As I said in my introduction post, I am in the middle of my 40s and just leaving a 20 years relation with my wife.
I am starting my new life and I feel the first thing I should work is confidence.
I am reading two books from Mckenna, but I am not feeling they are working with me.
Maybe I'm not consistent enough.
What do you recommend to me?

I quote a guy that taught me so so much, confidence comes from compentence which comes from experience. Just get out there bro and experience the social life.

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Its a numbers game, but try to have the numbers in the quality section

I am trying, but it's worse each time.
I need to reinforce myself.
All my head are plenty of images as a looser.
I need to overcome this and forget my ex.
I don't know what to do.

You need to adopt the saying "who gives a fuck" or wgaf for short

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Its a numbers game, but try to have the numbers in the quality section

Please, be more explicit.
My English is not the best.

Who gives a fuck = who cares

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Its a numbers game, but try to have the numbers in the quality section

Thank you very much.
But, what's the starting point?
How to settle realistic goals?
Where to find girls matching me?

This the best way to increase confidence very-important-how-to-overcome-aa-fear- ... 37103.html

Could you recommend to me any books?
Do you think they are necessary?

I never had trouble with getting over ex-girlfriends but once. My oneitis was eating at me hard. Had sex with 8 women in the next 3 weeks. Still didn't help me since I was being a bitch and couldn't overcome my feeling of "wtf went wrong? I loved this girl and still do." Being with other females was the problem I had. Shit just reminded me of "the one."

From further analysis, I decided to occupy my mind with other things. Literelly write yourself a plan of how YOU can improve. This might seem silly but it worked well for me. I wrote out my fields as: intellectually, athletically/health, artistically, other. Then I wrote out activities that could interest ME in each of those fields.

For example:

Intellectually: reading, going and playing at a chess club, reading news, going to an interest club/gathering.

Athletically: gym, jogging, sport club, swimming, hiking, backpacking, yoga

Artistically: museums, art galleries, theater, painting, drawing, playing a musical instrument, going to concerts

Other: traveling, dance classes, cooking, going out to eat, going to a firing range, collecting something


Then I picked what I would like to do. Wrote out goals and a time frame by which I would like to accomplish something in each of those fields. I included career in my list since I'm a business owner and set my own hours. Another important field is Aesthetics which include you improving your wardrobe and keeping your hygiene at a top level. Always be neat. Also the way you present yourself (i.e. posture, voice projection)

Doing all of this helped me very much forgetting my ex. You are improving yourself and doing everything that YOU want to do. People will flock to you from each of these fields. I took 8 different varieties of dancing, and from each was constantly invited to social dancing parties. Met people when I went out to eat by myself (of course I had confidence so I was the one approaching), met people at art galleries and concerts, visited countries and met people there, met people at different clubs.

All of these things will make you feel better about YOURSELF as a person and will bring you confidence. Just pick things you like and remember that your life isn't over. You have to keep on becoming the better you.

Besides, being interested in yourself and your activities and wanting to succeed in them will make girls come to you.

The hardest thing is to organize yourself. Best of luck!

Good post. Really good.
Thank you very much.
I am eager to set my goals up.

The first thing you need to do is start doing things that you like. If you like dancing, go out more, if you like chess, start playing, if you like singing, join a choir. The important part is that it is your choice and you do it for you. You become the most important person in your life. When you start feeling good about something that is only for you, you will gain confidence too.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

I need to do this.
I need to enjoy my life.
Thanks.

I think that the best way to give confidance is to extravigant on yourself... go out get the spa SPAM. Get a tan. Go hang out with the boys and talk about pussy and football.. when your going through bad parts of life... the confidance you seek is made possible by others around you... calibrate your style to better suite those that you are around more. Run some game in some easy to to talk to girls. Get out... try nit to think about what you have going on. Rather focus on the task at hand. Which for you should be fun... fuck the girls... dint even think about it.

And dint read books. Take a mental break every now and then and just go to the bar to swash buckle. Just before ya go... get the haircut... dress to calibrate... and put on a charming face and smile... you my friend are a pua... and you are loaded with the information to make you a king... practice practice practice... and be cocky with yourself... even if you know your kidding... like me I tan... so I call myself the bronze statue of love secretly in the shower

Good luck my friend and happy hunting

I think this is nonsense... its not a numbers game. Because the goal for us all is to get the girl we want. How to succeed with women was weak work by good thinkers... they lacked the conviction to get every one of the girls they desired. I know that if I see a hot woman... I'll surely wanna boink that woman