Maybe she flirts with them maybe she doesn't, aslong as it doesn't turn sexual I have no problems with it, no girl will tell me I can't talk to someone so it has to work both ways

If she starts hiding it or lying about it that's when she gets her marching orders

What Chief is trying to say is that talking and acting on what you say are two very different things, and cheating cannot exist if no action is ever taken.

Do most women see it that way? Hell no. When the missus and I have a disagreement, nine times out of ten it can be traced back to some polite gesture or playful statement I made to another woman that was so inconsequential it didn't even register as an event to me, but somehow thoroughly offended her.

And if that statement or gesture can be classified as sexual using even the loosest possible parameters of the term? Hang it up, brother, cause we're gonna fight all day.

But once all the self-righteous indignation and anger dies down, even she can admit she is overreacting to the situation due to her own insecurities and past experiences with shitty partners for whom looking at another woman necessarily meant sleeping with her. She knows I'm hers, and there's no reason to doubt it.

All Chief is trying to do is get you all to admit that your knee-jerk, 'dump her' reactions are rooted in the same bullshit fears, and that you should be able to make the same rational assessment of the situation.

And, in the end, maybe you'll come to the same conclusion.

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

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When I started digging into this, it was when she told me, that they talked and she told him to have a threesome WHEN they were single, sadly he didn't forget about it. To be honest I did tought about dumping her, but then I thought, we could fix it. The reason why she didn't told me about it, was because she didn't wanted to cause any drama about "unnecesary things" .. why? Because she never planned on doing anything with him.. I know for a fact if she would've wanted, she would've done it in the blink of an eye. SOme girl friends I have, agreed with her, that they also do that kind of stuff, but never do anything, and don't tell their boyfriends about it to avoid a fight. She finally realized that what she was doing was wrong, after a long talk about how all her relationships failed, maybe she was the wrong one in every one of them, so she cut everything with him, facebook, msn, phone, hotmail, gmail, name it.
SHe never hid anythign on facebook, because she "knew she wasnt doing anything wrong" .. she could've deleted their messages, hell, she even asked me sometimes to log on her facebook to see a message from someone. So, if she would've doing anything, she would've erased them.
I dont know what caused me to be so jealous of that guy in particular, maybe because he was the only one not stopping his flirting, I see all sort of guys invite her everywhere, she says "Sure, one day" but never goes anywhere. Guys infatuated with her, that sooner or later stop insisting, I dont know what was driving this guy to insist so much, but I'm glad its finally over.
Thank you all for your replies, specially Chief, I was getting tired of reading the same stuff all over again, and reading your post made me feel good...
Now, its just a matter of time, until I forget this matter, or ast least let it go

Thanks, deep breathing should do the trick, hopefully.
I don't know why sometimes I remember, and then go all quiet, trying to discern every aspect in my head.
And I ask her "Do you feel better?" and she says "Bleh, I don't give a fuck about him, so its all the same to me" ..
Thanks guys, hopefully in time I will regain the trust I had in her, and stop being so paranoid, up to the point where I imagine, whenever she says she has to go do something, I imagine that she is with him, with that guy in particular, even after all that has happened, how he sent her an email telling her "Youre so full of shit blah blah" .. and even after all the insults, the blocking, the deleting of Facebook, I still dare to think, that she could go with him, whenever she says she has to go do some errands. I know she isn't, but man, thinking about it just cracks my head.

Thoughts and ideas manifest themselves into reality if you think about them enough. Even if you think, "I DON'T want her to sleep with him", you're still dwelling on the circumstances that could lead that happening. Think of how you can make yourself better, make you more desirable. Shift your focus a few degrees and you'll be set.

So often people say "I forgive you" before they've had a chance to digest what's happened. That's what you're supposed to do when someone says they're sorry, right? Well, if you can't shift your focus like I suggested, maybe you should let her go.

_________________
"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"