"Through the sweating, shaking and stuttered speach, I stopped the surprised 40+ Chinese lady for 0.7 seconds before she made an awkward run to the exit."


4 months later.

Transformations

"Goundy, is that you?"

I changed.
Starting in reverse chronological order, I'll share my adventures in limited details and expand on them in future posts. Current girlfriend is 31 year old georgous Japanese woman, last girlfriend about 4 weeks ago was a 30 year old Japanese woman, ex model with a husband back home, madeout with 6 chicks in a single outting, guy strangled me, angry parents, married girls, knives, police, kicked out of clubs, caught by parents, drunks, internal fights, stalkers, parties, punches, screams, nearly raped by some abbo chick, awkward situations and phone bursting with contact details of females. Just normal average 18 year old guy. Also met a great bunch of friends through this who are like my additional family who share these crazy fucking adventures with me.


Hi, you found me.


Introduction
I know the title sounds like an egotisictal pride wank, but I think its a
pretty catchy, and people will want to see a little kid pimp it with
girls up to twice his age. As the name of the title suggests, this is my story. A story of an average young man, discovering the infinite world of the lucrative society of the very fringe, "Pick up Artists" (Queue cringe).

An entire world worshipped by few and unknown by many; the Pickup community it is the sole source of 'advice' on courting 'warm holes' as I like to call it. Freud understood that the most influencing human motivation is the sex drive. To the common man, it dictates what car you drive, where you work, how successful you want to be, who you hang out with and so on and so forth. Everything action you have taken in your life has been shaped and mouled by your drive to attract females. Does this not bother you? It should. There are 3.5 Billion males on the planet and I doubt more than a few have asked "Whats the point of life", "why am I running around living a benign consumer lifestyle etc. The very idea that there are not 3.5 billion men running around picking up woman on the street baffles me more than the fact that there aren't. There working 40 hours a week so they can show 'Julie' from the sales department there new watch or getting jacked in the gym to make sure the female population are aware of your enormous bulk; thats fucking weird to me. Self development is great, but the underlying factor of most peoples desire to improve themselves is caught up in trying to impress others; mainly 'warm holes'.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky
Without further adue, my story. As stated before, I'm average. Average man, average life. Average family, average job. Average height, average weight.

Begginings
I turned 18 in march this year, I live with my parents in the Northern Suburbs of Sydney, I don't go to university and I work at Hungry Jacks. Now before I tell you more about my self, I cannot emphasize the fact that I'm normal.

I was exposed to the community about 2 years ago. It didn't mean anything to me. I read "The Game" but it didn't really have any impact on me. Around the time I finished school, I lost most of my friends, I had no job or any career prospects. I lacked any direction in my life. I was just a ship, no captain. Upon my many Google searches as benign as "how to tie-a-tie", "how to get a 6 pack" and "how to train your dragon", I stumbled upon what the 3.5 billion males of the world lacked the intuitive to ask; "how to make a girl like you". After endless Yahoo Answer threads of "just talk to her", my unsatisfaction led me to vigorously search and finally I found it, a pick up artist forum which will go unnamed.
I consumed the material at a rapid rate. After about 3 months of reading pick up 'theory', I felt like the shit. "If a girl ever came up and talked to me, I'd so be able to do her ", then back to Pornhub for a satisfying wank. "I couldv'e boned her in real life, but na." The question then was, well, why don't I start applying my self? I ignored my intuition to take action, after all, I have Sasha Gray when ever I need her on my computer screen. However the disatisfaction of the meniality of my absurd existence was starting to eat at me.
I'm glad I felt dissatisfied, inferior and compeltly and utterly absurd, because I fianlly took action. I found SydneySarge. Its a community of men on an internet forum who meet up with 'wings' and 'pimp' it. Most of us where young and inexperienced.

I met my first wing, Andy. Then in our group was Andro and Pranva. Together we pimped, roaming the streets of Sydney to find our next target. Like a group of hunter gatherers, we stalked our pray, and when they least expected it..."Hi!" Out from the shadows we came. I'm trying to make this sound as creepy as possible, because lets face it, this is as creepy as it gets. My first approach was on my 3rd day of coming out. Andy was coaxing me into an approach. A usual hazing practice for a newbie. Through the sweating, shaking and stuttered speach, I stopped the surprised 40+ Chinese lady for 0.7 seconds before she made an awkward run to the exit.

Through the embaressment, and tears of laughter, I felt reborn. Kind of what your first fight in 'Fight Club' would be like. I talk it up to sound like this was a beautful event. Hmm more or less, it was amazing and it changed my life. Since then, I've been hitting up the town twice a week, then three times a week, then four times a week, then five times a week! I now hover around 5-6 times a week with the odd 7 times in a week.




Conclusion
Anyway, it's getting late. I plan on updating and posting articles a atleast twice a week. They will mostly cover my adventures and things I learned. I hope that it will also inspire you who are reading this to go out, live life to the full and find as many 'warm holes' as possible.

-Goundy

"Can I get your number?". She gave it to me, so I walk off with a sense of pride, not realizing my own blunder: getting the milk and not the cow."

To win a girls number, is to win a girls heart.
Thats Hollywood for you. Guy walks into bar. Sees girl. Walks to girl. "Can I get your number", he says. "Sure", she says. They live happily ever after.

Looking through my list of numbers on my phone, I ask wheres my happy ending!!!!! :'(? The vast majority of the interactions that led to the phone numbers that I am looking at right now, never eventuated into anything more than, "add me on FB", or "sorry cant meet up; got work". Alex, Alyce, Amanda, Ami, Ash, Ashleigh... Not even done with the 'a's yet... Have shown that there interested enough to give me their phone numbers, but not enough to bother coming out with me, or even send more than two texts. Then I cry. Do you cry to?

I'm just joking, I've known for a long while that most of the numbers will flake and true succeses come from persistence, and getting even more numbers.
The story of my first number close was when I was in a club called, the Brewery in Rouse Hill. I had never gone clubbing for the purposes of sarging before, as such; no drinking. I was shitting myself.
Me, Adro and Pranva where in the car pulling up by the building to park.


"What should I say to the girl?"
"Does drinking really ruin your game?"
"Is it different to day game?"
"OMG!!!!!"

Pranva gave me some advice, I think it was to just shut me up. "Say whatever", "yes", "no", "I'm Hindu, blaspheme all you like".
As it's our turn to have our ID's checked, I size up the bouncer with a false sense of bravado. The 6"3 Maori scans me up and down and checks my ID again. Nervous as hell, I walk in as if I had done it a million times. This was my 3rd time out and there was no alcohol in me, so... everything was more intimidating. The girls looked bitchier, every dude was a super buff juicehead gorrila guido (thanks for that one Simple Pickup) and I felt shorter than usually, like literally I felt downsized.

Nonetheless, following some basic principles I read, the second I stepped in, I hit the first set. I used my standard, "You guys! Know how to party!" (extends for handshake). Two girls in their mid 20s; it went well. No bathroom pull after 5 minutes but we talked and I felt pretty cool. I grew and inch. Cock or height, they both serve the same metaphor.
Second set was a mother and a daughter; hot mum, hot daughter. I don't remember the details but I remember I ended up picking up the daughter and taking her away from her mum right in front of her. I grew taller again. It went on like this, dancing with really hot chicks, opening sets with guys etc. Its all pretty average for intermediate guys but at the time, it defiantly felt like something to brag about. I then found a cutie around my age, we ended up talking, holding loving eye contact and just before the picteresque makeout - "Can I get your number?". She gave it to me, so I walk off with a sense of pride, not realizing my own blunder: getting the milk and not the cow. Thats of course in hindsight, I did feel the ego gratification pump through my arteries like some drug. "'Yay'", it made me say.

Later that night, I try call her. There was no answer, no biggie. I called again 3 hours later, still no pickup. I then texted, but after no text after a week, I finally experienced the phenomona of the 'flake'.

The ride home was perplexing as I analyzed the night at hand. I managed to stave off alcohol and have anwesome time. I did tons of approaches despite being nervous at the start, and I finally got a number; well sort of. She chose not to have communication with me despite giving me her number. The mindfuck levels where astronomical.

Oh well, thats life I guess. More specifically, our demented and warped view of life as Pick up dudes. Even now that I'm 10 times better, these problems seem only intensified with all the influx of numbers I'm getting, but the fustration is less intense now that there is an understanding of the due process. I got a hot 32 year old Italian womans number in a bar the other day. I'll probably never see her again or waste any more phone credit than that, that is nessecary. Who knows, we might get a whole new line of realistic Hollywood romantic flicks. Guy walks into bar. Sees girl. Walks to girl. "Can I get your number", he says. "Sure", she says. They never see eachother again. Repeats process 50 more times with other girls in other bars and, he finds a girl who texts him back and they live happily ever after.

-Goundy.

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

"I'm imagining an alternate reality where I'd be fucking her standing in a puddle of piss while she faces straight into a toilet bowl; staring at a turd. "

My first Makeout
Well actually it was when I was 14. It was awkward and slobbery. I mean as a Pick up dude. My first makeout.

Firstly, let me point out making out is retarded. It makes no sense whatsover. Two people conjoin mouths, the same mouths that host millions of bacteria organisms, turn food stuffs into semi-digested food stuffs and can house a variety of diseases such as gum decay and herpes. Then two people press these things together in order to create a short term emtional bond. What da fuck is up with that. It appears all esoteric and spiritually fulfilling but the reality is, its just plain festy (I consider festy the most austere word I know).

Anyway I was making out with this fat chick in a club that shall go unnamed a few months ago. She would suck my upper lip, I would suck her lower, big deal. But it was a milestone in my progress as a Pick up dude. I learn't the most fundamental aspect to the game I know or will ever know. To me, this one thing dwarfs every single ammount of pickup theory or even a few years of field experience (if its not being used already ofcourse).

That thing is eye contact.

Not the weedy little eye contact of someone who stares at another human being straight in the eyeballs for only 9 seconds before his eyes fluctuate or shyly back down.
I'm talking about badass eyecontact. The kind where you can stare deeply into someones eyes for 5 minutes without falteration. This ofcourse is superhuman behaviour. You cultivate it with months of meditating for 30 minutes a day, thats another story in itself.

However thats not all. Theres another thing that I learned that adds Hydrogen to the Nuclear warhead. That thing is the 'claw'

Powerful, beyond measure. Catastrophic are its failures; fleeting are the triumphs. Now I will have to say, this is not my idea. It is an RSD idea. The basic principle is you just grab a girl and put your arms around them. The reason why I used the Hydrogen bomb as the metaphor is because Hydrogen (The claw) can make a "poof" but no "boom". Added with the much more potent nuclear warhead (badass awesome eye contact), it can create devestation much more far reaching than the bomb and the hydrogen used on their own. Oh and I forgot, like hydrogen did to Hindenburg, you will crash and burn if you don't use the claw well; especially if your drunk (also another story). So remember badass eye contact + claw = Millions of casualties, widespread havoc, fear, chaos etc.

Back to the story, I was just with my non-PUA friend. I started opening sets on the dance floor (which mind you is actually the easiest thing ever, just go dance). I decided to attempt my eye contact + Claw theory. Like the many nuke tests done in remote areas of little consequence, I decided to do it on her; a cute fatty dancing by herself. After the claw and the usual pleasentries, I just slowed things down and stopped talking altogether while I stare into her eyes. She couldn't hold eye contact for more than 4 seconds without laughing or looking away shyly. But being unrelenting, I kept at starting into her and soon 4 seconds became 6 seconds, then 10 seconds. The attraction build up was immense, the kiss became natural and erotic. After 10 minutes of making out and soft petting, I pull her around the corner and press her up on the hinges of the bathroom door; knowing this would be it...

""NO! thats too heavy!" says the bouncer.

And that was that, I instant date her but the attraction wore off when I wasn't eating her face off. I get her number close and leave the joint. I was pissed at the bouncer for the cock block of an innevitable fatty fuck in a bathroom stall. However I needed to pee so I go back into the club to use the bathroom and look around in dismay. If youv'e ever seen Eddy Murphys reaction to that kids improper use of his toilet in 'Daddy Day Care', you'll understand me. It was fucking rank... "I'm imagining an alternate reality where I'd be fucking her standing in a puddle of piss while she faces straight into a toilet bowl; staring at a turd. "


Sexy...

-Goundy

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

"The blowout was probably the most brutal one in my life. I was off balance and the girl pushed me like 5 meters back. I went in again only to get pushed and taunted. Lesson learnt hah =D"

"Today is the day".

I had been invited my a good school mate of mine to go to a local bar, regulared by many other school mates of ours. I hadn't seen my old school friends in a long time, I considered it my past life. Our friendships split up at the end of school as people chose different life paths. Some went to tafe or did an apprenticship but the many went to University. A foolhardy way to get a step up in your career and then later your life. I on the otherhand didn't want that. I wanted to be the worlds best football player. I trained up to 10 times a week starting at around the end of the 10th grade to the 12th grade. It was my dream and my passion in life. I wanted to rise above mediocrity, mainly for the purposes of boasting to my peers during our Highschool reunion in 5 years. I wanted to be special and get all the attention in the world, but mainly from my school chums.
But I quit football.

The hardwork isn't what got to me, nor the commitment or trials. I endured many hardships and made cosniderable progress until something much smaller cut me down. I made it onto the AC Milan Academy, god knows hows, but I was exuberant. The players, where well... lets just say pigs. But not just the players, but the coaches and the parents, even the people in the crowd. They where dicks. Welcome to the world of proffesional sports; a world of grownup jocks, pushy parents, coaches with destroyed dreams who take it out on there team. This was the kind of place where mistakes where not allowed, even on training. Lost matches, missed tackles and missed shot where cruelly looked upon and you were scorned for it. Its what I called an outcome dependent goal for the egotistical jocks who weren't loved as children. And I was one in training.
So I quit.

I felt very down on myself for quitting such a massive undertaking that consumed so much of my time, effort and mental energy. Worse yet, I couldn't be that special person who gets to boast impressive vocations. By this time school was finishing, everyone was going to Uni, and I was set adrift.

Many months later, I finally had something to be proud of, something that no person I know would believe I had accomplished. The skills to attracting random woman.

As I arrive at the venue with my friend I begin to meet more and more old schoolmates who appear to have developed much more han I in terms of education and career. It made me feel empty; so I went for it. In front of my school mates, I took the first girl I saw and made out with her. An outstanding feet to someone who has never seen such an act. There were props here and there, and even free booze. As I began to drink, I started hitting up more and more chicks, getting addicted to the sense of validation I sought out from my peers. The results with woman were there; but my friends weren't. They walked off, not interested in seeing my antics anymore; and I dont blame them. I left on my own not saying goodbye to anyone and rode the bus home alone, empty pitiful. I felt so shitty but I didn't understand why.

The next day when my head of clearer, I realized what had happend to make me feel so goddam depressed.
I realized that the whole night, drunk as fuck, I was picking up chicks in order to impress my friends who I was secretly jealous of. I hadn't realized that it was most likely that my friends had probably been feeling pretty shitty watching me do those things, realizing I had left them in a trail of dust. Rather than impressing them, I only ended up alienating them. I realized that such stupid decisions I had made that caused me to make such tactful errors in judgement, where mainly caused by alcohol which is why I very rarely drink now.

Also if you remember me talking about the claw sometimes being as tragic as the Hindenburg, well when you get drunk, everything about you is off calibrated, and instead of coming off as a suave player, you become the drunk idiot whos trying to rape a girl by grabbing her. I did that. The blowout was probably the most brutal one in my life. I was off balance and the girl pushed me like 5 meters back. I went in again only to get pushed and taunted. Lesson learnt hah =D

-Goundy

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

"But as the night progressed I understood that age really is just a limiting belief. In the same way that wealth, looks and ethnicty are limiting beliefs, so is youth."

About a month and a half ago, I made the exclamation that I had cracked the intermediate stage from the newbie stage that lasted about 3.5 months. I know when you read someones blog/forum post, time is distorted and it seams like I spent hardly anytime as a newbie. Reason is because I didn't write about each individual set, all the rejections, the mediocre interactions and the flakey numbers; you know, the boring shit that actually made you good. But for the sake of making an enjoyable post, I'll only post the interesting stuff that happend.

So this is probably my most succesful night.
Me, Banaa and Shipit, two close friends of mine, decide we would hit up the very nasty Oxford Street. Most Sydney siders who know Oxford Street probably wouldn't say the same thing about it, but to me it is a dingy rat nest full of scary fringe sub cultures that intimidate me. Punks, goths, emos, 'in-your-face gays/lesos and probably the most frightening homeless people in all of Sydney. As a fairly inexperienced clubber, this influx of stimulation I found was overwhelming.
So before we head off, my great fear of sarging in such an intimidating environment forced me to take massive action. I discovered the warm-up. In my opinion, the most under utilized technique in the netire community. You know how your first set is always shit? Eye contact is sporadic; voice tonality is weak, kino is creepy. I found that the warm-up eliminates the horridness of the first approach by unloading it onto an unsuspecting passer by and asking "do you have the time?" or "Which way to Central Station?". All your shitty eye contact, bad voice tonality etc, gets discharged in that warm up, so instead of creeping out your first set, you only mildly creep out a passer by and you probably didn't even do it that badly because they are standard stop and ask questions. The reason why generally speaking you want to avoid obliberating your first set if you can avoid it is because if you get a bad blowout, it can demoralize you enough that it can affect your confidence; this applies especially to newer people. Of course it's not really a big deal, demoralization through rejection is critical in your development. But having your first set go well can be a morale booster for the rest of the night, and it'll only take a couple of warm up sets to get you going.

So back the story, I decided to try out warming up, I asked 10 people what the time was, some people right next to eachother. I then went into my first set on the street and I felt like everythign clicked. No trembling or stuttering. When it went well and I ejected I felt great in the next set and the next and the next. We then went to Scary Canary for some more 'preliminary warm-ups' which is another thing I discovered. Warming up in a chilled bar before going to a loud obnxious club is a great way of climatizing yourself to the nightlife. So I opened a bunch of great sets until I was in the mood.

And off we went to a club we regular on Oxford Street (whos name shall remain anonomous). I found where usually the shenangians of the bizzare street would terrify me, I felt at ease. And when I was in the club, I felt more at home. I found that cute fatty in the club I was talking about in a previous post, and I was eating her face off in minutes. After that me an Banaa vowed to open every single set in the crowded venue. Most people there were older than me, around there 20s; I turned 18 just 3 months ago. But as the night progressed I understood that age really is just a limiting belief. In the same way that wealth, looks and ethnicty are limiting beliefs, so is youth. I know there are alot of young lurkers out there around my age or younger who stalk the forums. Alot of them, espeically of whom I met say they only want to approach 18-21 year olds or some other variation of a limited range. Firstly, when you think about it there really aren't that many of them around: you won't get good anytime soon if you spend your days looking for them. Secondly you wont overcome your limiting belief of age, you need to approach chicks significantly older than you. Through reference experiences, you'll realize that the older woman you sarge are more receptive to your personality/character as opposed to your age. Anyway I digress.

Writing about the carnage of the night would be much easier than explaining the details of what happend. Opened every girl in the club (40+), made out with 6 chicks, danced with multiple hotties and just had a blast in general. All the chicks I made out with where much much older, like mid 20s and smoking hot.

-Goundy

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

"So that was my first time... EVER. With a 30 year old Japanese ex-model with a husband in my car. It was shit but again, all was not lost."

How can one describe the following events without sound... boastful? I'll try my best to sound as tactful as possible.

I FUCKED A THIS HAWT CHICK AHHHHHH 8========= ~~~~ (_Y_)

Just kidding. Enjoy the story.

SO me and my buddies where prowlign the Pitt St mall as usual. Like every other day basically, you see a chick you hit em up; wash, rinse, repreat. Some interesting events that night were we saw some 'other' sargers. Our crew is from the Simplepickup forum. Theres is from the Sydneysarge forum. We refer to them, 'the others'. Just like from 'Lost' how they call the other surviors the others.

I get bored of talking to them because they seemed like boring people and start going on the prowl again. I see a really hot Asian woman who strongly resembled some kind of anime character. Massive eyes, fish net stockings and white trench coat. In I go with my standard opener I stole from the Sashathepua.

Me: Hey! Don't panic, I'm not crazy or anything, you'r really georgous I had to come say hi!

I do that while I literally jump in front of her and scare the bejesus out of her.

Through the thick of her accent and broken english, I plough through and we shoot the shit. I couldv'e become intimidated by the fact I didn't hardly understand her but I keep going. We instant date, walking around the labyrinth of shops in Westfield. Some interesting facts I learnt about her was.

-She likes dancing

-Likes traveling

-Name is Yuka

-Works as a babysitter

-Likes the show 'One Piece'

-Most unimporant of all, shes 30 and has a husband

Usually where I would become intimdated by both facts I decided to plow through anyway. Avoiding those to topics, I just sit down and started flirting heavily with her. Something I love to do alot is to just let the conversation trail off and stare deeply into her eyes. It freaks a girl out and causes and immense ammount of attraction. I probably did this like 30 times throughout the night. She would shyly look away I could just tell it was merly token resistance. Other things I did was propose to her playfully, kiss her hands and of course the old photo routine. While taking some shitty photos, it gives you an excuse to get closer and kino better; personally on the third photo I jsut grabbed her and kissed her cheek where she just shockingly laughed.

I could tell through the mounds of resistance she was giving me when I'd flirt with her, kino her or just stare into her eyes, she was deep down enjoying it and wanted to me to continue. There were very subtle indicators that this was the case.

So she agrees to hit up a club with me and my friends. I see the club as the ultimate opportunity to get even closer and blast through the resistance that I've been getting. The moment we enter I take her hand and lead her to the dance floor and immediatly get right up close. More resistance, but less than last time. I do it again, same thign happens. After a nubmer of tries I finally get up to being able to grind with her. I then go for the kiss to get more shocked laughs and resistance. Rather than make this post take 10 hours to read I'll cut to the chase. After about 20+ tries for the makeout, I finally got it. She finally let go of what she was holding back and I could tell she wanted to for a while. I found it strange that she'd let me massage her thighs and breasts but wouldn't let me kiss her for ages.

Anyway. It had been done. The impossible.

Just sitting on the couch with my georgous 30 year old Japanese girl straddling me; felt like a king. After about 2 hours of just 'hanging out', I decide to take her home. After brief goodbye with Banana, we walked arm in arm to Darling Habour, only to find that her navigation skills were equally as bad her English. SO we walked to the bustop and waited for an hour while just cuddling eachother (both knowing the bus wasn't damn well coming). SO after an hour we met a stranger who wanted to split the cab 3 way to Balmain which was where her backpackers lodge was). Oh yeah, forgot to mention the whole time, like every 5 minutes we were waiting, she absolutley insisted that I should go home because I can't stay at hers. I just figured I'd plow through it like I did with all the other resitance. Anyway so we split the cab fair and the end of the trip and we finally get there. We get inside where I race into the bathroom to retreive my condom and place it in my pocket knowing this is a sure thing. So we walk up into her place and as soon as I open the door I was like.... -_- WTF?

the dinginess of the place she staying at was staying at wasn't a lie after all. Clean of course but like 4 guys just sitting there on mattresses. And that wasn't even the bedroom. The bedroom had even more people in it so im thinking "Fuck! Wasted all my money getting here and I knew I couldn't stay. we sat on the veranda and talked and hugged somemore but I knew I had to go, it was almost 2am. I was butthurt as fuck.

So she waits with me at the taxi cab and when the taxi got there, she grabbed me for a deep long passionate kiss (feels weird describing that to a bunch of guys. ugh), we said our goodbyes and I got the taxi to Townhall, only just making it there on the change I had.

SUMMARY

Practically no money, can't go home, almost got laid but didn't. So I was homeless.

All was not lost however! I aranged a Day 2 with her. I wrote a post about it on the thread I post regularly. If your curious to see what it is it's this one http://simplepickup.com/forum/australia ... al-23.html
So that was my first time... EVER. With a 30 year old Japanese ex-model with a husband in my car. It was shit but again, all was not lost.

"Anyway, so I finally closed the deal (for real this time) with the help of a $15 blue pill mashed into a pineapple flavoured gel. Its some kind of viagra subsitute with no perscription. It was great! except thought my dick was going to snap off a couple of times :S.

Anyway Yuka gone back to Japan . Im pissed but time to get back into the same ol' routine (get myself out of cherish mode). I'll be out everyday again so if you down, ill give u a txt."

To expand on that post, we'd been going out on a nubmer of dates and it was the proper boyfriend/girlfriend experience. She told me on one of our dates that she had to go back to Japan. I was devastated and I havn't even properly closed the deal yet. So off I went to meticulously plan. Something about me is that I am someone who takes planning to the next level, heres the plan I re-mastered from a diagram I drew up in my planning book.

Ask dad to vacate home
|
Accepted

1. Drive to Manly (Where I was pickign her up)

2. Pick up Yuka

3. Eat the Viagra when shes not looking

4. Drive back

5. Introduce her to father

6. Fuck her brains out

7. Drop her home

Ask dad to vacate home
|
Declined
1. Drive to Manly
2. Find good sex spots
3. Pick up Yuka
4. Take viagra when shes not looking
5. Take her to sex spot



So allow me to summarise the depravity. I really wanted to fuck my girlfriend before she leaves; I would do it at any cost. As such I bought a vigra subsitute for $15 at a sleezy porn shop so I wouldn't get a limp dick like last time. I introduced her to my father; who mind you is a conservative Christian and in addition I have never brought a girl home before. An appropriate way of explaining his reaction would be -"DAFUQ!!!!!!"

It was even weirder when I brought my current girlfriend over for the first time but that is a story for another time. I was even willing to fuck her in a public spot!

The actual sequence of events went as follows. I asked dad to go out for a while so I could bring a girl home >< very tactless of me, he declined but stated "he was kool with it". Not so "kool" after meeting her.

"WADAFUQ!"

When I dropped her off, she cried profusely. We had a great romance and because of her husband it was imperative that she not give me her number, facebook or email because he routinley checks them. So it was goodbye forever. I held back some man tears and we said our goodbyes.

-Goundy

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

"I'm absolutely blasted from work. For a job that only pays $12 an hour, they sure do know how to make you earn every fucking cent lol. So by the time I get to Town Hall steps, I see Banana and Shipit, first thing Banana says is, 'theres a hot model chick you should approach.'
'Fine...................' "

I thought I'd start covering topics that relate to multiple different stories. The art of self-amusement is the tool that is used to make the world less shitty. Lets be honest, 1000s of miles away, theres some brown kid get blown up in some war. Theres incurable diseases that make your complaints about a stuffy nose sound asinine. Famine, racism, recession. Theres a billion and one reasons not to feel good, after all to feel good for no reason is to be ignorant of all the other bullshit thats happening in the world is it not?

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” - Brian Tracy

Feeling good for the sake of feeling good... is good. Ignoring the facets of your life that are outside of your control is the way 'emotionally successful people' liberate themselves.

So enough wishwash, here are some stories of self-amusement in field.

McDonalds Approach

After a day of approaching with my buddies around a month or two back, we decided to head into McDonalds for a feed. Just before I go to order my meal I see a real cute one. Young, around my age; clearly very attractive when not in her work uniform. I knew what I had to do.

Everyone else got seated to eat there meals, only to notice me standing dazedly like a zombie at the front counter, as if I was making a life or death decision about getting the Bigmac or the Quater-pounder.

5 minutes later, everyone had finished eating and I was still standing there, swaying back and forth. I knew it had to be done. I wanted to make my self laugh. But of course societal ideas of what is and is not appropriate is what I was still being subjected to; after all it was a very very very crowded Mcdonalds. As my friends get up to leave, ushering me along, I decide to do it.

*Pushes through the busy line of customers and interrupts her while taking and order:

Me: Hi! I don't want anything

Her: ...

Me: You are really cute, I'm Goundy.

I reach over and shake her hand while she looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Mind you I was also practically yelling because if there was any chance that this would work, she would have to be able to hear me over the customers and the other loud noises. As such the moment I was heard, the restaurant fell dead silent.

Me: Who is the lucky guy?

Her: .........Nobody

Me: Omg, love affiar, you and me. Jump over the front counter and we'll live happily ever after *reaching of for her hand.

Her:.......No thanks.

She was clearly enjoying this immensely but she was so stunned, it was clear not much could be accomplished, with the hungry customers, the manager and all her workmates staring at her. The environment of the place started to freak me out so I froze. I decided to go for it before I eject.

Me: Can I get your number?

Her:........*Looks at manager*.... Ummmm. *Looks at ground and shakes her head*

Ok I did it, I didn't get the number but I really shook things up. In the process of having a bewildering new experience and having a tearful laugh with my friends, I probably made everyone’s day in that restaurant. The people waiting to be served living there boring lives would have never seen someone break social norms and I hope on some level may have inspired them I guess. And of course there was the chick on the front counter who could have been on the verge of shooting her brains out of boredom. Everyone benefits from this kind of behavior.

15 Second number close

I wrote a report on my usual posting spot, Ill post it here. http://simplepickup.com/forum/australia ... al-23.html

Stealing Cheesey Bacon Tendercrispy from spoilt bitch

I was at Hungry Jacks in the city by myself getting some water.

"Small Cheesey Bacon Tendercrisp meal"

I was waiting in line contemplating a long night ahead, I was yet to warm up and -

"Small Cheesy Bacon Tender crisp meal!"

I was kind of in a pissy mood. It was just one of those days where -

"Ma'am would you please collect your Cheesey Bacon Tendercrisp meal?!" The small Asian lady working at the front counter called out the large group of prissy party girls.


"Pass it too me! What am I paying you for"! Roars of laughter ensued from her table.

Her meal sat there cold.

I snatched up the meal sitting there and making sure the group was watching blatantly starting eating it. They were shocked to say the least. I started with the chips, then onto the burger.

'DAFUQ!!! OMG!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!'

"You didn't want your burger; finders keepers". We engage in an intense staredown, until her and her group of friends break down in tears of laughter. We get talking while I continue to blatantly eat her meal. With a spoilt attitude and sense of entitlement, convincing the poor lady at the front counter to make her another for no reason proved to be very little work. She got the new meal and then I gave her my one which was only partially eaten. She thanked me for getting her an additional meal and then I was off.

What is the point of these things; these pointless stories? The world wasn't made a better place. Lives weren't changed, leppers didn't heal, wars weren't stopped. For what purpose do I do these things.

Because I can.

-Goundy

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

Text Game Part 1

"Me: wish I could climb into bed with you. we could have all sorts of fun
Her: yeah we could read to eachother
Me: fuck off"


Hey. Time for your meaningless dose of internet stimulation.


My kind of text game isn't nescarily geared towards getting day 2s; which why I suck shit at it. However because I have a GF, there isn't any motivation to get day 2s, so I just get the numbers and play around with them a bit; just keep them warm so they make the call-back list if I ever feel like making them my company. In addition when I'm serious and before I had a GF, I always called. Some people say its an intense intrusion of a stranger. Luckily thats my type of game and because it's jsut me being me, I had success doing it.
So anywho, enjoy.

Izzy Your Babw
______________

[quote]Me:Hey Rape van still available. Got the candy flavored duck tape girl.
Her: we will be there in 5!
(Right after meeting her)

Me:Hey texting numbers on my phone. How are you
-Goundy
Her:I'm good thanks how are you? X
Me:Sitting here reading a book
Her:Alice in wonderland popup book?
Me:No Frederich Nietzche
Her:Niceee
Me:You like 18th century German existential philospohy to!!? Wed make a good couple
Her:Hahaha yay!!><
Me:How did we meet again? I insulted your father and stole your ice cream or was that someone else?
Her:Yeh that was pretty much it love at first sight =P
Me:Dont play games with me. I know your cheating on me
Her:You caught me [] []
Me: Punishment time. Hand me my belt
Her:Creep o meter just exploded
Me:Why do you like creeps so much?
Her:Because their different and different is always interesting =))
Me:Your Taste in men i whack. Find yourself a nice normal man
Her:I have []
Me:=O What about me how could you?
Her:Sorry you just dont match up!! [] []
Me:You just destroyed my heart

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

"Anyway, you can call me Senpai"

Howdy ya'll. Todays topic is an event that only happened about a month ago. The stories are becoming more recent as I start to divulge stories faster than they can happen to me.

Good friend of mine from my sarging group had a birthday at a very well known snotty club known as the Ivy. I know all the Sydneysiders are probably like *Scoff* "The Ivy....". Probably the most popular grazing/hunting ground for the local PUAs; filled with steroid infused bodybuilders, 9-10s that are 1 feet taller than you, a gangland vibe with a hint of territoriality amongst the males. Or at least thats what I heard before I got there.

I dressed my best. I heard that people were often turned down because they didn't fit the standard.

I head down to the grocery store in my dress shirt and bought a Birthday card. Not being able to find a '26th' birthday card, I found a 2nd birthday card, crossed out the 'nd' and crudley wrote, '6'. I went there alone. seeing the charade of hot woman, buff dudes and extravagant club decor, it wasn't the intimidating cartoonish version I had painted it out to be. After going out constantly to club, I can't believe it took me so long to see everyone as just normal people; like you and I.

So up I get into the club, I get warm welcomes from my crew, Shipit, Banna, Phisker and Secold. I then start working the club with my lame card; it had a picture of a red robot on it; after all it was a 2nd birthday card. Everyone was Asian. Goddam lol so many Asians. It's since this night I started to develop a real profficiency for Asian woman because of little tactics, gimmicks and routines that I created to cater to this night. Most of the interactions go like this.

Me: Hmmmm, you look Indian
Asian: No no no no no, Chinese
Me: Oh I can speak Chinese! Konitchiwa, Mushi Mushi! Sushi. Karati. Samari sword!
Asian: AHaahhaha nooononon you say like dis.
(then she proceeds to teach me her ching chong language)

Me: Hmmmmmm, you look Chinese
Japanese: No! Japanese! How could you get confused!
Me: Oh I can speak Japanese! Nihao-ma! Mao Zedong! Yao Ming! Fish rolls!
Japnese: Nononono thats Chinese.
Me: Ohhh. Anyway, you can call me Senpai (title usually given to respected elders. As such I would be Goundy-Senpai)

Running around getting people to sign my card, whilst making racist remarks. I finally cosy down next to some Korean and Japanese chick. A couple of photos and more racism, I grabbed the Korean chick and made out with her in front of her Japanese friend. The birthday boy arrives and I give him the card. He tells me he was gaming both of them prior. I asked which one he wanted more and he said the Korean one. So I blatantly swap over and grab the Japanese girl away where I plough through her cultural conditioning and make out with her. She was very busty, small, 31 year old whos been here for a year. Later I see a Secold with the Korean girl randomly, so we instant double date.

In hindsight I'm not mad about this next part, it's just plain funny. I laugh so hard I cried. After the instant date, me Secold, Banna and Shipit take our girls home (who conveniently were all friends and lived on the same street). Everyone thought they were gonna get laid.
TROLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOL.
Shipit and Banna sperated from us to take there girls home who were staying at there house and me and Secold headed to the Koreans house. We sat on sperate couches, talking to our girls. After about an hour, I say:

Me: Secold, I'm gonna take Japanese girl home
Secold: O ok its getting late I'll come to.
Me: Nononono, you stay here with the Korean girl, I'll take Japanese girl home, BRB.
(Looks at Secold - already huggign his girl goobye)
Me: =S

We walk back to Japanese girls apartment

Me: Hey can I use your bathroom? (Standard tactic - How to get into a girls house 101)
Her: Sure
Secold: I need some water, can I please get some water
Her: Ok
Me: >=S

Later

Her: Well heres the bathroom.
Me: ..............................................Than ks
Secold: Thanks for the water.
Me:............................................... ...........................................>=@

So we walk outside I say goobye to Japanese girl and we walk off into the night. OMG!!!!!!!! EPIC FAIL HAHAHA!
I later get a call from Banna that he and Shipit had a similar outcome and needed a way to get back into there house to try again. I told him to use the 'Standard Tactic' but the same thing happend. He pissed and left =S.

All was well though I started dating the Japanese girl and wev'e been going out ever since < 3.

-Goundy

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

"You need to leave your door open from now on"

I'm going to write a new post. Now I'm a little tired so please excuse me if my verbal articulation isn't as succinct as it usually is (bit of overcompensation right here ).

Our first date was a cute walk around the sites of Sydney. Of those sites where of course Chinatown, Darling Harbour, Hyde Park and of course the Vivid Lights festival that was on display at Circular Key at the time.
I walked her back to her house hoping to get a little action, only to find a rude awekening of many unpleasant roomates.
So next date was at my house. I picked her up at hers and drove her to mine. In order for the events to take place, I had an elaborate ploy for her this a 'succesful night'. First and foremost, the family needed to GTFO. So I coaxed my mum and sister into attending the Vivid lights festival where I agreed to come (and then I flaked on them hehehe ). My dad decided to take a late night shift at work, so everything was in place.

7:00. Arrive - Fuck
9:00. Finish fucking
11:00. Arrive home from dropping GF home and parents are none the wiser by the time they get home.

All was well initially, had the house to my self and was banging away. I didn't last 2 hours like I hoped so we decided to walk on the beach for a while. Seeing how much time was left, I threw on the Japanese version of the Grudge and we watched it. I knew I had to turn it off half way through if I were to make good on the plans, but I really wanted to the see the damned climax of the movie. So I watched the whole godam movie, and as punishment I was given another climax of the night.

**Knock Knock**

Mum: Goundy, we are home. I thought you said you were going out.
Me: Hi mum. Don't come in please

**Opens the door**'

Mum: The Vivid light show was really amazing. They had this cool show on the operhouse.
Me: Cool cool. Don't turn on the light please

**Turns on the light **

**Grabs Japanese girls head and shoves it under the covers, creating an un-natural hump in the bed

Mum: I made chicken, it was a nice mix of rosemary and chime. I think it tastes better marinate-

I cracked under the pressure

Me: OMG MUM this is Japanese girl

**Dramatically throws covers off revealing a little busty Japanese girl in bra and Panties. Me in just my undies **

Mum **** Glares for 10 seconds *****

**Door closes**

As I walk her out of the house later that night, I parade her through my apartment solomly introducing her to the rest of the family, then I walked out.

Took 3 days before they started talking to me again. The giest of the first thing mum said to me was:
-I don't want unwanted grandchildren
-Why is she 31?
-Why was your last girlfriend 30?
-Why can't you find a girl your age?
-You know whats right and whats wrong (reffering to vaginal penetration with my penis)
-You need to leave your door open from now on
-Can I talk to heri n private next time shes around?

And finally

-Well, atleast shes younger than me...

-Goundy




[/img]

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

Would you ever fuck for money?

Ahhh. It's good to finally take a break. After a solid 4 months of going out everyday. EVERYDAY. You tend to go a little mental. I started to notice myself become more and more detached from reality. Improving pickup at an astronomical rate, but turning into the guy that keeps stuffing food into his mouth and forgets to swallow; its time for some contemplation and introversion... Some of the reasons I took a break for the week weren't purely to 'advance my perception of life’ lol. There was also the little reactive side of me that had a pretty rough week; I know, just like everyone else, I still can get a tad emotional -_-.

First story describes a ‘hot Japanese chick with ADHD, WHO TRIED TO STEAL MY FUCKING PHONE; THE FUCKING BITCH’. It also has a title with the same name.

Hot Japanese chick with ADHD, WHO TRIED TO STEAL MY FUCKING PHONE; THE FUCKING BITCH
I was having a solo sarging session last week. The different between hitting it up by yourself and going with your buddies is that when some stupid shit happens, you can run back and be like AHAHAHAHAH, did you see that!?

Not when you’re by yourself...

Walking up Townhall steps (a popular sarging spot in Sydney for those unaqauinted) to open a smoking hot Japanese chick. I have quite the track record with Japs and the receptivity was further proof of this. I was enthralled with this woman. She was a spastic head (that is my preference fyi). When something funny was said, she laughed obnoxiously loud. She would make these cute Japanese manerisms and had the same temperamentality of your 3 year old cousin.

Your 3 year old cousin: I have a boo-boo, waaaaaaaa ;'(!
You: SO CUTE!!!!!! >


I'll skip ahead to like 10 minutes into the interaction
Me: I can speak Japanese! Ching Chongity Chong Ching. Asaw Asaw!
Her: You sawww fannnneeeee. Ma fassbook noot wrking on ma fone. I liek to add u plzzzzzzzz.
Me: Go nuts

I gave her my phone. She was so adorable; I wanted to eat her.

Me: You've been on the phone for a while now, I don't trust you . Here, hand it over I wanna see.
Her: NAO NAO NAO, I give u in secoond.

Minute or two later...

Me: *Just self amusing*
Her: *Typing away furiously*
Me: Hey lets get a photo together!

I pull her in to do the old photo routine. For those who aren't familiar with my photo routine, I ask to do 3 different photos:
1. First is the superhero one where I pull her in and pretend I'm superman pointing at Godzilla or something while I clutch her like she’s a damsel in distress.
2. Is where we pose as models for an advertisement for some expensive perfume or underwear brand. The kind where we look deep into each other eyes and she looks away slightly, as if saying "I'm too good for this sexy guy, because I wear Chanel no.5"
3. Is a normal photo, except I grab her and kiss her on the cheek at the last second, but in my experience I just go for the lunge makeout which has worked a surprising amount.

Anyway, that was all false buildup, she didn't want to do it.

Her: NAO! I TALK NIKOLA. YOU HAV FONE LATR. LATR!!!

It's literally been 10 minutes of her sitting there entranced by my phone and me sitting there like a chump, eagerly awaiting for her to pay attention and validate me again.

I realized the situation and decided to call it quits.

Me: I'm going, your boring and weird. *tries to take phone*
Her: NAO NAO. NIKOLA. I NEED TALK, I GIVS U IN SECOOND.
Me: No seriously you’re creeping me out, I want my phone back and I'm leaving

As I desperately try to claw my phone back, she resists my pursuit with the energy of a toddler.
Her: IT MINE! NIKOLA, MUST TALK NOW. I GIVE IN SECOND NAO NAO NAO NAO NAO!!!!!!

I must emphasize this was not done out of jest or good humour. I was stern, I wanted my phone back. She was pissed. She held onto my phone as if it was the only thing stopping her from being sucked into a spinning vortex. I have never seen this kind of thing before...

We had an audience of about a dozen people, watching the events unfold. Unfortunately I was the antagonist in this theatrical production. Just some street punk trying to steal the phone of the sweet tourist.
Her: NAO NAO NAO. WOT U DO? WHY WHY!!!!?? =’(
I eventually overpowered her, only to be berated with more shrieks and tears. (Yes she was crying)
Me: Your psyco, I'm leaving
Pulling out the phone to see Facebook, what do I see none other than the text conversation of her with some 'guy' called Nikola.
Her: "Niec meeting u, u great in bed". "Thanku for da sms's, they wa sweet, we shud meet up loverly ^_^"

Me: "Time to call it a night"


This next one took place a night before my last story. I was moseying through Townhall looking for my next approach. I see her in Hungry Jacks near Event cinemas. Shes a tall busty brunette. After a quick scan of the vicinity to see she isn't the trophy of some pepped up lebbo gangster, I go in with the standard shit. We back and forth for a while, while everyone watches me blatantly hit on her. I instant date her (make her walk me to my bus stop which was ages away) while I hold her hand. Like 40 mins into our ID, I jokingly ask,
"Would you ever fuck for money?". Then she tells me her life story. Basically she’s a hoe. I thought, "kool, new experience, I got a 'hoe'." Then I forgot about it. I keep escalating, running my hands over her neck and face and legs. I kept trying to kiss her but only received the giggly push-away. I got her number and we were all set to go the Aquarium this Sunday.

She tells me she wants to bring her Sister along. I realize that that’s probably her way of making a date with me comfortable so I comply and we are all set... Until the day of the day 2.....

Her: **** is with me. Do you have enough money for all 3 of us?
Me: What??
Me: Your just joking right?
Her: No why?

The blood in my veins were boiling. The anger and fustration I felt was the most I have felt in a long long time.

Me: Wow... Goodbye
Me: I'm not your customer
Her: Your cool but I dont like spending time away from **** and we dont have aquarium money.
Me: Honey... I wasn't born yesterday. This kind of behaviour might work on your small dick clients but not me... Dont text me again.
Her: That was **** texting you. I didn't have the phone but I thought you knew that I wanted you to pay for it. I'm not looking for a boyfriend or to go on a date. I'm looking to make money so don't act surprised.


I sat down on my bed and relaxed better than ever had. I meditated. After the stupid emotions left my body, I could finally see the truth behind the events without the clutter of thoughts and emotions cascading my brain.

This is funny as fuck.

I stopped being depressed, told my friends and had a proper laugh and enjoyed the adventures for what they really are; adventures.

-Goundy

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

A great read. If you're into banging easy 30-somethings, try the Pickled Possum in N Bay on a Friday after 10. A real meat market!

kool thanks for the suggestion. Ive actually been scouring Sydney, looking for a place like that. I live close it too! thanks!

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

I'm about to post allot of FR's that I posted on other forums. These are all from a year ago from when I was still coming up in the game. The last two are the most recent, only happening a few months ago


Amogs, Boyfriends and Knife Wielding Maniacs

“The irreverance levels went from, ‘asshole’, to to ‘narcistic dictator”

“There is a dingy club on Oxford Street known as ‘Hot Damn’. This place is so filthy. If I wanted to make less disgusting, I’d do a shit on the floor… Nonetheless, this place is great for sarging.”

I’ve basically run out of recount stories because I’ve done more writing than I’ve had wacky adventures. Sure every aspect of what I’m involved in is fucken whack; hell every approach is fucking whack. But in the light of bitch prostitues, hot 31 year old girlfriends and having a knife pulled out on me, anything along the lines of, “I did a funny approach” or, I got some girls number, is majorly diluting the impactfulness of this thread.

OMG, major epiphany, I do have a shit load more stories! I definatly didn’t mention the knife pulled out on me, so I’m going to segway into a new topic.

Amogs. Douchebags. Gangsters. Boyfriends
—————————-
24/5/2012. Strangled
There is a dingy club on Oxford Street known as ‘Hot Damn’. This place is so filthy. If I wanted to make less disgusting, I’d do a shit on the floor… Nonetheless, this place is great for sarging. Me and Shipit and another friend of mine hit it up. First set of the night.
Me: You! *points menacingly at a girl sitting on a couch with her friends*… Know how to party.
*Offers the Sacred ‘Hand of God’ to her. She takes it after a few seconds and I pull her away. She was the average gothy punk rocker, covered in tats. Mind you this was a place where they were blasting angry death metal; I was the odd one out.

After some small talk:
Her: I don’t wanna makeout with you in front my friends.

I can tell token resistance from a mile away, and the only solution was a caveman makeout.
After harcore makeout, I leave, because I was unable to isolate (and still am havign difficulty).
Many committed lesbians and “legitametly faithful girlfriends” resulted in only touchy feely but not any makeouts.. Boyfriends suck.
Anyway finally found a girl who had a boyfriend but her willpower was weak. I madeout with her and so she bought me and the rest of her friends shots. We were about to makeout again when I feel the paw of some dude tap me and grab my throat. I was still smiling and shit but he wasnt amused; he said somethign about wantign to kill me. His friends jumped in to push me back and the dude went to his girlfriend who was like . I hope they start having fights and breakup or something (bit of bitterness leaking out )

I then go up to some gothy looking chick with dyed red hair. I ‘hand of god’ her off her couch and away from her friends. She was hardly responsive, but not resistant so I jsut grabbed her and plant my face on her lips. Took her like 5 seconds before she was like ‘hmmmm ok’ and started kissing me back. Apparently some gay dude i befrieneded earlier and his menagerie of lesbiend friends where crowding around and watching. It freaked the girl out and she left. I did more sets only to find that more of these douchy, tatooey pigs kept telling me to ‘fuck off’ when I’d hit on one of the girls in the set. Happend 3 times excludign the one i mentioned earlier. There isn’t really much you can do to recover when a guy gets in your face ready to fight. The bouncers there were fucken useless.
Anyway, before I decided I was to scared to do another approach, I probly did about 12 before leaving with mate.

1/6/12. Amog Dad & Knife wielded
—————————-
During this month, there was a spectatcular event i nthe Rocks of Sydney known as the Vivid Lights festival. People where gawking at the amazing scenes, but we jsut cared about sarging.
Me and Banna spot some young looking girls dancing wildly in the street for no reason, so we run up and start dancing to. We decided to open properly, but ejected because there were about 9 of them and were all about 14/15 years old. As we walk around ,they kept reapproaching us. We let them tag along with us as I indiscrimantley shoot my profane vulgarity at them.

Her: Where are we going.
Me: The rape van, do you want to see?
Her: Yes!!!!!

I continue my streak of profanity and disgusting irreverant display when I notice all the girls starting to gravitate towards some 40ish man with glasses and graying hair.

Her: Rape vans this way.
Them: =O
Me: Is that your father
Her: Yes
Me: Hahaha lol. I definatly noticed the resemblance; the short gray hair and the glasses (ovbiously she had none of these aspects)
Father: Wanna go for a swim (gesturing to the water)
Me: Hahah I was just joking. But really no thanks.

Bana and I hurredly walk off. They later reapproach us. I had already done so much crazy shit that night, the irreverance levels went from, ‘asshole’, to to ‘narcistic dictator’
Her: How old are you?
Me: *Just glares out her*
Her: OMG!!! Ummm uhh, whats your name
Me: Bob
Her: No its not
Me: *More glaring*

She grabbed my phone off me to put her number in.

Me: Wtf is this. You wanna trade huh?
I snatch her ice cream and eat the entire thing.

Her: OMG I love you!!!
Me: K.

Similar story with some other youngish girl who gave the same outlandish responce.

Last set of the night…not so lucky.

I open a 2 set of blondies and try to chat them up.
Me: omg, who is the lucky guy. Love affair! you and me!

All of a sudden two Aboriginie guys come out of nowhere on either side of the girls. I greeted them but didn’t shake there hand as I was feeling uncomfortable and wanted to eject in a second. All of a sudden Phisker leaps out and says” SORRY WE GOTTA GO!” Rushing me out of the scene.

Me: wtf man!

He then proceeds to tell me that both of those guys where wielding knives, holding one each behind there backs.

HOOOOLLLLLYYYY FUUUUCKKKKKKKKK
Goundy the Average Player-415214_10150923180858397_59995633396_9684926_562553786_o.jpg
12/7/12 Pissy male contendor
—————————-
I had arranged a day 2 with a hotass 26 year old half Jordanian chick. I was walkign through the entrance of Event cinemas when I see this cute little thing sitting at the bar with what I thought was her femal acomplace. After I open, it was too late. The other person in the scene was her 13 year old nephew. 13 year old kid, 18 year old teen, and good old Auntie…
I kept giving off signs I was going to eject, because I really wanted to, but she insisted I stay and ‘entertain her’. I shoot the shit for a while, making awkward pauses here and there to clarify my sexual intent (gazing sexually into her eyes – while the kid is probably getting traumatized). After 5 minutes I really wanted to leave by ask for her number. She says no! ‘Your a little boy!’

Sidenote to myself at the time: YOU DON’T KNOW WHO YOUR DEALING WITH!

she jokingly mentioned how expensive the tickets were going to cost and said if I could get her in for free, she’d give me her number. Calling her idle bluff, I grab her and the kid and march through the line of people waiting to get there ticket stripped by the person working there. I get to the front, and with a casual nod to the guy, I simple stroll through like I owned the place. I then swindle my way into getting 3 pairs of 3d glasses and next thing you know, I’m on an instant date with her watching Spiderman in 3d.

The vibe was clear. Its ON. Not some, you can be my new gay best friend, but… ITS ON!!

So fast forward to the day 2 time. We are going salsa dancing when I get a phone call from her, informing me that she was bringing another friend. I wasn’t fazed until I heard the ‘guys’ voice.

Douche says to her: You said we’d be alone together!!!!!
She says to me: Yeah so this guy can teach you how to dance
Douche says to me: You better not come BUDDY:
She says to me: Hahah he’s so funny. Anyway where getting loaded up at some bar right now
Douche to her: *clearly slurring his speech* Fuck this guy
Me: I gotta go to a friends party all of a sudden… I’ll meet up with you another time.
Docuhe to her: Yeah in a few years!!!

Ok the last thing he said made no sense, but the inference was clear enough… Sure I pussied out, not willing to duke it out and win the girl – actually I don’t know where I’m going with this, I shoulda gone…

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com

Compilation Of Almost Lays
Posted on October 11, 2013 Standard Respond

“Now rarely in anyone’s lifetime, is a man gifted with a gimme shot – a foolsmate – manna from heaven – sitting on a parkway bench and a wad of cash flies into your lap.”

Coffee inhibits serotonin production by up to 50%; an imperative hormone that allows functional sleep. It also jets a copious amount of insulin into your bloodstream; in layman’s terms, not good. When you decide that having 6 shortblacks at 3:00pm in the afternoon is a good idea, justifying that, ‘You won’t be in bed for atleast 9 hours anyway’, you become sorely displeased when your decision leads you to staring at your computer screen, possum eyed, writing your internet blog at 4:30 in the morning.
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As an amateur, mastering the art. I don’t have many lay stories, in fact I wrote all about them. I am all dried up but I do have an abundant supply of ALMOST lay stories!

How ’bout that folks?

Yeh I know… SHUTTUP!!

=)

Each story has a moral tied into it. It’s going to be like Aesop’s fables, except instead of the rabbit realizing to not get cocky and beat the turtle, he realizes he needs to take care of logistics, keep friends occupied – ah fuck it, I don’t know where I’m going with the analogy. Anyway, point being, I can look back on previous experiences, and say “AH HA! Don’t do that again.”

30 yr old gf 19/5/12

For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, this event I wrote about in detail in a previous post. But those to lazy, I’ll give the quick run-down. My first GF from cold approach pick was hotttttt 30 year old Japanese ex-model with a husband. We’d been going out for a week, so I took her to see Titanic in 3D and we -add long boring romantic sentiment here- and then we went back to the love nest, aka my mums Ford Focus. Parked in a deserted carpark in Balmain, oh God was I nervous. As I clambered over to the passenger seat to… you know.. do it, I couldn’t shake the feeling I was punching above my weight. I mean, I was/am an 18 year old kid. I never even fucked girl before!!!!! She was like this goddess to me! It was no wonder I couldn’t get hard (no need for advice gents, that period is long passed and NO I DONT HAVE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION. Couple of guys on simplepickup forum suggested I did lol).
In addition, fucking in a car was well… not like in a Porno… I had to get into a bizzare tantric yoga position just so I could fuck her missionary.
Anyways. I managed to eventually close the deal at my house (after an awkward introduction to my father) with the help of… you guessed it; the levitating drug aka viagra.

Her: “I need rest”

End result: Me going into the superman position to piss for the next 4 hours.

I know, I’m fucked up..

MORALE
YOU ARE ENOUGH; DON’T BE NERVOUS.

31 yr old gf 2/6/12

Also wrote a detailed post about this one, but CBF posting. Anyway, this is my current GF. Just like the last, except shes one year older, and has no husband. When I very first met her at the Ivy, I really was aiming for an SNL. However in my immature mind, I hadn’t a clue WTF I was going to do. I’m a dog chasing a car, what would I do if I caught it? In the act of ‘just doing things’, I hadn’t planned what I should do after extracting a girl from a club; despite that being my foremost goal.

What ended up happening?

I walked her to her apartment to be greeted by 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8 roomates; four to each room. One might suggest this was an act of god but the reality is this was my fault for not asking simple questions like ‘do you have any room mates?’

But like the last, I’m not that butthurt about it because of the future events that unfold.

MORALE
SCREEN FOR LOGISTICS

Lengarie Party

Me an Banna hit up our favorite place in the world; Gypsy Lounge on Oxford St.
We love sarging here. The girls are our age and the guys are whimpy. This place is ideal to sarge as Banna and I are pretty decent at PU for our age. Unlike Ivy, Pontoon and Cargobar, this place requires the absolute minimal amount of skill and attentiveness to perform well. Thats the reason we go there, but also the reason we don’t go there all the time; because we’d become weak and won’t get good.

Anyway there was a lingerie theme where girls dressed in skimpy burlesque uniforms. First set

**Hand of God** to some busty blonde chick sitting with her friend

Me: Aye, who are you?

Banna, does something less extreme but still affective to the friend, “Hi, I’m Banna”.

Fast track 2 hours later to the club extraction, we walk to McDonalds where we sit and shoot the shit for a full 5 hours. Now I never believed in the 7 hour rule. But it was consoleing knowing that if it did, I crossed the line.
We walk them back to there Hostel, not actually considering logistics. The door guy wouldn’t let us in with them though. Thats ok, he was just doing his job, it was we who should have thought more carefully.

MORALE
ORGANISE WHERE TO BRING A GIRL BACK TO IN ORDER TO CLOSE THE DEAL

Horny Asian at Argyle

To me this was the most heartbreaking of all the stories. Good in the sense, that out of all these tragic tales, this was the one that finally got me to get up off my ass and sort out the goddam logistics (I now have the names, directions and numbers of the 8 closest, cheapest hotels in relation to areas of ‘the Rocks’, ‘Kings Cross’, ‘Darling Habour’, ‘Oxford’ Street. I know the exact ammount I have to pay for the cab ride, how much money I need in reserve in my bank account and place exactly three extra thin lubricated condoms into my wallet) and bad in sense I didn’t get laid.

Now rarely in anyone’s lifetime, is a man gifted with a gimme shot – a foolsmate – manna from heaven – sitting on a parkway bench and a wad of cash flies into your lap. This night at the Argyle, I had a couple of great sets that I put allot of effort into. They went for a while, and then they’d disperse and fizzle out.
In a last ditch effort to get something out of the night, I hit the dance floor. I had long since decided not to open on the dance floor, because in my experience, it leads to unnecessary flash game and wishy-washy sets that don’t want to be isolated.

I claw this hot Asian girl who reminded me of a pornstar dancing by herself. 2 seconds later, she was up on me and it was gg.

I just had to ‘be there’. SCREW GAME MAN.

Fast forward 30 mins later to where we are making out on the couch.

Her: We are going to do naughty things
Me: I’m going to fuck your brains out
Her: Mmmmm. Lets go to your house, where are you staying?
Me: *_*

I called gg to early, Purple team just backdoored us and destroyed our Nexus (sorry, I saw the LoL logo on my desktop and got inspired to use it as a metaphor)
Anyway, the point is it was game over for me. I told her my parents where at mine (they also would KILL ME if they saw me cheating on my GF) and even though she was 26, she lived with her parents still. 5 mins later, shes up on some beefy bald dude. They’d make a good porno =’( waaa

MORAL
SOUGHT THE LOGISTICS YO!!!! CANNOT EMPHASISE ENOUGH.

Almost fatty fuck 27/4/12

I touched on this event on a previous post, but I defiantly didn’t expand on the details. I went to Gypsy Lounge on Oxford St with a non-PU mate. I made out with some fatty, extract her from the venue, take her back in to escalate hard some more, try pull her to the bathroom only to get cockblocked by the bouncer (also to later find out the the toilet was dank, ‘rapey’, urine soaked, cesspool -Thankyou bouncer). Heres where the real trouble was. My friend is a petty petty man.
Everything was down, I was sure. I mean I could be wrong with how the events would unfold if ‘this’ didn’t happen but nonethless, it counts as an ‘almostlay’ (wooh tally that shit up beeyatch -_-jks).
You see apprently, as I return from my rendezvous; my friend had apparently been choding about on the dancefloor on his own. No biggie, everyone does it; or so I though.

“YOU LEFT ME ALONE YOU SONOFABITCH!”

Bam, his fist hurtles into my stomach.

He hurls accusations of how I left him alone, and how this is a line that has been crossed.

Now please sympathize with my decision here; I know what you’re thinking, but I was an inexperienced clubber at the time, I only turned 18 1 month ago and was not aware of the social protocols when it comes to going out with friends, so….

Me: Okay, I apologize, lets leave.

After feeling guilty for no reason for 2 weeks for supposedly betraying my best friend, while simultaneously asking around weather I had done something wrong; I had gathered the inputs of many neutral parties and made the following conclusion:

1. My best friend is a douch bag chode – hes been relegated to the status of ‘parasite’; we are no longer friends.
2. He stopped me getting laid (or setting up day2, getting number etc)

MORALE
DONT GO OUT SARGING WITH NON-PUAS

Now I don’t want to get extreme with my ‘rules’. All the random rules I make, are made to be broken, they just apply to me now until I no longer have a use for them, or I learn why they are not applicable.

_________________
Goundy - Young Kid - Macking old Hoes.
goundy-the-18-y-o-progidy-with-pictures-vt140868.html
Learning pickup at a young age? Come learn pickup with me. http://www.goundy.com