk like that in person...I'm good with words - always have been. This just happened less than an hour ago.


RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

man u inspire me... your frame is so strong and your game is so solid.

You are probably posting this because she said u're insecure and u feel a bit bad.

You shouldn't you did everything like a man should deal with

RR are you really into this girl or where you just giving her a guilt trip? If you are really into this girl then your strong words and frame will be very effective, if you were just giving her a guilt trip and have no intentions on committing to a relationship with her it could end in a mess.

I've done something very similar in the past almost word for word ( lol) with a girl I loved fucking and would call her every so often for sex. I had no intentions to get serious with her and we had a mutual understanding, but she tried to play the same card, I just reacted rather then thinking and basically did the same thing you did except I was the one that left her place. The irony of it all is that it wasn't the first time she did it, but it was the first time I reacted like that. ( all other times I just deflected or made jokes about it all)


Within the next few days, she started to message me over and over saying that she told the other guy to get lost and was all mine, although I felt empowered that she chose me, it quickly sunk in that I didn't want to get serious with her.

Because of my strong comments, she had thought she finally got me and was relentless, she became very different, her demeanor went from taking what she could get from me to acting as though I owed her attention and time, what once was a great sexual/casual relationship soon became an uncomfortable dilemma.

She became very dramatic and needy, as well as somewhat stalk-y. She started showing up at my house from time to time and talking to my friends about me as well. I soon had to confront her and tell her what was up and that her new behavior was overwhelming and that I could not deal with it. We talked about it for hours and I thought I had her back to being just casual with me but even the sex was different. I had sex with her 2 more times and it wasn't even close to as good as before. Before all of that we had a great rapport, that was gone. We soon parted ways and never spoke again.

We had been having sex on and off for years and had a solid friendship.

_________________
Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

I'm not big on committed relationships. I make no premise about it. I explain this up front - NO secrets about it. I do this JUST to save drama LIKE this...

That said, I liked this chick. We clicked.

I was kinda shocked at my reaction as well...haven't fully come to terms with it.

Still hurts, but I still don't like the entire situation. She also stated during the discussion that she knew this about the dude this past weekend. She came over just last night for a couple of hours JUST to sleep with me.... I asked why she didn't say anything then... she had no answer, saying she was just horny. Common sense - if this was a big deal, that she HAD to talk to me about, like she said today... she would have mentioned it last night. I didn't call it out. I didn't feel I needed to... She's smart - she knew; it didn't add up.

Then she eluded to thinking last week that I would never call her again, which when I tried to find out what that meant she admitted it was her own insecurity about the other guy contacting her.

I explained - we'd had 4 lunches, 2 dinners, a movie, walks on the beach, she spent the night and 2 trips to the beach in less than a month... what else could I have done to show her I was in to her?

The whole vibe hit me the wrong way. I trust my judgement on most occasions... maybe I fucked up - but I don't like it when every turn of the conversation brings up a different path... it gets ... strange.

Damn.


RR


Edit: When I boil it down... It pissed me off when I heard "Either you're going to be my boyfriend, or this other guy will...". I don't play that.

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

i don't do it like this if there is another dude( i am not reactive) i just ask if she likes him(like happy for her), where is the relationship going,( i am really interested about his game and what he does right or wrong)... Anyways, your behavior is very similar to mine(but i do it planned overreact kind of a push pull) when she is into me though(a close deal and not other dude), but i just don't get the jealousy frame to end... That usually backfires with the guilt trip and she will want to make it up to you, i don't get it(that is what i do it with close deals).. In other words if you are into her(you do not react) you actually encourage her to be with the other dude... If you want to get rid of her, you just spend less time with her, guilt trip could backfire, the jealousy and overreaction may be a turn off(even if there are other girls, it looks like the other girls you show cause she got to you)..

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Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

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http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

As usual, Hobbit is right.

As perpetual playboys, we often start to think that we can absolve ourselves of drama by being upfront and honest about our desire to avoid anything serious, but the truth is we're basically saying, "Be with me this way or don't be with me."

Sometimes women agree to the proposal because they admire our candor. Sometimes it's because they think they can leverage us into something more at a later date. Sometimes they genuinely just want to get laid. But in all cases, we assume that because they've agreed to our conditions, we are immune from the type of hurt feelings that generally arise when one party wants more than the other.

This particular lady may not have said it the same way or with as much tact, but when you boil her statement down to the subtext, she was basically trying to communicate the same thing you were. That her version of "be with me this way" was completely contrary to yours doesn't change the fact that both statements reflect the same basic paradigm. You were both saying, "Here's what I have to offer. Take it or leave it."

Is her version of that speech any less relevant or heartfelt simply because she delivered it post-coitus and involved comparing you to another guy? The very notion is ridiculous, but that's what your reaction implied.

I'm not sure I'd have asked her to leave, and I definitely wouldn't have showed her text messages from other women. Those things just aren't my style. But if you don't think you can give this chick what she wants, I think you did the right thing by ending contact.

The question is, what are you gonna do when she calls a week or two from now claiming to have had a change of heart? When she says she doesn't care if you ever become her boyfriend; she just wants to be with you? When she says she's accepted your predisposition and wants to come over?

Are you gonna believe that shit? Or are you gonna invite her back over to your place, knowing that there's a 90 percent chance she hasn't genuinely changed at all, and go with the flow until her true beliefs surface once again and another shitstorm of drama ensues?

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

i dont react to that sort of shit. if anything, i say "good for you".

but i fucking hate it when chicks bring up other guys in front of me. if she's so fucking unsure of her appeal that she feels like she needs to do this to get my attention, i don't wanna know her anyway. and i do wanna kick them out every time they do that, so i get where you're coming from.

i just choose to not react. it keeps me calm. this kind of shit gets me aggressive if i react to it.

Comrade!!! Wellcome to Russia! We drink vodka, play the accordion and the balalaika, to hunt for bears! It's cold, we just really, a lot of snow has fallen! Real men in Russia be friends with a glass and accordion. Walks with a bottle of vodka in his pocket for the transitions and the subway. Play the accordion, and pretend to be crippled asking for money for a bottle. Humpback, fat-, smelly, bald and bearded - that's is Real Men. The main object of pride with this guy is a smelly bag in the front, so that all men admire and are proud of. This is how!

why would you do something like that? please don't do that. it's disruptive.

I'm not a guy to bring the drama and let it ride.


Giving guilt trips won't mean shit - and I'll always look like a tool. I simply closed set and called it. I didn't want to save it.

Was I right? I can debate it all I want, and I appreciate the opinions - truly. I'm not here to tout how cool it was, or how wrong it was, or even how right. It just happened.... I'm adament about not wanting a committed relationship. I TOLD her about 2 ex- GF's BOTH wanting rings in under 6 weeks, and my desire NOT to even discuss feelings or emotions for at least 6 weeks... Yeah, I'm seeing how friggin' commitment-phobic I am; but I'm also direct about that up front... Most have always wanted to be the girl to 'change' me... The entire demeanor of last night just set me off... Maybe it was self-sabotage to purposely NOT continue it, or I hit the fight/flight moment and chose to close. I'm still debating it - but this time, I wanted to put ALL the info up front and out in the open - that's my best way to fully analyze this after-the-fact.

I'm a voracious learner - I enjoy other's opinions. It only helps me in the future... Opinions are welcomed and appreciated.


RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

If i really loved the women all buttons of my hearth
i would have done the same thing you did because
of the pain she's telling. I understand that you
you dont want her to mention the other boy for you.

But all that matters is that she's starting to get old
for a real relationship with someone, so she wants
it asap, right now. By these words you said to her
it probably made her very sad i can imagine.

You dont wanna commit a real relationship
of course she was insecure that night and was
honest and straightforward on what she wants.

Think about her age, and then think about
what she told you that night this happened.

Where we are as primates, we are also Men, humans, with emotions. As much as we hate to admit that sometimes. With each conquest there is some degree of emotional investment on both sides. At times that investment is greater than at others, ESPECIALLY when things "click". That makes the "good by" that much harder. But when you choose this lifestyle, there is ALWAYS going to be good by's. And that is the hardest part of any relationship no matter how brief.

I've always been told the goal of this lifestyle we call "PUA" is to always leave them better than you found them!

From what I gather here, you had great times together, is that not better? I think yes!
She has the memory of "the best sex she has had in years", is that not better, again YES!

If you choose to continue your life style, the good by was inevitable, that does not make it any less of an experience. The two things you cannot take back are time, and memories.

She has that, and both have made their choice.

Each time there will either be a "clinger" or an ultimatum, so each time there will be an END!

Your decision was on point.... forge on!

Good luck!

Heywood

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

^ All of that behavior, actually makes women even more attracted, and you are now a CHALLENGE to them, so they will want to convert you...It also make women psychos and stalkers...Sometimes the goal to be the one is so strong...

_________________
Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
http://www.dancefloorseduction.com

Dancefloor/Club game youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/dancefloorseduction

the more i think about this, the more i think it was cool man. you told her to fuck off. that's, in my opinion, one of the most important lessons in life. not being afraid to tell someone to fuck off. sometimes it feels so good to do that, no matter if it's right or wrong. so i got your back on this bro. and thanks for sharing a intimate moment. most people don't discuss emotions. it sucks, because as a community, i think that's a big part of what we do, evoke and manage emotions.

I think you handled it fine...The question is not what any of us thinks, but rather how you are "truly" feeling about this ordeal!? I sense that you may have had a bit more feelings for this girl than even you knew and now those feelings are causing some side effects. Either way Bro, we are here to throw rocks at you as needed!

Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood