What's up,

the following post has some FR-elements to it, but none of it is particularly good and you can't really learn from it, so I'll post it here. It's pretty long because I wanted to back the whole question up with some 'evidence' of my issues. Just to prove I'm out there and to make it easier for you to help me, if you want to. You can also scroll all the way down and read my questions. So bear with me!

I tried Pick Up for the first time two weeks ago. I just approached a blonde 8 I noticed at the airport, my opener was a basic "hey, where are you flying?". We had a nice conversation and she was very communicative (we happened to be from the same country and this was a US airport, so maybe that helped her open up). She actually started asking me questions within the first seconds. It was great, but I ejected too fast. Ever since I got back home and tried some Daygame, motivated by this success, it's been going south.

Let me give you some examples.
I walk around in the city. Mind you, I don't live in the USA, so malls aren't really an option. I see this girl waiting on a street corner (not a hooker lol) and decide to approach her.
Me: What are you waiting for?
Her: ...
Me: Uhm..hi?
Her: Hi. (nervous)
Me: So, you think of an answer yet?
Her: I'm waiting on my mum.
That settles it, turns out she's clearly too young (15). Nothing to do here, I actually get kind of scared because I approached a minor like that.

Next. A ridiculously fine blonde, plus I genuinely like her jeans. Perfect opener! I catch up to her, lean to the side a bit and say with the best PUA BL (smile, relax) I can muster:
Me: Hey, I like your jeans!
Her: Thank you (at least she removed her headphones for me!)
Me: Where'd you get 'em?
Her: This city
I wish there was anything else to write, but there's not. She just doesn't open up and I can't seem to break the ice plus no experience with negs/persistence (at that time!), therefore: eject. Too bad, she was hot.

I also approached my first 2set the same day. They took a picture of some shitty art and that was a dead giveaway they were tourists.
Me: You're not from around here, are you?
HB6: I am, but she's not
Me: Oh. Where are you from?
HB8: Spain. (confused me because she wasn't very Hispanic-looking)
After that I basically quit. I don't know what it was. I could've made this a nice conversation but I was just not that experienced with girls. It was enough of a challenge to go approach, so I figured to just stop at approaching. When they responded so positively, I just didn't know what to do. I mean, I read about attraction, small talk, later on moving comfort, instant date etc. But my head was just empty.

After that, I thought about what went wrong that day. The HBs weren't that talkative, so I figured going for a more indirect approach could help. To that, just add some small talk and see what happens. Plus, I didn't think a beginner like me could afford being too direct.

This has been pretty long, but I'm coming to an end. Yesterday we had some nice weather. I approached two girls (separately) with situative openers. Nice little jokes, one of them responded positively, but I just lost interest for her within seconds. The next one (my sixth overall, a cute redhead) was the first time I think I hooked.

Me: Hey, I gotta ask you something!
Her: Okay...(looks down and smiles. I don't know if that's an IOI)
Me: Do women prefer direct or indirect approaches (read this somewhere, and liked it!)
Her: Well, there's not really a difference, right?

That's when I lost my shit. I went for attraction way too early (I said "well there's average guys, and pros like me:) " and pointless, insecure shit like that). I'm just obsessed with attraction. I guess I should've just small talked for a while and let the C&F come naturally. But C&F, P&P is the biggest problem in my game and I hoped for a fix. I just got too worked up about it.

Okay, I hope you can give me some feedback.


How am I doing? None of my girls seem to be particularly interested, granted I only had 6 approaches since I started (friday) but still. I think they're a bit creeped out by my frame or BL.

But how can I work on that? I always think everything's fine while I'm in the set. I'm pretty relaxed, I smile and I try to tease. Reading from the reactions though, something's off. What do you suggest I do next? I just want to keep approaching and analyze the results. As of now, I just wanna go for full-on indirect with some small talk, maybe some teasing and a number close. Is that smart? Or should I - even as a beginner - stick with direct openers for my day game? I opened with a compliment once and I just gave away too much I think.

Just let me know what you think about the whole thing. Thank you very much for reading through all this, it means a lot! I know only I can make a difference, so if you answer, I commit to going out and trying your approach to tell you how it went!

Thanks!

I am also learning like you dude. i am watching 'simplepickup' videos a channel on youtube. It helps me alot. Watch this. rejection doesn't matter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=e ... ro7DHqzvUc

having fun during pick up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=e ... E4_Zn3bfIs

nerd picking up girls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=e ... vBXQsPbQ5w

_________________
AA whats that ?

Yeah, I'll look into that. Thanks!

Keep it up. You'll learn to last longer soon enough.

It's only humanly possible to learn a small piece of new material at a time. Right now, the first couple lines are new to you and they take up your mental queue. Later, the first couple lines will come without much thought and you'll be able to focus on the next steps.

Refrain from learning new material for now, as your knowledge is clearly beyond your skill. That's a common mistake and it's easy to get discouraged attempting to do too many new things at once. I'm willing to bet you already have a good idea of what to do. It's just not hardwired in your brain yet.

Just relax man. Take a deep breath and realize you are just starting out...it can be tough but its get easy I promise!

Stop thinking so much, when I talk to women I don't really think about anything, I don't even really think about picking them up, the second I catch my self getting anxious I take a deep breath, and just relax! You just need to find your style of game, what works for some does not for other and this is what most good pua's realize early on! don't try to be anyone but your self, don't try to force conversation, just let it happen, sometimes you will come across women who you have nothing in common with and you can eject your self, other times conversation is easy and those are typically the girls you want to get numbers from.

If you give off a nervous energy women will sens it and they will become nervous, remember you are the leader, you are alpha, you lead the conversation, and you have nothing to worry about! whats the worst that could happen?

p.s you need to assume that every women is interested in you, if you want a girl number tell her to enter her number in your phone, don't ask....you already know she will give it to you and if she doesn't you just laugh it off and say something like "Oh you dont like having fun? you should try it some time Im really good at it!" and then laugh, if she says "I have a bf" say "Ok....I didn't ask you if you had a bf, would he like to come hang out with us as well?"

If you give off an energy that you are not wanted then you wont be wanted, when an alpha guy walks into a room he gives off a positive vibe, everyone want to be around him or know him, that's were you need to get to in order to have success!

Relax, you're already well ahead of most guys here. See this as an xbox game, you're doing shot gun cold approaches. What separates the men from the boys is that the men don't get bogged down by rejection, instead they reload and move onto the next (much like it were a video game).

You can't expect a girl to immediately invest herself in you, pull your pants down and start slobbing on your knob in public. The thing is once she doesn't answer in a way that reveals explicit interest you are likely projecting a negative affect (subliminally). Instead keep things going, and if it seems as though its going absolutely nowhere simply break rapport immediately and move onto the next.

This is what a typical set would look like for me:

Me (sit on park bench next to girl): Hi

Her: hello?

Me: You look like an interesting person, I could be wrong? am I?

Her: No im very interesting!

Me: haha yes and modest!

Her: haha well you asked me the question

Me: You right lol I don't normally go on dates with women I don't know that well but now that you have told me you are so interesting you have got to prove it to me! When are you free this week?

Her: Ummmm....I we just met, i dont even know you.

me: Thanks captain obvious haha, lets meet for coffee on tuesday, my treat, but you better be interesting! I only hang with the most interesting of people haha

Her: Ok.....here's my number


Now this might not always work but I can often close a girl fast if I push the right buttons, you just have to have a style that works for you, and a confidence that is real! if not you will come off as creepy!

The whole point of being a bit delusional in assuming every woman you speak with is interest in you is that you wont interpret every nuance, or microbehavior as a lack of interest. Say you open a girl and things are going well for 10 minutes or so, and then you pull out your phone "We're going to tomorrow night, whats your number" and she replies "Um I don't think my boyfriend will like that"...at this point most guys will go cold and stutter, get all bent out of shape and call it quits walking off with their tail between their legs. Instead, I'd continue with the conversation as though she hadn't even said anything or something clever like "I don't do threesomes before getting to know the couple first, so I figured at a minimum a chat over coffee would be a good start..." with a dead pan face and half smile after (sexual frame, may be a bit bold for most of you). Think of a really confidant guy who approaches, he knows he's the shit, he isn't afraid of rejection because obviously there must be something wrong with the chick, not him if she doesn't seem interested, and he's far more likely to push the boundaries with her very early on. Problems for most guys occur when the girl reacts in a way that they feel demonstrates a lack of interest, at that point they feel shot down and the rest of the interaction goes south because now he's reacting to what he thinks he perceives (which may be completely false).

Remember also that its her job to put up a little resistance. Nobody, particularly women, wants to feel as though they were too easy - we all want to feel of some value and often times that comes from being a bit elusive and restraining ourselves from showing interest in the person (remember the body will often betray how she feels, but words can be controlled to portray one's self however he/she desires). Expect resistance, and seize it as an opportunity to demonstrate more attractive qualities (credit 60yoc). Do not see it as a shot-down, but rather that she quite possibly really likes you but is trying not to make it obvious, and that she doesn't really KNOW you and is just being a bit guarded (women have to be far more careful when interacting with males as not screening a guy properly can potentially have dire consequences).

haha wait... agent, you live in NY?

_________________
Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

Now You Can Read My Articles Here! ------------> http://wayoftheplayer.com/category/play ... fews-tips/

Hey man!

First of all, great post! I like people who put real life effort into this.

So, i read your convo's.

They are all good openers, but i think you just lack real interest, because you are nervous, because it didnt really went the way you wanted it to go, perhaps because you was too occupied with being C&F.

It is obvious that you lack sincere interest at conversation 2 and 3 (the hot blonde in the jeans and the hispanic lady). Hell, even the 15 yo was good for conversation. If it is learning conversation, a 15 yo is a nice surprise, kinda takes you off guard , aint it?

but convo 2 and 3 are the best examples.
So what is happening here at convo 2:
First, you put on a big smile even before she actually deserved a smile. What i mean is, she didnt make you smile because she was genuinely funny. So approach with just a friendly open face and give her a chance to make you smile.
secondly: she replied: this city... and you didnt hook up on that. Its not that you was satisfied with that answer, but you didnt push just a little further. you could have done worse by asking if she was from around, etc etc. shooting questions at her. Which would indicate her again that you arent really interested in her answers, which means you ask random questions just for the sake of asking questions.

When she replies: this city, look at her like you expect much more. Unless ofcourse you arent really interested in the jeans (be honest here), you could have said after a few seconds with a look on your face like you expect a good answer:
like... this city... someplace particular or did somebody hook you up? I mean, they are tight jeans, they must be black market stuff! How much did you pay for a kilo of that tight jeans?

The point is: when you ask a question, expect a real answer. not something like: 'this city' or 'Spain'. Expect more and tell them you expect more! Spain? wow, the thing i like about Spain is Picasso!
she: really? why? because of his art?
you: His art? hell no, he was a real womanizer! you didnt know? (look suspicious) are you really from Spain?

and there you go. From here on, you can start asking more personal questions, slowly during the convo, amp it up. Have an interest in what you are asking. Take their answers. If they are bullshit answers, tell them you need more to work with. What do you really want to know? take their answers and continue from there. If another topic jumps into your mind, FORGET ABOUT TRANSITIONS. You dont need transitions, just ask the question, or tell your story! Give your opinion. Be honest. If you are genuinely disagreeing, people will like you for it.

Example with the jeans:
you: hey nice jeans!
her: thanks!
you: where did you get them?
her: this city
you:like... you can get them at every corner or was it more something specific... ?
her: (smile) abercrombies.
you: holy shit, i dont like that store!
her: why not?
you: because its flooded with half naked men trying to sell you stuff i dont need! Its like a Twilight fanday!
her: haha, well i can imagine you dont like it... but i do!
you: omg, so you are a dirty little girl arent you!
etc etc etc...

You see? you dont have to agree with everything. To make a connection, you just need to be interested and congruent to your interest. Congruent means: dont ask about jeans if you truly dont give a shit. If you start acting like you suddenly do like it, not congruent either.

Give those girls a chance to be unique as well. Let them show you they are somebody, so you can compliment them on it if you really like it.

example, the two set with the spanish girl:
your: hey! you arent from around are you?
hb 6: i am, but she is not
you: oh really? where are you from?
hb 8: Spain
you: ... ok, but Spain is a big counry... could you be more specific?
hb8: well, Madrid, i live in Madrid, not far from the Prado museum.
You: oh, I know the Prado Museum. There is a Picasso hanging there!
hb8: yes i know. I like art and i like Picasso!
You: oh now that is cool! I like people who are culturally involved! But i dont like Picasso though...

I hope i am making sense here .

Also, take it easy on the attraction. Focus on the interaction instead. Make connection. When you had a fun conversation, made a connection, you can say something like:
hey, i had great fun actually. You are cool/interesting/nice. I want to see you again, lets go for a drink tonight, saturday, sunday, next week, whatever.

Also, one more thing that comes in my mind: just stopping people in the middle of the street is strange. Especially if you start talking about jeans or something. On the streets or in public, be a little more straightforward.

Example with jeansgirl:

you: hey, nice jeans!
her: thanks!
you: where did you get them?
her: this city.
you:.... ok... heheh not very specific, but that is ok. To be honest, i only asked to have an excuse to talk to you. I think you look nice and i want to get to know you more. Lets grab an icecream tomorrow?

Like that. I think i missed out on some more topics but i hope i gave you some ideas to work on.

To summerize: GENUINE INTEREST .

Cheers!

_________________
"Stop being a fucking vagina and escalate" - CaptainJackHarkness

Like the naked leads the blind.
I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
placebo - every me, every you

?

haha never mind dude

_________________
Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

Now You Can Read My Articles Here! ------------> http://wayoftheplayer.com/category/play ... fews-tips/

Hey, thank you for all the suggestions. It reinforced my belief that I should go out and focus on striking up a conversation, free of all the PU stuff. I'll try to tease if she shows engagement in small talk.

Thanks, and I'll be back with results soon!

Oh, by the way. Should I stick with indirect or direct openers for now?