Hello guys, as most of you have probably read, I had a problem with my girlfriend the last month.
Long story short: She was talking with a guy over facebook about things I tought were disrespectful to me, something like arranging a threesome for when they were single. Thing is, the guy didn't let go, and actually insisted on it, my gf just kept telling him "Yeah, sure, yes, etc.. etc.. etc.." but she never actually met him, nor she had the intention of doing so, its the way she was, she expected the guy to forget about it.
We had trouble over this, which led to her erasing all contact with him: facebook, msn, hotmail, etc.. and blocking him.
Now its been almost a months since this happened, and sometimes at night, I remember that, and toughts start racing through my head. I know for a fact she never met with him, nothing. And when she erased him, he didn't noticed till about a week later and he was actually mad, because she told a friend of him (The supposed girl of the 3some) that all he wanted was sex, and she only wanted to be her friend. This gossip of course got to him, and he retreated because we had conversation history, and he has a girlfriend.
Anyways, its all over now, my girlfriend finally learned to say "No" instead of saying them yes, and hoping that they'd forget.
But sometimes I still remember, and get all paranoic, and go like "What if she found another way of contacting him?" Then I calm down and say, well, if she's gonna do it, there's nothing I can do to stop it, and if she would've wanted to cheat on me, she would've done it.
So, how to let go? How to let go this memories?

It's going to take time because she has essentially broke the trust you had with her.

On a positive note she is taking the actions to block (hopefully) all communication she has with this guy - which is a good step.

If I was in your shoes I'd definitely lower my trust levels with her for the time being and only start building the trust back up when she has EARNED it. Eventually you'll come to a point where you either feel that you can trust her again and these issues won't be popping up in your mind OR you simply can't forgive. When that point comes you're going to have to choose one or the other, it's a tough decision.

All I'm going to add to that is be sure as hell that if this sort of thing happens again...please have the respect for yourself to break things off - you deserve better. You wouldn't do that to her would you? Why should you take shit... don't lower your value man - keep your head up high.


-Flukez

This is another reason why you should of dumped her the second you read she'd agreed to a threesome, regardless of if it actually happened or not, if she cant say no to him she wont say no when some other smooth talking guy comes upto her in a club.

The fact you let her get away with it and got all jealous about this guy has lowered your value in her eyes, i was once in the same situation with a girl and did exactly what you did, guess who i got dumped for a few months later.

If i'd of just dumped her the second i had reason to i believe none of that would of happened, i'm not saying never get back with her after you dump her but you have to show her you're the boss and aren't gonna take this kind of shit

UMMMM....you believe her???? You believe that your gf didn't mean to talk to a guy about having a threesome? she clearly knew what she was doing and even if she didn't its still wrong, and would in my mind be considered cheating.

Let me ask you something? what would have happend if you had never found out? do you think she would have stopped? do you think she would regret it? I dout it!

Get out of this relationship before you get hurt man! shes lieing to you

p.s If there is one thing that I have learned it is that women never "learn there lesson" they just act according to how they feel emotionally at the time, The reason she talk to the guy about a threesome was that it aroused her, he connected emotionally with her and your value at the time was low, women don't cheat on high value men. When she found out she might loose you she felt a feeling of loss and it made you value go up, you made her feel emotional and so she wanted you more then the other guy....in her head she might think "il never do that again!" but women don't change, if your value goes down, and another guys value goes up, she will cheat on you take my word for it.

And it her whos done wrong, why should it be you thats laid in bed at night thinking about it, if you'd of dumped her when you first asked for advice and was told by many of us on here to do it, then it would be her laid in bed at night with you on her mind and you would probably have a much better woman in her place

Wow i remember this post as i advised strongly to dump her

but the fact that your still with her after the drama

damm i dunno whats wrong with you

you must be either desperate or deeply in love with her

Whatever it is good luck x

Sorry to say, but every single one of you are jealous, insecure AFCs.

please explain

So she was being a little flirty with some other guy that she had no intention of actually fucking - so what? That's not being disrespectful; that's just being playful.

If you have a girlfriend, you don't own her. She's not a piece of property or a dog that must be completely mentally loyal to you like some brainwashed George Orwell character. Even if she has some disloyal thoughts, does she not have the reasonable right to have such considerations? Maybe you're not good enough for her. And, if you're actually confident enough to know that you really are an awesome guy, you should realize that she will only want you in the end. Out of her own free will.

All this talk of "OMG she flirted with another guy DUMP HER" is sickeningly AFC. The girl's behavior described in the original post clearly indicates that she is loyal, but you're all saying that she betrayed his trust and shit. I am disappoint.

my girlfriend probably has more male friends then i do, nearly all of which i believe would bang her at the drop of a hat, she even texts some of these guys infront of me, all of which is absolutely fine, you are right i do not own her nor would i want to.

i couldn't care less who she texts or anything but when she's talking about fucking the guy thats when i draw the line, if any self respecting woman saw that on a mans phone she'd dump him in seconds so why should we treat women any different?

If my gf saying yes to a threesome with another guy isn't dumping material then i really dont know what is

Having a threesome with another guy

Hey chief saying "every single one of you are jealous, insecure AFCs" is damm right disrespectful

I dont mean to be rude but you need to think this again.

Whats there to be jealous about? I'm kinda lost here please tell me

And your right, you dont own a girl and that shes a piece of property.

But imagine this senario:

Your girlfriend was texting me and we were talking about real sexual stuff like having 3 some's

If you think thats okay and you can still be in a relationship with her,

then thats pretty AFC.

Vice versa, if im a relationship and my girlfriend saw me texting another girl about having a 3 some...

I wander what would happen between me and her. Its a tough one to see.

Soncheese x

Anyone reading this and disagrees with what me or Soncheese are saying try this, ask your gf or any female for that matter what they would do if they seen some messages their bf had written saying to another chick he was gonna bang her

I promise you nearly all would say 'I'd dump his ass'

So why should women be any different, if that makes me insecure then so be it, it also raises my value in my gfs eyes because she knows I'm no mug

When she is typing yes to having a threesome with another dude she KNOWS this will hurt her boyfriend.....if he reads this but at the time does not give a fuck about you. ( bad girl or low value men who she walks all over ) pretty sure shes a bad girl.

Now you also said she is texting guy friends right in front of you.. as long as conversations aren't sexually or disrespectful towards you this should be fine but i find it still pretty disrespectful. Plus i am willing to putt money on it she does indeed flirt with some of them.

For me personally i don't want a girlfriend who does this and i would dump her ass with the reason: "find yourself some other retard who is ok with you flirting with other guys over text".

There to many better girls out there. I was also strongly advising you to dump her in your other thread and it all seemed very sketchy if i remembered, something with an crazy ex boyfriend.

An AFC would putt up with this shit, not a high valued guy with options.

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