Yes of course.

Men are visually stimulated 'sexually'. Which is largely a brain stem function.

I think there's a big distinction with this, compared to the logically process of choosing a long term partner.

And I think this is where a lot of men and women get tripped up. They think short term 'attraction' equals long term compatibility. Especially when young and they lack critical judgment.

I mean if I were to dump my wife and our relationship every time a hotter, and younger looking woman in her prime crossed my path, we would have separated or divorced long ago.

I suppose this is just human nature. Of the most primitive kind. Society progresses technologically, but socially we often remain in the same old patterns that have existed since the beginning of the human race.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

Of course, the impulse and attraction is still there for men who are married. A conscious decision however intercedes (or doesn't) to stay with a long-term partner.

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- Zip

I had to shorten that up a little.

Yes, exactly.

It's interesting to me how ones perspective and behavior changes once they have been in a long term relationship with another person.

Perhaps not for everybody. And perhaps it's part age and experience.

Besides allowing for differences in individual men, do you find married guys to generally be more attractive from a female perspective than the single variety? Or does this have something to do with pre-selection, or a combination?

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Attractive in a different way:

They're triggering preselection and the longevity switch because of their married status. It's a subconscious thing. Of course, this has nothing to do with what I'm actually thinking, which is not "I want to bone this married dude."

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- Zip

That's interesting.

So you think pre-selection, and the fact that this guy (the married guy) obviously spends a lot of time with a woman (his wife) causes women to drop their guard somewhat?

Are you actually saying women don't see a guy and say, "I want him", or "I can steal him"? Because my experience has been that even if their attempts can almost seem passive aggressive, some younger women today can be considered somewhat aggressive in going after what they want. And in the mind of a woman isn't sex almost a given when it comes to men? I suspect it's always been like this.

I mean, from my perspective and from what you seem to be saying, here we go again with women not wanting to take any responsibility for their own behavior or the obvious outcome when it comes to the seduction process. After all, it takes two to tango doesn't it?

And a high quality or high status guy, IMO would never want to feel like he's forcing himself on a woman.

Perhaps what men consider high status and what women consider high status are two different things.

Rudy Giuliani comes to mind. But then I suppose we all know what that's about. Because he's got to be the most unattractive guy around. And a real louse in most thinking mens eyes. But like many men in such positions he never seems to have trouble attracting some new bimbo to take his current wifes place.

I mean if a young body, and the best possible sex and replication value was all us men were after when it comes to women, none of us would remain married past the first 6 months or so. And that seems to be the exception rather than the rule.

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is that why on all of mystery's and matador's newer videos you can see them with a wedding ring on? i knew it was something because nothing is on accident and i knew they werent married. hmmm.... interesting

There's also a darker side to all of this...

Some women who are only looking for casual sex/sugar daddies will specifically be drawn towards married men because they'll never leave their wives and will do anything to keep affairs transient/secret. I don't like to admit that this goes through some women's heads, but it does. A guy with a ring = a short term thing. Risk free because he's not going to want to talk about it.... and one of the main reasons LMR happens is the social repercussions of sleeping around.

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- Zip

Yeah, that gets SO annoying!

You're interesting Zip. Especially the darker side . . .

Also, you can't always tell which women will be this way and which will just flat be turned off by the wedding ring. At least, in my experience.

This has not exactly been my experience. But I appreciate your perspective.

Sure the short term and transient/secret thing has some merit.

I believe that besides the pre-selection switch, young women are attracted to married men in spite of the fact that they are married, rather than because of it.

An example would be the attention I get when I don't wear my ring, compared to when I do wear it. And the attention I get once a young woman sees me with my wife vs. before she does (pre-selection).

I normally get significantly more attention when I 'don't' wear my ring and especially if I've been seen previously with my wife. But usually once the attraction has been established, it doesn't seem to matter whether I wear it or not as long as I'm discreet in my approach and any escalation that might follow. Often very attractive women will open me.

Now occasionally I'll meet a chick that turns off like a light switch when I mention the fact that I have a wife or am married. Especially in a social context where she has to be careful about her reputation. But in my experience this is normally an exception.

And occasionally I'll run into a chick that's more like a cold fish, than anything else. These are usually less attractive women.

I'm not in the least deceptive about being married. And it just doesn't seem to matter.

It's my belief that married men just come across differently than single men. They are used to dealing with women, are relaxed in their presence, and tend to exude sex appeal. They also tend to be older, and as long as one remains in good shape, etc.. this is a plus. Perhaps this has something to do with the survival of offspring like you mentioned or perhaps it's an experience thing.

I'm reminded of something I read somewhere that said women can tell if a guy gets laid regularly or not. And the guy that gets laid the most is more attractive to women.

And no, I don't cheat on my wife. It's been 9 years in March.

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consider yourself lucky because these women suck. for reasons stemming from my own weird sense of morality, i have a huge problem with them. notice I said "some" and not "all," thank goodness.

congrats on 9 years. That is quite an accomplishment!

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- Zip

Thanks. Due to the fact that I have chosen to live out in the woods, and the majority of my income is from non-traditional sources my opportunities are more limited than they would be otherwise.

Like you say, attraction is not a choice. So proximity and commonality with women is a practical necessity.

A man always has the choice 'not' to pursue an obvious opportunity.

I'm sure that you can appreciate that this is sometimes a very difficult thing to do. Especially as men get older and their best years seem to be slipping away.

I would use the chocolate ice cream, with hot fudge analogy. When I see or meet a very attractive young woman this is what I see (especially an intelligent one that signals her availability). And I want to eat it, if you get my drift.

Because the older I get, the more attractive and assertive they seem to become.

Fortunately, I have a great deal of discipline and self control.

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Thank you for answering the question Zip. By the way, where did you get your photo done? It looks fab!

If your a guy, men do not say fab!

Unwarranted correcting other people is sooo not sexy.

LoveBomb- Thank you, haha.

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- Zip