Agent, yeah, this is simple revenge talking. I won't feel this way in a month. I know that. But for now that helps me push myself. Although the majority of my motivation comes from somewhere else. I just want to be great at one thing I have been working on for a good bit.

All of you have made great points. I appreciate the insight. Harshness is more than appreciated as well. Motivation whether harsh or gentle is still motivation.

Yeah, I have deleted her number as well. Keeps me from attempting to call, because I never memorized it.

As far as fb goes I removed her visibility on the timeline thing. I'm not deleting her, for two reasons, 1) it seems childish, and 2) I have known her for too many years. I will see her again and we will end up being friends. Which I will be fine with.

For now....thanks for listening/reading.
Time to prep for the weekend ahead. Many a beer with two good friends and three very hot ladies!

you just validated yourself. ask yourself why you felt the need to do that. this will help inner game which in turn will help outer game.

Theanon... I don't want to sound like a dick - but seriously... whatever you want from this chick doesn't fucking matter - she's moved on.

So... if you'd like to refuck her one day... Leave the empty hook in the water, but do nothing else.

How?

Rebuild YOU. Think about what you didn't like about yourself during the relationship. Think about what expectations were not met by your ex. Think about how you want a woman to see you - and work towards THAT.

Then... you're doing nothing FOR her, it's for yourself - intrinsic motivation! But, you'll still fuck her if the opportunity presents itself.

Sad fact - and this hurts like a motherfucker - you need to forget about her right now; she's forgotten YOU.

Prescription: Recalibrate what you don't like in yourself and fuck other chicks...often.

RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

@RR

Awesome. That may be one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given.
Thank you

And too the response above that, never feel like you should say sorry to me. .never. I want the cold hard truth.

Glad it helps. Seriously, we've all been there. It sucks out loud.

I think that's part of the reason I'm rather heartless now... I don't like being hurt. I'm great at the start-up - I've got seduction down pat - I just suck at sustaining a relationship...

RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Ran into the ex last night. She came to where I always go.

Got the vibe of rudness off of her. She didn't speak. So I did likewise. All of her friends came and talked to me individually. Odd.

It was late, me and the folks I was with were hammered and ready to split. We stayed a while longer then split. I maintained my cool and kept conversation w/ her friends light. And that was that.

It did sting. No lie. Wish I was over her but I'm obviously not.

So was that some form of shit test? And why would she do that? Did I act appropriately?

Thoughts?

I don't see an issue.

MY rule of thumb is simple - if there feels like tension, I confront it and get it out in the open. I cahllenge it. I'd have probably made the overt gesture of saying Hello. I'd have been very nice and upbeat - but I'd have said Hello. Then - if she's a bitch, you're still taking the high road and showing you're not phased.

But I think you did great. Remember - she's an ex - that's it... She no longer exists in your personal space. If she wants back in - she should deserve to be back in. Thus far, she doesn't IMO.

You're progressing... daily.

RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Thanks RR.

The reason I said nothing was due to my level of intoxication. I knew it would be better for me to avoid her.

I wish I had said hello...but like I mentioned before she is very cold and seems to not want anything to do with me at this point.

I'm just going to stick w/ not contacting her.

Who knows what that will do, if anything. I figure it will help me cope and move forward.

Kudos. Most people when they're drunk - lose the filter and say shit they really shouldn't. You clammed up? Fucking strong!

I think you did fine. Engage her friends, be upbeat as shit - paint your picture as you want to be seen... they're hearing about all the bad about you - you're providing direct contrast. They'll figure it out sooner or later; she'll just look bitter and immature...and you've lost nothing.


RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

RR, you make a lot of sense!

From what bits I remember about that night/morning. I knew something was up when one of her friends came in and started talking with me. They never go to this bar. So, I just scanned the room while talking and did my best to maintain composure.

I don't know, it was such a kick in the balls her avoiding me. I gave it some quick thought and realized I should not approach her at all. Seemed legitimate at the time. Now I'm glad I did so.

You're one helpful guy.

It did sting. I feel like I'm back at square one. So I made a deal with myself to not go out for the next month. Hit the gym on schedule, work when I have opportunity to do so out of town and just be a total ghost on Facebook. If I do those things life will be easier for me. So, I'm just going to do it.

Any other suggestions will be appreciated.

These forums are very helpful. I would have never dreamed that so many people have had such similar experiences. It's a small strange world.

If you're 'going dark', make sure there's a story to show validity to your absence from the social scene. Working out of town is great! Make comments about working out of town - they'll work hugely (especially if your social circle & hers overlap at all online). By going dark, you shouldn't be trying to disappear as much as you are trying to temporarily remove focus.... Then, when you're back in focus - her view will be changed.

Ballsy gambit. I don't know if I'd do it - it's not my game. I always go for 'the next piece', but I suck at anything close to an LTR.

If you don't go dark, I'd suggest gaming other chicks - soon.

RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

The only thing I have to add is I wouldn't not go out at all. The opposite will help you much more, if you go out and meet new people or hang around other people who do not hang out with her.

At least for me if I stay at home and not go out I get involved in my thoughts which leads into a spiral of thinking about the girl. Going out will help your mind move on.

@ RR and Tr@vler,

Good points from both. The reason for me not to go out is to maintain my training schedule, booze hinders it greatly. Also, I run the incredible high risk of bumping into her. Small town, a lot of the same friends, and I don't want to see her for a while, until I'm comfortable again.

Good point on the out of town update, makes sense.

Gaming ladies, well, I'm not exactly sure of my confidence level at the moment. So, I will be with friends while I'm out of town and that always makes me feel great. Plus a bit of outdoors work always helps ease my mind.

Keep your thoughts coming. It helps, plus the added benefit of hearing a thought process I would have never came up with as a potential plan for myself is great. I like multiple view points. No matter how far off from my own view, know that they are not only listened to, considered, and appreciated.

Which leads me to the "going dark" on the social side. I think adding mystery is good. RR you make a valid point about leaving some hints, it will keep me from appearing butt hurt.