read mine and the above comment until it all sinks in!!!!!!!!

pm me if you wanna, i was in a similiar situation to you with a girl who is now my gf, i acted beta for ages, didn't get my end away until i fucked her off, so i think i have a ton of experience of this

Right, she in on her Europe trip SPAM so I won't hear from her until she gets back. I imagine she probably is wondering why I didn't reply to her as I always do - I'll ignore the inevitable "Hey just got back, had a great time. How are you x" when she gets back. We will see just how interested she is in me in due course I guess.

Thanks for the input Ten, I definitely messed up that night and I know I did. What I will say is that I will NEVER fuck a girl in a relationship, regardless of what people might say on here. So I know she likes me, it is really now creating a reason for her to take that further rather than just having all my texts and a boyfriend too. She is always text flirting me when he is not there, I can tell when she is seeing her boyfriend or not - so I'm obviously giving her something he isn't. He is a bit of a douchebag anyway (no job or education and shouts at her etc) I'll stop talking completely and see how that affects her as she has no incentive to be with me at the moment. That is how I see things now anyway.

Thanks League, cool. Would be good if you PM me how you turned this around with your current GF and some background on it.

No prob man we're here to help. League has some solid advice, you should PM him.

Trust me this girl HAS interest in you. But there are some rules that are gold that you MUST follow....

1. The freeze out is COMPLETE. DO NOT respond to any texts (better not to even read them trust me, they'll start fucking up your brain, that's why she sends them)

2. WAIT until she's fucking calling like crazy. You're the nice guy in her life, but she likes assholes (current BF). You have to be less of the nice guy if you want to fuck her (just admit that you do basically wanna fuck her cause I haven't heard you say it... I sense a strange sort of oneitis - read up on it if you don't know what it is).

3. Personally imo the chick probably has some serious self-esteem issues (those chicks usually go for assholes). DO NOT jump into a relationship, and don't stop seeing other chicks if you're able to turn this around and get in her panties.

Peace.

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Fuck with her mind and her body will follow.

Will do, glad it does seem she has interest in me.

1. is no prob, I'll read them to put up here or to PM league etc to see what you guys think. 2. I find unlikely as she has never called me other than the "accident" bullshit as you called it, but I'll see what happens. Apprantly calling me would be "unfair" on the bf too.

I had a read up on oneitis, I'm not sure if this is me. I definitely read a lot into her actions and do think she is a lot more interesting and attractive than other girls I talk to - BUT this does not stop me getting other girls' numbers and gaming them.

I had a read on more "PUA lingo" and I seem to be an odd kinda "Orbiter" - a bit like the "cool friend" who genuinely likes talking etc and would fuck her (if she was single in my case) but I haven't moved on from being attracted to her like it says as she keeps messing with me and flirting etc.

She does seem to need to feel validated by me, the odd thing is she doesn't think her boyfriend is a dick - but I guess that is the same old story and I should stop being so nice.

Shes no doubt into you, she just thinks he's higher value then you.

you're on the right track (thought wise at least, now you have to transform thoughts into corresponding actions)
this is the stuff you have to STOP doing. Stop thinking from her point of view. Forget that she HAS a point of view, and focus on what YOU think and want. One of my best friends reads into girls' actions all the time, always negatively. STOP.
I don't like the term. I say oneitis because you devote way too much thought energy into this one chick. Orbiters imo just orbit without really much investment (thought-wise), though that's my opinion.

Absolutely. STOP doing it and eventually she'll come busting down your door. But you have to DROP HER totally (or using my metaphor, get the fuck out of her purse, you're not an item she can carry around to get whenever she feels like), so she'll come looking for you.

Report back with updates... Peace.

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Fuck with her mind and her body will follow.

Right, well I'll make clear the aim is to get her as a girlfriend - like league did with his current GF, but I'm keeping options open in the meantime.

I'll ignore the texts when she gets back. Some of you suggested I give short replies saying I'm busy also - I am going to be very busy over the next month and will be down in Texas for meetings etc.

Do you think I should wait until she is calling me (if that happens) or asking why I am ignoring her before saying I'm too busy etc? What is the best way to take away the validation and increase my value, without giving the impression she is wasting her time on me and should concentrate on her bf instead?

I have stated that my opinion is to drop completely.... But so this doesn't become a one-on-one, I'll wait for others to chip-in... But I will say this:

She has constantly jerked you around for the past year, and been fucking another guy in the meantime (I tell it like it is)... Has this lowered her value in YOUR eyes? NO.

Why should it be different the other way around? Humans always want what they can't have... As long as you maintain yourself available, she won't want you desperately enough. I wish I was in the States man... hot chicks all around, fuck they're everywhere go get some more.

I'm out, I think I've been pretty clear. Give your brain a rest from this one for a week or two at least man, you're waaay too invested. Peace.

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Fuck with her mind and her body will follow.

Thanks man, you are completely right I agree. I'm always on the lookout for more girls, but not giving up on this one yet when she spends so much time trying to get my validation.

League, a PM coming your way - if you were in this situation and you turned her into a GF, I defo want to hear about it.

Right guys, update. I went for a drink with a HB 8 (has a bf also which is crap). I seem to constantly have this problem where the girls I like are never single - they always jump from one guy to the next with never actually being single for any length of time!!!

Anyway, the other girl is back, sent me a quick "hey" on Facebook chat - which I ignored. That was a few days ago and she seems strangely quiet compared to her constant texting. I'll give it more time to see how she reacts or even she even texts me again after I ignored her text before the holiday.

Right guys news for you, I have managed to turn this situation around and she is desperate to meet up with me now! Incase anyone else is or might end up in this situation I'll say how I changed it. I think overall the best advice was what League PM'd me about increasing value. The ignoring DID NOT work at all, perhaps unlike your girl league - this girl had the bf to keep her busy. I'll write below what happened and you can decide for yourselves what you think worked.

So... I ignored her a couple of weeks longer after my last post (with nothing from her) and then I met one of her work colleagues in a bar (HB 9-10 also!). We got talking and it turned out she worked with my target girl - who then seemed pretty shocked (texting me of course) that I met up with her colleague and was really interested how I met her and what I thought of her blah blah. They obviously would be talking about me so I didn't want to come across as an asshole to her colleague by ignoring this girl. I think it made her realize that I actually do meet other girls and have a life outside of texting her, "insanely busy" as she called me. Also because of all the other things I was doing, she said that I must "lead a great life" and so on.

Then I went on a business trip to Texas, pretty much said to her "I'm meeting some great girls out here, having a lot of fun. How about you?" and so on. To which she responded "let's go out for a drink when you get back" - took me completely by surprise as she hadn't asked to meet me for about a year despite texting me all the time! BUT I think, crucially, I said I would be too busy and she has had plenty of time to meet up with me the past year and she shouldn't have picked such a busy time. Her response was just bullshit excuses why she didn't meet up before. I left it as "I'm too busy these days, I'm up early for a meeting so goodnight".

A few days later I texted her saying "I'm really gonna miss these girls out here, they are so much better than back home." She got pissed off at this and said she was a bit hurt and so on, to which I replied "Why are you talking about you? It is not like I'm interested as you are in a relationship". To which I also asked "Why are you even texting all the time these days? It's not like I even see you in person, it is kinda a waste of time time to be honest". Then again she was giving more bullshit why she never met up and kept asking me to go for a drink with her. I said "you had a chance to meet up with me before and you just fucked me about, I'm too busy for that bullshit now and I can't be bothered with that again." She "promises" she won't do that again, the funny thing is that in all her bullshit the boyfriend isn't mentioned once as an excuse - whereas he was the main excuse before.

It has been left as I might see her if I have time. Truthfully I'm not even that bothered anymore, I was honest that I did meet some great girls without boyfriends and it made her jealous. I'd rather not deal with her boyfriend drama, I know if we meet up - she will get flirty with me. Either way, I'm in total control of this now and I don't read into her bullshit anymore.

Thanks to all for the advice but to League especially, I think it really was about showing my value and that I'm not always at the ready to meet her. Now it is the other way around, I'll probably go for it sometime soon!