| So Friday was my first real night where the objective was to meet women. I have been doing loads of research on the topic in the last few months (including reading the Game a couple times, intro to NLP, and lots of online material. Plus I do a LOT of reading in nonverbal communication and social psychology), but I started getting frustrated: I have all of this theory in my head, but it's useless without in-field practice. I've never been comfortable going to bars by myself, but luckily I just moved in with a friend of mine, Crisp, and we both decided we would work harder to get better at picking up women.
The night started out with lots of energy. I was doing some prep work before we left, re-reading material on some DHV routines and getting my confidence up. Crisp and I did a shot, and went out to the first bar.
On the walk over, I had so much energy that I would have talked to anyone. But by the time we got there, I started feeling some unexpected AA. Most of my AA comes from the fear of not knowing what to say to keep a conversation going... but a big part of it is that I'm not really interested in talking to most random people. My goal is to be a more social person, though, and I'm trying really hard to reframe myself so that I know it's ok to talk to anyone (even if I feel like I'm not interested in what they have to say). It's fun to talk to people, and you never know how interesting someone is until you start that conversation. But right then I just wasn't feeling it, and I didn't approach anyone at the first bar. Crisp and I chilled for a little bit and enjoyed the bar entertainment (watching a guy get kicked out) before deciding to meet up with a couple friends who were in the area. As a group we decide to head to a bar called the Smokehouse (where I had never been).
I'm a little tipsy at this point, and much more in the mood to talk to people. I really can't stand that I need to be drunk to get to that sociable point, but until I can get some confidence that I really know what to do, it serves its purpose at getting me out there. I push Crisp into a few sets to open them, and he does great (rolling off after the opener is closed). I get a little more drunk, and then, naturally, it's time to dance. I've always despised dancing, but in the last year or so I've learned how to do it and feel pretty comfortable on the dance floor. I've gone to bed with one girl, made out with another girl, and number-closed another girl (different occasions) directly from the dance floor and immediately after meeting them, so I definitely recognize the value of being able to dance at a club.
I'm dancing kind of by myself for a little while, and then Crisp pushes me (as I recall, literally) into a group of 2 girls and one guy dancing. There was a blonde one and a brunette one, but I couldn't really see their faces / I was drunk so everything looked very attractive. Crisp tells me they were cute. I start dancing with the brunette, who turns out to be an awful dancer. I must not have minded, though, because apparently I was on her for like 45 minutes. At one point she turns around and introduces herself, and we talk briefly. I learned she was a solar engineer (!!!) which I think is freakin' awesome. I told her I was a software engineer, and we got back to mindlessly grinding on each other. After a while I think her friend wanted to leave, and she asked me if I wanted her number. I said 'yes' very intelligently (I was praying not to puke on her) and handed her my phone so she could type it in (that's a trick I learned on this forum I think... it's MUCH smoother to say to a girl "hey, put your number in my phone" than asking for it outright or giving her yours. It kind of makes them feel like they have control of the situation because they're holding your phone, but really you have control of the situation because it's a lot harder to say "no" and give the phone back. Try it out).
She left and I went back to see how my friends were holding up. Turns out Crisp took my lead and started dancing with a very cute Indian girl (I'd give her an 8). She had a meh looking friend (maybe a 6? I'm being nice, it was really like a 5). I'm not 100% sure how the conversation started, but I start talking to both of them very animatedly. I have no idea what I said, but I remember their faces and they seemed very interested. The only thing I remember from the conversation was HB5 (can you still say HB if they're not a hot babe?) telling me she studied psychology when she was in school. I told her I studied psychology too (now you're wondering whether I'm software engineering or psychology...) and we talked about that for a bit. I wanted to leave, so I handed HB5 my phone and told her to put her number in it. I didn't want to step on Crisp's toes with the HB8, even though he was nowhere to be found. She said "Oh, well since you asked so nicely..." and put her number in my phone. I think it was sarcastic because as I recall I shoved my phone in her hands and gruffly stated to her that she was going to put her number in my phone. She did it though, so despite my slow start I got 2 number closes.
I had a nice walk back and witnessed some more fights (everyone seemed pretty aggressive that night, must've been a moon cycle or something). Crisp and I walked by a group of 3 very upset looking girls, and (God knows why) I asked the one crying if she was Australian. She said no which made me think for a moment, before replying (very matter-of-factly) ".......naaahhhhhh you're Australian." They all started laughing, which I barely noticed, and we kept walking. Not sure if that counts as an opener. At least I made the crying girl laugh, that's nice.
Deconstructing the night, I think it turned out well and I had a lot of fun but I performed poorly. I barely opened anyone, I didn't do a single DHV thing (unless you count dancing?), and I was really drunk. It was our first night out with the intention of pickup though, so I'll cut myself a little slack. From personal experience, opening actually isn't my sticking point. What I really need to work on is keeping the conversation going and building attraction AFTER opening. Closing shouldn't be too bad for me when I get to that point... I've done it before, and I'm pretty good at reading nonverbals for attraction. Let me know what you guys think!
-Arkon
|
CHAT