I met a girl a couple of months ago and played the game slow in the beginning. I think we had sex on the third or fourth date. Slow for my standards, but extremely fast in her opinion. Things developed quite fast thereafter and we were almost like bf/gf when she suddenly took a huge step back. After about one week without seeing her I decided to have "the talk" with her to find out what was going on. She said that I apparently had more feelings for her then she had for me and that she didn't want a bf at the current time and that she needed some time on her own. I told her that she was correct on the part about the feelings, but acted as if I didn't care that much...

My strategy for the coming days was to try to switch sides with her. Try to get her to become the one that needed me. This worked amazingly well to begin with. She contacted me every day for the next week and each time I found an excuse for why I couldn't meet her. But at the same time saying that she was more than welcome to join me and my friends at whatever we were going to do. I felt this actually worked quite well as she after only 7 days almost begged me to come meet her. However, I didn't succeed in the part where she got to meet me in my social comfort zone. (It seems as if she is very hesetating to meet me in social settings because she is afraid we will be considered to be a couple.)

After about 10 days with this game she called me late at night and asked me to come sleep over. Guys will be guys and I couldn't pass on this one. I played it cold when I was around her and got her to take the first steps all the time that evening/night. Some days went by without me calling her, but the last two evenings/nights I have been spending with her. I asked her last night what the status of our relationship was since she obviously didn't need time alone. She said that she wanted to see me and to be with me, but didn't want a relationship. She also said that she wanted to have me as a boyfriend at the days she was lonely. (Wtf? I am not a teddy bear!)
We mutually agreed that we should just be FWB. She actually proposed that we should make it an exclusive FWB deal, but as I said to her: You can't have it both ways...

My consern now is that I am becoming her "hobby boyfriend". It's like having a girlfriend for like 2 out of 7 days a week. Very frustrating! She actually made me breakfast in bed the last time i slept at hers. In my opinion that's far beyond normal FWB behaviour. We do everything a normal couple would do, except we aren't social. That last part bothers me, because I think the key to getting her to have feelings for me is for her to see that other girls are attracted to me.

My questions are:
How do I get this girl to develop feelings for me and to make her want to hang out more than 1-2 days a week?
And:
How do I get her to show up to meet me in public?

Just flip it on her, pull back a bit and let her be the one to begin chasing you. Start to reply to her text messages late and sometimes don't even reply at all. On the next date you guys have flake on her and on the one after that don't try and touch her at all. Just play it cool fun, funny but distant. This will cause her to want to chase you to get things back to the way they were before; and she will maintain this pursuit as long as you maintain the new frame above.

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She wants you only 2/7 days as a FWB? Go into "her" game and date others women rest of the week. Even if you are not breaking any of your "FWB rules", it'll create jealousy and jealousy is a powerful tool to understand attraction.

FWB is a Friend ==> don't act like a boyfriend

If she is jealous, she'll maybe turn 2/7FWB into something more serious.
If not, be congruent with what you want: you are not a teddybear (aka AFC), YOU are the alpha male and it's normal that she wants you, you are sexual human being and you like her and the "Benefit" of FWB but it's not the kind of relationship that you are looking for. In FWB, there is "Friends" and she must understand that if you meet another girl who want the same kind of relation as YOU want, the other girl "wins" all and the FWB is over.

YOU are the prize, You make the rules.

That's exactly what I did after she said she wanted time on her own. I canceled our first and the second date and did rearly touch her on the third. But when she lays into me in the sofa I can't just push her away?

As I said: this game worked very well. But on the fourth date I was back to basic again.
I guess I failed to stick to the frame you described. But it is damn difficult to keep my hands to myself when all I want to do is touch her. But I will give it another try. If I manage to pull this off I deserve a medal!

But what do you think about having sex with her? Imo if I refuse to have sex with her it will expose my game. No guy would turn down sex if he doesn't have a hidden agenda right? (and I doubt I would be able to)

jealousy.

this girl obviously has some feelings for you. and she is fine with not wearing the GF badge. as long as no other girl wears that badge.

she is your FWB 2 days a week, right? well, find a date for 3 days a week. or at least, have another FWB for 3 days a week whom you can push to her as a date. watch the results.

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

Ran into this same issue once, and here's what I did to get past the FWB status. She called/texted me for two days with minimal responses and froze her out at the end of the week and invited her out to join me with friends, and throw something in there, like: "if you think you're cool enough to hang out with all of us, you should join us," or something along those lines. By the end of the night she saw what my real friends were and wanted more than that. There were girls flocking to us at the pub, and she wasn't about to have any of that. If you look like you're a puppy dog following her around, and all she wants is FWB status, you're not going to move past it. Like others have said in this post, be alpha.

About keeping her hands off of you when you two are alone -- its quite simple don't set yourself up for it. Do something outside, chilling watching a movie/tv alone at your place is setting the mood for it, and if you're outside walking in public or out at a restaurant/pub it'll make it a little easier. If she asks to go back to your place, be like, I got plans with some friends after this and feed her a line. The second a woman thinks she has you wrapped around her finger and a puppet you need to flip that shit. Take control!

That's all I got for now anyway. Good luck!

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JD

I'm a bit scared to play the jealousy card on this one. She is a decent girl. The reason that she wanted us to be exclusive is that she hates one night stands and the reason I refused the exclusive FWB deal is because I am certain she is not going to fool around with anyone else.

That's why I am more into the push/pull strategy. But...

She just got out of a 3 year long relationship and she is a 9.5-10 if I didn't mention it earlier. This makes everything a lot more difficult. A plus on my behalf is that she said that I don't make contact as much as she is used to by other guys. But since she is an almost 10 she has never been in a situation where she has needed to be the one that makes contact. Will a 10 get as needy as a normal girl?

Maybe Im getting paranoid about this one. I guess Im caught in the oneitis trap.

Is the jealousy card a high risk game?
and
Does the pull/push strategy work on a girl that has 10 different guys texting her at the same time?

yes. you can very easily lose the girl for good.
just to let you know, I played this exact scheme on my current GF to get her to move from "one day at a time" to "I love you".
it worked, but not effortlessly. I had to hurt her and break her heart a few times, and when she broke down and decided she had had enough, she decided she didn't want to see me anymore. at that point, I talked her into exclusivity. be ready for the drama if you play this card.

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)