Building Social Proof
Lately, my recent wing B-Sweet and I have been going out a lot. I'm impressed with the methods that he showed me. I somehow forgot these things after I read the books. He is a fan of Mystery and Style much like mysel,f and is working on being better at NLP. I figure "Smooth and Sweet" it's a winning combination! The ladies love it too when we get to introduce ourselves.
Anyways, here is what I really wanted to talk to you guys about. When you are in a venue, large club, small bar, etc. it's important to build the "Social Proof" that Mystery talks about. Many of us including myself still have some AA in the back of our minds, but doing these things help approach the ones you want. I read a lot of field reports from a lot of different people. I read about you all opening sets, hanging out with their friends, and opening more sets only to have a difficult time from some HB6 or HB7 later on. Here is what I think is going on a lot, you're not building your social proof!
Why do it? Well, it is pretty easy to spot the players in the club or those that look like them. They are hanging back with their buddies and eye-balling all the girls, and are very obvious to anyone paying attention for more than a few seconds. Similarly, some guys being seen standing in a group, peering out into the field look like they are having a great time. When you aren't running a set you are losing social status, and start blending in with the walls. When that person finally does open a set, he will discover that it will be far more difficult because of his negative social proof.
Mystery~ "Whereas a Venusian artist, rolling in with his wing, is not going to be looking around at the people in the crowd. Rather, he's going to be talking to his wing, and it will appear as if they are two high-value guys having a great time together.
If he were looking around the venue, especially with a serious expression on his face, it would telegraph that he is looking for something more fun and of more value than the spot where he already is. But he isn't. He believes that the most fun and valuable spot in the field is his own spot, his own reality - and he is congruent with that."
1.) Follow the 3 second rule, always, when you don't life gets harder in a hurry.
2.) Talk to everyone! I know it sucks talking to guys, but like Mystery says, "Think of them as ugly girls." You're not trying to get anything out of the interaction except people to see you talking to everyone and being social. It's a great warm-up set too, when you can establish yourself as "Leader of Men."
3.) Even if you think they are a couple, open a man and woman two set. Several times I've been surprised it's a friend or brother. When in doubt, you have one more set that you've built social proof with, because you're a fun guy.
4.) It's important if you're with a wing to include them when you're opening sets or to allow him to open sets himself, and come over when you need it. Take turns with your wing, if you have one.
5.) Roll, from set to set. Do your best not to go to a set, then go hang out in the corner with your buddies. Then open another set later on in the night. If a HB9 or HB10 is watching she is going to see you as attempting to pickup women. If you rock on from set to set then you just look like a social and cool guy. The room opens up to you, and it becomes easier to merge sets if needed.
6.) Merge sets for the sake of merging sets introduce people to each other and get the party started. Everyone naturally gravitates away from each other but if you're the life of the party merging sets you are cool, and women are paying attention. Then it's very easy to isolate that girl from the two set, cause the obstacle now has a whole new group to socialize with.
We've implemented these and get great results. Guys (AFC's) are calling us to go hang out, women are calling us to setup day 2's. We have more "proximity alerts" than we use to have, and opening sets is far easier. So swallow your AA, before you walk into the venue. Maybe even open a set outside the venue waiting in line for practice, and build your social proof.
CHAT