Ok, so there's this new girl at my work - very cute. I haven't talked to her much because we're in different departments.

We had a three hour private meeting once where we worked on stuff (not sure if she stayed in the meeting because I didn't really end it, or what) and we seemed to get along ok, made jokes about the boss, etc.

She doesn't seem to go out of her way to talk to me, but she seems friendlyish. She is, however, taller than I am slightly, and has mentioned a preference for taller guys (which I know isn't an issue necessarily).

However, I got my haircut, and went with a very masculine look. She walked into my office (to talk to my office mate about a project) and stopped herself, did a double take and said "NICE HAIRCUT, $name!"

How can I tell if she's attracted to me? Her little girlfriend in the office (who is less attractive) definitely is, and goes out of her way to say hi to me, talk to me, etc. I've been flirting with her a bit, but I just haven't had many opportunities to with hot girl.

I've found that apparently all of the new female hires have gotten together to try to guess my age, which I find funny, as I'm almost 27, but look 20-22 (I take good care of my skin and body).

I ask because this girl is QUITE hot, I'm not all that worried about issues at my job (planning on going to grad school in not too long, so even if things went sour, oh well) and she and I both seemed to share similar backgrounds.

How do you all propose I get to know her better? Or at least tell if she's attracted to me? I've overheard her type is "tall, muscularly built" which I'm not (I'm shortish, though fit, but not really "muscular")

If you can't tell. Just assume everything is an IOI it makes life a lot easier.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM1RChZk1EU

Well, that's the thing, she doesn't really give me many IOIs. I mean, she has laughed at my jokes, but I'm genuinely funny. I've had very little chance to interact with her, too. The haircut was the one and only time she has commented on my appearance.

And viewing everything as an IOI is great, but at work, when you're at a professional job, that could go poorly...

Though I try to build up my mythology with all of the female new hires. They're all trying to guess my age, as I said, which is hilarious.

I'm also the only single guy at work with any game whatsoever. And besides the being short, the most attractive.

What part of JUST ASSUME EVERYTHING IS AN IOI do you not understand? lol

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM1RChZk1EU

Assuming everything is an IOI at work is a recipe for f-ing disaster.

That being said, since I've had my haircut, she's been giving me more IOIs, in the rare situations we get to interact with each other. When she came into my office to talk to my coworker today, her eyes lit up and she smiled.

Here... I know this story:

It's a co-worker deal, but it's different with you two - it always is... So you game her. You get a date. Bravo.

You take her out a few times, you play 'just the tip', then you finally fuck her a few times. Things are great because she's just that cool. But wait... What the fuck? Now it's over! Cool - now it's in that awkward stage.

Bottom line: It ends bloody when you fuck a co-worker. BUT - if you don't give a fuck - go for it.

She's open for gaming - are you open for the shitstorm that follows? THAT is the only question that matters.

And yeah, I know - she is different - they all are...

RR



edit: If she's just DTF, then it's all good as it is - if it gets weird after that - you remind her of the conversation where it was clear you were just having a great time together - no commitment - and you're in the clear. Hit it proper and you may get other chicks at work as well.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

talk to this girl more, figure out if she is cool and actually worth hanging out with

as for not knowing if she likes you, learn how to test compliance, stop being afraid of testing, declare interest in a date or something and ask her out, how you frame this since you work together is up to you, but I suggest that the frame is crystal clear something like a formal date, it really saves your ass in work situations, the frame is more formal and can't really be thought of as harassment unless you persist after dis-interest has been declared

just invite her out and stop worrying about it

she shows up, good news

she doesn't show up, you know she is not all that interested or she would have made time for you

GOOD LUCK

The project we're working on together has been ramping up - so we're spending a lot (well, a bit) more time together.

I have only good news to report for today so far.

We had two meetings together today, one of them about an hour, alone, and another about two hours, most of it with a female coworker (who eventually left because she felt all third wheel, though she said she was "getting distracted")

She was very friendly during, we talked a bit, joked. I had her laughing her ass off in the second meeting. The jokes were going over the other girl's head too (she's not as bright), so it was mostly just me and hot girl getting along.

When combined with the fact that once less smart girl left, she basically confided in me that she didn't understand how less smart girl could work there (which seemed sorta bitchy/character assassinating on less smart girl), made me thinks she views me as competent. We also had a "moment" (particularly nerdy) when she mentioned she was going to make the equations for our boss, when I had assumed I'd have to.

She said "Making equations is the only way to quantify data", and we both agreed in a way that i could tell was fundamental to both of our world views (i.e., she actually seems to think similarly to me, which means she's actually quite the catch...)

Add that to the fact that apparently she's just been wearing gigantic heels, and is also shorter than me!

I'm not sure she's into me, but she is certainly more friendly and we get along quite fantastically, so I'm probably going to keep pushing to get to know her. So far all signs point to go.

ask her out man, it seems you have rapport built with her, she knows you now enough to comply, gotta test that compliance and screen her or it will go no where and you will just invest yourself in her more and make it harder to move on if she is not interested

at least once the frame is established that your intentions are sexual, you can get her number and your frame can shift more towards reflecting these intentions, even if she is somewhat flaky, if you ask her out and she complies with the idea and gives her number, you have a base, if you can't bring enough value to the thought of a meetup past that point for her and she starts flaking in a pattern, then it is a waste of time, and if she is not receptive to the idea of giving you her number or flat turns you down, then she is also a waste of time, but you have to know if it is a waste of time or not, don't live in the unknown, test the compliance, it will save you time/energy/and possible emotional stress

if you are going to invest time and energy in a target, do so after screening for some compliance, not before, investing to much in a chick without testing the waters or projecting your intent is an easy way to find yourself catching oneitis and landing yourself in the ''friend zone'', make sure it is actually worth the effort, before just putting in the effort

no compliance = waste of time

Let me explain - I'm not exactly afraid to approach women anymore for the most part (don't think I'm really afraid to approach her, to be honest) and I know most of the advice here is going to be for the guy scared of talking to a girl at a bar. That's not me. The last time I was at a bar (with another girl, mind you), I motor-boated a math teacher after putting balloons in her shirt. I'm bigger on the "this is a professional job and being careful and discreet is useful".

That being said, do you think it's already time to ask for her number? I'll be honest, she seems to have fun around me, but I don't know how much rapport I've built yet. If I was still a student, and this was class, sure I'd ask her out about now, but I'm worried about doing so in a work situation. I don't believe she would "friend" zone me - we're simply not to that level of intimacy, and there's still sexual tension. I'll be honest, I don't really believe in the friend zone, as I have sex with most of my female friends and pretty much consider it standard.

And I'm not particularly worried about oneitis. I'm typically pretty resistant to it, and the last time I manifested it, was with a girl I had been sleeping with for 6 months who dumped me. I'm skilled enough to get girls pretty easily, and I always have ready takers. Hell, front door girl (different girl) at my gym was flirting with me today (I hadn't confirmed it before today, as she was only there rarely in the mornings, but she was not just giving me work friendliness, it was absolutely flirtiness). Her I absolutely will hit on the next time I see her.

Let me see hot girl at work's reaction to me now.

Also, a question - do you think her choice of shorter shoes was chosen specifically because she'd be working with (shorter) me?

1) A hot chick is the same as any other chick - after you get past their bitch shield.
2) I don't think I've ever, once, even if there was a fire, wondered if a woman chose certain shoes to wear because of dating me.
3) Fucking ask her out. You obviously are prepared to handle whatever fallout occurs - so pull the trigger. Waiting = her fucking another dude.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Yea yea yea, she was giving me IOI's today, it's pretty clear she's attracted.

What venue do you recommend taking her to? Work lunch? Coworker thing? She asked me if I was going to the sporting event my work is throwing, and I told her yes. But that's not for a few weeks.

Where's a local establishment that has decent music, a good vibe and an easy SPAM?

I've got places along the beach here - small dive bars up to local hangouts with live music... those are great for an evening get together over drinks.

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.