I met this HB9 on Match.com. She initiated contact by winking at me. I responded w/ a message but didn't hear back from her so I said fuck it. Out of nowhere, she sends me a message 5 weeks later asking if I "wanted to get drinks sometime soon?". I send her a message on Match a few days later w/ my number and said Thurs. might work. She sends me a text an hour later saying that Thurs. would work for her. When I don't respond that day, she sends me another message the next day (Sun) on Match making sure I got her correct number because she "hadn't heard from me"... I text the next day (Monday) w/ a suggestion on a meetup spot for Thurs. I hear nothing back until Thurs. when she says, "Sorry for late reply!!! I'm gonna have to reschedule for next week, hope that is ok"."

I am pissed about the flake but text her 3 days later just to feel her out (Sun). Our converstaion goes real well/gets pretty hot, and it seemed that she was getting very turned on. She immediately asks me out for another date for this week. I say I have another date on Wed. but agree to Thurs. She gets really jealous when I tell her I have another date on Wed, and says she is "not rooting for this girl".

She texts the next night (Mon.) jokingly asking if I am excited about my date w/ the other girl. I tell her I cancelled the other date (the truth) as I had not really wanted to go and was not interested in this other girl. We text for awhile, she seems very interested, and I make sure she texts last.

The next night (Tues.) I text her, she replies an hour later and after I don't reply to her 1st text, she sends a 2nd text anxious to hear from me...We chat, it goes well, and we agree on a meetup spot (although not a specific time) for Thurs. I make sure she ends the texting again.


She texts me at noon today (Thurs.), saying, "Hey you...I'm not gonna be able to make it tonight "...I was surprised as she seemed to be comfortable and excited about meeting....Then she texts again at 11pm saying, "I'm sorry"

Any suggestions...I plan on freezing her out. She has now flaked twice (and she was the one asking me out both times!). I am only considering giving her one more shot because she is smoking hot, and I must say that our previous text conversations flowed really well.

Any advice would be great!

listen as soon she cancels things last minute the first time...thats when your allowed to get mad and frustrated you cant be all like "thats okay call me later"

you have to show her that your mad that she canceled last minute

like this "You cant make it tonight? well thats a major bummer i *insert important thing you did to make her feel bad about canceling the date here*

she says : really? im soooo sorry

(now at this point you have to let her know that your not a push over by hinting disinterest)

you: You got my number so give me a call sometime i gotta go right now good bye!

(when i did this one time with a girl i was seeing right after i texted "give me a call sometime bye" she immediately called me saying "whats wornge? what did i do? are we okay?)

you allowed this girl to yank your chain 3 times so this next time unload the rage!! the semi rage...
dont come across as needy

She texted me again tonight at 11:45pm saying, "Hi"

I had a really strong feeling that she was going to text again...What is strange is we seemed to connect really well when we have texted as things were getting hot, and I had a feeling that she was very interested. I have never had someone flake twice, and then keep on reaching out to me...Anybody have an experience like this or any advice? Planning on freezing out for a few days and probably mentioning the flaking

Thanks

Today she texted again at 12pm saying, "Are you mad at me?"

I kind of feel like freezing her out for at least another day and then send a text referring to the flaking and saying we should talk on the phone. Asking someone out and flaking twice then texting them 3 days in a row is really unusual. Wondering if she has anxiety or other issues...

She texted me again at 7pm saying, "Aw, well I am sorry about that" That was 6 straight unanswered texts she had sent...

I finally went ahead and texted her back, "You asked me out twice and cancelled twice which is a bummer"

HB: " Ya and life is crappy some times and things come up. I would rather meet you when I am really into it than a day whn a million other things have gone a certain way. Only one time to make a first physical impression but internet dating should have some flexibility"

(At this point I am tired of the texting game and call her phone as I have NOT YET hear her voice, and she does not pick up the phone)

I text: "I know life can be crappy some times for sure! I called cause I was curious to hear your voice to make you are aren't some 58 year-old dude...lol. Are you shy?" (She doesn' reply and must be wanting to see if I will send more texts and chase...)

I really don't want to play any more games, and I feel like I need to talk to this girl on the phone before even considering the thought of trying to meet up w/ her again....

How about the next time you guys organize a date you be the one that flakes.

Change the tides my friend.

And after you've done your freeze-out act like you've forgotten all about those dates she's flaked on you. Be unaffected, be ALPHA. Don't get mad.

Sun hawk,

I was in a similar situation as you a few weeks ago. I know you are probably thinking about her a lot and wondering about the solution to the problem. Mine would flake on dates but would initiate contact and send me pics of her model shoot. I got sick of her games and moved on. She initiates contact, and I tell her all the awesome things I have been upto. She knows where to find me. If she asks me out, usually I am too busy to hang out. And this is not me playing some mind game, this is me actually having other plans.

I have read before that you shouldn't get angry when a chick flakes. It shows that you are making a big deal out of it. Always have a back up plan. Nowadays, whenever I have a date set up, I make a backup plan. If a chick flakes on me twice, I say bye bye. Why? Because there are plenty of fish in the sea and I have my pick. Why would you waste my time on this one chick then?

Ask yourself this, in your interaction with this chick, who's in control? Her or you? Her flaking is silly games, well that's how I see it. But is it making you lose control? Making you chase her? Or are you not affected because you couldn't care about the outcome with this chick as you have many others to chose from?

I am no pro at the game. I still have a long way to go. But with chicks the less you care about the outcome the easier it is... What has been helping me lately is, every week, I need to find at least 5 numbers. Regardless of where I am at with whichever chick.

_________________
Silver

I think you might have to seriously consider the possibility your HB9 is a man. If they look good, try to keep you hooked and tease a lot and avoid direct contact (eg. Phonecalls, webcam,...) those are some big clues.

Yeah, I have wondered due to the flakes and no phone call if it could be a dude hence my last text implying that to her? that she might be a dude, and I get no response at all for a week....hmmm. That would be pretty creepy given the writing style has been so feminine. I have nothing to lose at all now and have been focusing on other girls so I'll treat this as a game and try to get her? on the phone. If she won't talk on the phone, then she is probably a he...hope this is not really a dude, but it is very possible in this warped world we live in...

the ideas not to show anger in your text
if she flakes

also it depends on the situation if your just getting to know her then you gotta show no anger
at all just be indifferent
like lets say its an hour before the date your ready ...you got all your shit together all you gotta do is start the car and head over to the rendezvous point to meet her
your getting the chills the butterflies in your stomach

then you receive a text from her saying " Hey Dave! listen i cant make it tonight my BFF just got home from her 2 month vacation in austrailia and i really want to catch up with her sorry.."
what are you going to say to her this? " she got back from austrailia? wow thats so cool...dont worry about it thats okay! ill call you so we can go out next time bye!" *Facepalm*
this would be a better response...

"what? Really? well then you got my number call me sometime bye"

saying something like this would get a girl to respect you a lot more
in the end these kind of things are a shit test so prepare yourself for them

if you are okay with getting stepped on then you will get stepped on again and again and again

also i like the idea of flaking on them
is it really that effective?

I joked w/ this girl that she should just come out and be honest about being a dude...that made her get defensive, qualify herself and she immediately gave me her full legal name and friended me on Facebook to prove that she was who she said she is...lol.

She continues to text me and show interest...I'll respond to her texts but not going to invest any energy or time until I meet her in person

Lol.. Been goin through this with a girl for over a year now. She's a 10. Slow play brotha. Til the end of time if you have to. Be patient, dot have expectations, and just ride the wave. She'll put out if the right moment comes.