New to the forums as a poster....read through the rules.

I have a kind of oneitis/dumped/wtf next question. As in I am going to have to see her briefly for the first time in a about a month, soon. I have a question about how to play this.

Short version. I went from myself to an AFC over the course of our short dating period. I realized it. Before I had time to react, I got the classic, "it isn't working out". Threw me for a loop. LJBF was offered, I kind of allowed it for a couple weeks, then told her, no, I can't do that. Talked to her once a week since. Been a bit over a month. Now she texted and wants to return a few items of mine.

I have more but don't want my first post here removed and me banned. So, tell me where to put this and I will.

I don't have a sp. This may be my first genuine oneitis ever. It blew my mind.

So, where do I put this topic?

Hey man, welcome. Don't worry, this is the right place. You won't be banned.

So you have oneitis. I'm an expert, and also in how to get over it. No contact, out of sight out of mind. You go out and do things. Even if you don't feel like it, go out with your friends, have fun, talk to other girls. This will be huge. If you talk to other girls you will realize that this one girl isn't all that special. It's just chemicals in your body man.

So do the next thing, just do stuff, seriously. It is vital that you do not see her or talk to her. Guess what, she's probably onto the next guy already. You should be onto the next girl.

Good luck and start learning!

Excellent.

Here is the situation I'm going to face in the next couple days or so.
The Oneitis texted and said, She was going to bring my stuff by. I blew her off because I'm busy, gym, running, training, etc.

Then I had to postpone today as well, same scenario.

She is annoyed, I can tell by the response from her. Whatever

Thing is, a few weeks ago, I was in total beta mode. I realized my mistake, like I said in the op. It was just too damn late. Again, whatever.

My question is when she drops off this shit, how should I deal?
I really don't know if want her back now. I would like to see If I can make her chase but that is probably ego talking. I want to make sure that my "no worries I'm fine without you" attitude shows without any faking. It's how I feel...but there is that little daily ting....of you can still have her floating in my head.

And to the 2nd poster, Yeah, she has probably been with someone else. Doesn't really phase me. I got myself focused on me. I have a feeling that me being aloof and not concerned will shine through.

Shock and Awe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoF9Tpl0XC8


If you want this girl you have to change the way she thinks of you and ultimately how she feels about you. She has the perception that you are only friend material. The best way to change an impression is a Shock and Awe Demonstration of Value. i know from personal experience that demonstrating value dramatically can turn women in "groupies" and they lose all self-respect trying to approach you, They will chase you.

There are two ways you can change this girls impression of you. 1.) Shock and Awe- one or a few dramatic things to complete change her opinion 2.) Repeated pressure...this can work if your in the friendzone. You just hang out with her a lot and make sure all the times you hang out are really fun then...the attraction comes back. (Check out Rico and Dizzy in Starship Troopers)

However, this is one girl. ANd its always unhealty to put the PU77Y ON A PEDESTAL!!!! Talk to other people

Thanks for the reply.

Shock and Awe....awesome? Yeah! But I am going to go with what is already going naturally which is:

Anyway, went and had drink with a bro and gave this all some thought. I have a busy weekend/week ahead anyway, so, I'm just going to do a nc/freeze-out. It can't hurt. Who knows what that will do. I like NC for it's simplicity. Not only that the last text from her was her saying she will let me know when she will stop by. I said okay. So I figure NC may be a nice move here. Even if I am seen as an LJBF by her SPAM. She will be wondering what has me busy. It will be entertaining.

If there is any interest in seeing what happens with this, in a week or so I will post.

Goodluck. I usually don't like freeze out, although they will work. I've had them work. However, i don't like them because i like to be in control of what will happen by my own actions.

The main reason I'm willing to do the NC/freeze out is because it will take zero effort. And I am interested to see what happens as a direct result of this.

If you have another suggestion, I am more than willing to hear you out.

At this point. I only want to see if I can get her to chase. I feel like I owe it to myself.

The only way she will chase and the freeZeout will work is if there is some attraction. If there isn't she will simply not care or just wonder why you're not contacting her so much anymore.

Yea, this sounds like a good idea...

if you want to make a fool of yourself.

Hey Agent!

What kind of insight do you have?


Also, to whom ever mentioned it....yes she is seeing someone. I already had that gut feeling about that. I harbor no ill will toward her. This just means to me....the game is afoot.

So, now, of course, I do want to find a new way to make her chase.

I briefly spoke with her and she mentioned, "You should know I'm seeing someone." I actually laughed. Not a fake, this hurts laughs. Laughed. Then replied, "I figured that. And as far as my stuff goes, don't worry about it. I will get it whenever."

I know that attraction is low to zero right now. I also know that she was seen crying and complaining just a few days ago about dating cruel people (not me). I find this both sad and relieving. I know it hasn't been easy for her.

So, freeze out is a total no go. Repeated pressure, not happening, since I know she doesn't want to see me.

Right now, I've become focused on the gym along with what I normally do. I added the gym because I can always use another healthy outlet. I have plenty to keep me happy, which I am. Oddly enough, I got over her quicker by reading posts here, and another blog, taking the advice given and mashing in some of my own ideas. It seems to have worked. Either that or my brain just gave up trying to listen to my heart. Every time I caught myself thinking about her I would force myself to do something; i.e. go run, do pushups, and I would also shout from the inside to "STOP".

But, I digress. Move on? Yes, of course. But I am determined to make her chase at some point. So if any of you were going to make a plan for down the road to make someone chase....what would you do?

by dint of this post you are already emotionally invested. you have already lost.

if you want to win this game you would do best to forget her and move on.

you are lucky you dont work with your oneitis. i do. its a fucking nightmare.

. No guts, no glory

. He does not care about you. He just said that because he does not like me and wants to undercut everything I say. You will never get this girl back if you don't change how she thinks of you. However, you sound like what you really want is revenge...

Why do you want her to chase you? If you were truly happy you wouldn't be caring about her at all, whether she chases you or not.

You are trying to tell us all is well with you and you will move on, yet you still want her to chase you. This makes no sense. As Rufas said, you are emotionally invested. Get the fuck out now, because she isn't and it is only going to go downhill. DO NOT SEE OR TALK TO HER for at least a week or two, then see how much you want her to chase you again.

Good point.

Sorry to hear that. Has to be a rough situation. I live close to mine, same circle of people. I just stay busy and hang with different people from a different crew. Easy.

As far as emotional investment. Yes and no. A month ago total wreck. Two weeks after. Bad but much better. Now. Now I just want to improve me and bump into her in 6 months to a year after my I have accomplished two of my long-ish term goals. Goals I have been shooting for and can now see, within my minds eye(not getting all metaphysical here), they are clear. I like it. I'm going to get it. I feel better today than I have in a very long time.