I am totally depressed about this girl who keeps pushing me and makes me really depressed.My unfortunate problem is that for some reason I have to see her every day.
She used to like me but not anymore(we never had sex or kiss).She started seeing another guy and I told her I like her. But it makes the situation worse. I tried to pretend that I am seeing another girl and showing I don't have any feeling for her. Although I tried to find another HB but I was not successful and this girl totally paralyzed me.
I am totally depressed and honestly I am almost crying everyday.This is a real problem for me.She is a nice girl and she has feelings. But she has no idea about what's going on inside me.
My only goal is to be with her 1 time. I know she was in to me.
I just want to know if It could help if I tell her what is going on with me and how she makes my life in really bad situation.
I am not too young I am 29 and this the feeling that is totally destroying me.
Honestly, if I knew a person has this problem like me , I'd definitely help her.
Guys I know this the most AFC thing ever. But if you were me , what would you say her.
This is what I really want to know.

In the words of an amazing dude who is roaming this board as well:

Stop being a fucking vagina...

Common man. You never had sex and you never kissed her. In other words, she played you and by the looks of it, she is still playing you.

You tried to find another HB and you are not successful... do you go out at all? Common man, the world is filled with beautiful quality ladies and you sit at home crying?

Dont get me wrong. I ve been there as well. Very very bad relationship. But i had no trouble finding other attractive women.

you say she is a good girl and has feelings. Every girl has feelings, but lets face it: she doesnt really feel anything for you. No matter what she said or has done in the past which might be prove to you, in the end she is with somebody else and you are alone, crying. Those are the facts.

also one other thing: dont pretend anything. You are only fooling yourself. Accept the fact that you are in love with this girl. Except the fact that it hurts like hell. When you accept, it becomes just that tiny bit easier to deal with it. Open your eyes and look around you. Go out and enjoy yourself again. Make yourself happy by doing something you like doing.

And dont forget about this chick ever. Always remember so that you never again become the crybaby you are now. I know it helped me a lot.

cheers, cheer up and good luck!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

LD thank you for your warm support.
Honestly, I go 3 days a weeks out and I approached so many hbs since I met her.
Her pushing pushed me so hard to go after other girls and I tried really hard but
My biggest problem is my language which is a barrier.(I am from Europe)She is from Europe too.That's why she was great match for me.

About pretending : what can I do? I am about to crying in front of her. Because of my situation I have to see her every fucking day.I've been in huge pressure for 2 months because of her.
I think since I pretend I am seeing another girl she is pushing me more. I didn't want to look like a looser. I hate this image but I am breaking now.I don't know if she is playing but she really fucked me up.
I am thinking of just fucking it and telling everything to her. I don't think it's worth it to keep it by myself.

Write whatever you want to say to her on paper and burn it. 10 times. 20 times. 30 times. 40 times. Write it and burn it as many times until you feel relief. Don't give the paper to her. Don't say the words to her. Say it on paper as if you're actually talking to her. It will make the situation worse for the both of you if you told her.

Next, go out with your friends. Look at all of the beautiful girls out there. Have fun.

Writing your feelings down on paper is good therapy. It will make you feel better. Many of us, like you, went through the same process somehow at certain points in our lives although so few will have the guts to admit it. Some have handled the same situation well. Some not as well as the others.

Handle this as intelligently as you can. Write it on paper; then burn the paper.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Where do you live? Where in Europe are you from?

English girls love European men! Ive even thought about putting on a Spanish accent on a night out just to impress women!

hey mate.

glad to hear you are going out. You say you appraoched HB... so there are other nice girls out for you . That is also good. But if you approached... what are you looking for when you approach? I bet you are looking for a clone of the girl you are crying for now. At this time, i bet it shows that you put yourself in pain.

and it is not her who is doing this shit to you. It is you! You are paining yourself. She is gone, out of your reach. Face it.

I know i am a bit harsh here, but do you realize how silly the next sentences sound: "I am from Europe and she is from europe. that is why she was a great match for me." Dude, there are millions of girls in Europe. I dont know where you are now, what your mother tongue is and what language you are facing now.

But every problem/barrier can be turned into a strength. Ok, so you dont talk the language as good. Learn it! Learn it like your life depends on it! And let the girls help you. If that aint something that can work for you. I mean, there is nothing more funny then somebody trying to learn a language. Besides, if you are truly devious, you can say things, dirty things and act like you didnt really know what you just said. Suppose english is the new language, you might say to a girl: "Thanks for teaching! I think you are a lot of fuck!" Obviously you mean fun, but dear you, those words look so similar .

Dont be taught by only one girl! Use many other girls to teach you. Read up and learn by yourself, impress them!

Also, one other thing: dont go to the other girl to tell her how you feel Not like that. If it seems like she really really cares, then perhaps. But i dont think so. Let her be. Live and let live. That is how you should act towards her. Live and let live.

there were more things i wanted to say, but i forgot. If you got more questions, shoot! Good luck!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

I do understand what you feel 100%.

For years I was in love with a girl who I thought was perfect for me in every way. Beauty, nice family, highly educated etc.

I put her on a pedestal and often had dreams of us being together forever. (IDIOT)

She of course knew I liked her a lot but not my inner feelings of love. I was weak and not Alpha at all and had no idea how to behave like a man.

In short my attempts at gaining her affection were in a word PATHETIC.

All I had to do really was take her by the hand and say 'come here'! etc but I used to be really nervous and shy. At least I should have taken my shot as to never know is a hard pill to swallow.

The simple truth is that in order to move on I had to let her go!

For me and all the other women in the world who need me and will be there for me. They deserve to have their chance with me.

It is so hard and even now if I could travel back in time I probably would, but this time I would show HER who the fuckin' boss is!! lol

Best cure I know? Have 2/3 girls on the go at all times and never obsess or even think of of only 1 women

Time heals all wounds (well most of then anyway).

I wish I had started learning all the stuff years ago.

Best to you.

Hey dude.. I just read your first post and I can relate to it from my previous experiences! I meet a russian girl once that is definetly an HB9 or even 10! She is beautiful! I never took a move because I was afraid of getting rejected and all! Anyway, after few months we were still hanging out. However, by that time I was thrown in the friend zone.. She meet another guy few days after and she got in a relationship with him.. It was a nightmare for me..


Anyway, the only solution is to get away from her.. Try to act normal around her ( I bet you when she is around few words come out of your mouth as you don't know what to talk about anymore..) I got away from this russian girl and meet a really nice Colombian girl at the time! The russian found out and I guess she got jealous! She texted me saying she misses me and shit , but I didn't give a fuck at all! YOU need to let go! Honestly, you are looking to waste a long time getting over her if you don't do anything about it!


Go and find yourself a nice girl. However, this time don't take long to collect your fruits or else it will get withered.. Good luck, and stop crying champ! life is so fucken short for that!

_________________
In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

GREAT advice here by all.

Oneitis sucks - knowing it helps stop it - having people help you man the fuck also helps.

The next time you think of her, kick yourself in the balls. Repeat that process until you stop thinking of her.


RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

lol.

You need to stop thinking about this girl before you develop clinical depression or have a nervous breakdown. Then your life will be ruined. Get a hobby.

This girls has serious faults. Why don't you make a list of them? Matter fact I want you to begin referring to this girl as that "dumbbitch" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzfNl0QxIwE

When ever you think of the other guy think you are better than him and she made the wrong choice

Go out and go talk to other women.

Being stuck on one girl is from putting the pussy on a pedestal. You put the pussy on a pedestal when you have a overly romanticdized view of women, when your pride gets involved and when you don't have other options.

Guys,
Despite my good look I've never been good with girls and I can say it's getting worse now.Honestly, I think I follow a wrong pattern toward girls I like.
I tried to show I don't like her anymore and freez her out and tried to avoid her as much as possible and acting like there is another girl I like. But it didn't work.The last 2 month of my life was really bad.
I want to forget her, but as I said several times when I see her, all of feelings come back and I tried to make things normal but I can see she is getting nervous too when I start talking to her.
BTW , I live in US and my English is ok but you know how important language is for building rapport. I had problem finding ideal girl before meeting her too.
I work out everyday and try to be active but I am depressed and can't live very well.I don't want this situation to be continued since I can sense it's going to get really serious.
Btw ,I went on a vacation for a while to forget her and I didn't tell her, she called me and texted me and I asked me if I am doing ok.
BTW, about her personality: she is shy, so polite and she never says no to me.
But I think she is self centered and she is getting hit by guys left and right.
I don't know if she knows how I feel.
Maybe if she knows how I feel, it could change everything since she will change my life forever in every terms. I don't know what's going on in her head. But my only move was asking her out and telling her I found her interesting and since she started seeing another guy she postponed it (kinda rejecting it).

Dude, she is not your mom she does not care about how you feel. You sound like a little boy. Girls don't like you becuase you like them, girls like you because you attract them.

YOu don't need to freeze girls out, you just need to build attraction in whatever way is best for you.

If you want to deal with the feelings you have for her, you need to focus on her negatives and only on her negatives. This will change how you feel, and she will become less attractive to you. Mental Toughness.

Relax go talk to other girls. Get up, get out.

Great advice from IwantEasyLove.

Best of luck.

Ben,

Here's my opinion: I think at one point everyone on this board went through what your going through - it's normal. But YOU can't let your outward problems internalize in your mind - it can destroy you. PU is a game, and part of any game is losing - it's illogical to think that we can get all of the girls we sarge. It's just apart of life. Never fight for someone who refuses to be in your life, because if they don't want to be then they don't deserve to be.

The best revenge is success. It's normal to cry, it's normal to be hurt - that's how we're designed. But you have to get yourself out of this mentality! Every time you catch yourself thinking about her, stop yourself. What if the greatest girl you could ever meet is out there waiting to talk to you but you can't get to her cause your at home depressed. Ben, work on yourself - hit the gym - build a body that's irresistible; exercising will also release endorphins in your brain that will make you happier.

Keep in mind, it's better if you lose the game because your only going to learn from it, thus winning more. Lesson 1: Never put a girl on a pedastool - she's no different from any other girl and if you don't game right, she'll show you she's no different.

If you need any help, just pm me brother.