If anybody remembers this post I made last year about "Do you kiss on a first date?"

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This is what I written back in September 2011 when I first went out with her
After I failed to kiss her on the first date, I chased her for over 2 1/2 months with text and phone game before she gave another date.
When I finally saw her in December 2011, she came to see me fight at a martial arts tournament (which I lost), however I kissed her in the movie theater, but she didn't wanna come to my place upstairs afterwards when she dropped me off. Then date 3 in mid December we went out for lunch, I enjoyed her company as always, but as she was getting ready to drive me home she forgot where she parked, and we spend of 30min looking for her car which left her frustrated and angry, and in no way to seduce.
Then right after Christmas, she texts me and tells me "I had a good time with you but I've been getting more then a friends vibe from 1 of my friends, hope you understand"
I was sad but accepted it like a man and told her "No problem, good luck"

She then pages me a month ago in early May, and we start chatting via text again, she says it would be nice to see me. So we went out on a date 2 weeks ago to see "The dictator", when I first saw her I was nervous and had trouble looking into her eyes, I felt there was something in me stopping me from taking the "I'm the alpha male lead roll" and I felt more like a sensitive abandoned child. She paid for the drinks and popcorn and I felt her touch me slightly a few times with her leg in the movie theater. We then leave the movie theater and I recommend some chit-chat at a coffee place. We talk for a bit, and I really begin to feel a connection with this girl, while looking into her eyes, but at the same time I feel my archetype of the abandoned boy being reawakened with a slight fiery anger, at some point I think she noticed my emotional withdrawal and she kinda gave me a look as to say "What are you thinking about", I admit I didn't escalate at all, and she gave me a few IOI's like telling me "Do you really believe if I had a boyfriend I'd come and see you?"
I knew she had to wake up at 4am the next day, and it was 8:30pm already so I suggested we go our own way, we stood looking at each other not knowing weather to kiss or hug and then she says "This is awkward". So I went for the hug.

I text her a week after and she takes 24 hours to text me back.. so I reply with "You text me now? 24h later?" as a set up for her "I'm sorry.. bla bla bla" so I could've said "Just kidding"... but she never replied to me.
Then I text her 3 day later saying "I guess you figured out we weren't compatible last time you saw me" she didn't reply either..
So a week later which was yesterday I text her and saying "Holla, I know it was weird last time but I miss you a bit". No reply either..

She never did this before, she never ignored me like this, which kinda seems like an act of disrespect where a girl can't even answer you after you decide to give her another chance after she leaves you for another guy.

Right now I'm convinced that she wanted a one night stand with me, or something like that, my plan was just thought, start out as friends and make her chase me, don't show too much interest too soon, that was my game coming into the date.
Althought I see it didn't really work out as planned, but what did she expect? That I jump on her with affection and passion? I've been dumped by girls for other guys before that I feel somewhat justified in feeling this way.

Right now just craving for her, with a combination of anger, sadness and despair. I know as a PUA I should have more confidence then this as I'm not a bad looking guy in his 20's. But shes just on my mind all the time.

Any advice? Reflections? Options?

Unfortunately, you have killed any possible attraction she may have had for you! I suggest you do not contact/attempt to contact her again for atleast 3-6 months. When you do, try to game her again and see how it goes.

By having no contact with her, she "MAY" wonder what your up to. This will give you an opportunity to improve your inner self which will make you more attractive to "You"!

Peace...

_________________
Crypto...
______________________________________
All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

I figured texting her a calling her a bitch and telling her to go fuck herself won't win her over. But I just dont understand how she justifies this behavior

I don't think its about justifying the behaviour. From what you wrote she gave you plenty of chances to escalate and at least kiss close.

The repeated failures have now killed the attraction for her and she is moving on by just ignoring you. It happens, don't take it to heart, move on and next time you know you should be makeing a move, remember what happened here and make it.

I've had this kind of thing happen to me a few times before finding this site and about game etc, so I know what you are going through. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on.

Good luck.

I did escalate, back in December I kissed her.
The point is I couldnt escalate because she left me for another guy 6 months ago, I felt tentative building a connection with her. I think I was justified in feeling this way, I just thought she would want to see me again.

Yeah but one kiss isn't proper escalation. Don't get me wrong, I've been there before man quite a few times, and the same thing has happened. Over and over. And it was for the same reason.

In all that time, and all those dates, the only thing that happened between you and her was one kiss. And the last time, regardless of if you felt justified building a connection again, and were tentative, think of it from her point of view. She may have been on the fence before seeing you last time, and when there was no escalation or sexual tension created, it was going to reinforce her negative view. Hence the blow out.

Pick yourself up my man. Don't get bitter, view everything as a learning experience. Keep at it and you will have a much hotter chick pining for your attention.

Dude, you were a pussy. Stop beating around the bush and making excuses. Embrace that fact - you were a pussy - and CHANGE.

You had chances, you didn't take them.

"If I had a BF do you think I'd come see you?" YOU did nothing. To me - that's GOLDEN. That says "I'm into you, if you weren't a pussy, you have ashot at eating mine!"

A woman that SAYS "this is awkward" just shut her window.

I don't know what to tell you. You'll be viewed like her gay friends that are great to hang with when in town, go to movies, have lunch - but she'll never fuck. YOU put her in that frame.

Stop making excuses and simply work to move past feeling like that about yourself. It's a perception, it's not real, it's an intangible that YOU can change ... you just have to be very fucking honest with yourself up front.

Good luck.

RR

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

What do you mean a kiss isnt a proper escalation? I think I know how to escalate, please correct me if I'm wrong...
step 1) accidental kino
step 2) friendly kino
step 3) hand on the lowerback, hips area kino
step 4)kiss
step 5) her butt

I admit I didnt do any escalation, but she should understand why, the fact that she doesn't and doesn't want to return my texts just makes me MAD, its almost like she did it on purpose, got my hopes up just to crush them down again, A part of me knows that she's a better person then that and its just her female psychology reacting to my game.. but wtv

I disagree, he needs to beat around it more...

Just to be clear, I wasn't arguing that escalation was not needed. I was just stating that I went in to see her with this "Lets just be friends and then see where it goes" frame of mind. I made the decision not to escalate or kiss her even before I left the house to see her, I just didn't think it would play out like that..... I didn't know she would expect me to escalate like that considering we already dated a bit I thought she would understand why I didn't escalate.

Also I dumped girls before, and dated girls before... and whenever I would call months after the girls would always be like "I'm dating someone now .. BYE!"
A girl would almost never take a guy back she dated so sparingly whom it didn't work out with, who now calls her couple months later probably for sex.
So why should it be the same for guys?
I figured since women play the common "You now gotta make it up to me" card
and even the much more common "Go fuck yourself" card after I message them after months of no seeing, that I could play this on her.. Its called reverse frame isn't it? something like that I think

Yeah that is escalation, but from what I read in your post that didn't take place soon enough, or all on the same date at any rate. On the first ever date you failed to kiss her (and you said she seemed dissapointed in this) and had to wait 2 and a half months or so (of you chasing) to get another date, where you did kiss her.

That hardly sounds like she was attracted to you.

Then after the third date nothing seemed to happen and you let her being mad because she couldn't remember where she parked her car get in the way.

See what I'm driving at?

Then you say you you went to meet her again with the intention of not escalating or doing anything other than being friends. To be honest you have had, what, four dates with this girl (spread over a long time frame) and it doesn't sound like you managed to build much attraction.

It sounds like your head is a little all over with this chick, so it would be best to leave it, move on. Remember your mistakes and learn from them. And don't get bitter towards women - some are bitches but not all are. Try not to take stuff to heart.

And I'm not saying this as an expert, I'm not, just going off what I have learned from the short time I have been here.

Retired Rodeo give you some quality advice there - read it again and force yourself to improve.

Mistakes will be made. More women will be lost. But so what? You'll get there man. Chin up!

Thanks for understanding..

Except for 1 tiny mistake.. "I did kiss her multiple times on the 3rd date"
Thats exactly what I'm referring to. I'm referring to the fact that was feeling like I WAS BEING USED. Its like she left me for this guy, and now she wants me back... It softa felt like I was being USED and I guess I went in with a suspicion attitude.
I guess the mistake here was going on this date at all.. I should have never let her suggest movies in the first place.. probably should've suggested my place for dinner.
Now next time she pages me(if she pages me) I'll get sexual right away.. because I don't see any other way. This girl seems to respond to direct aggressive stuff.

excuse me, but why are you so concerned about a woman who left you for another man?

it is not the woman who is doing this to you. it is you doing this to yourself.

why are you doing this to yourself?

Thanks for understanding..

Except for 1 tiny mistake.. "I did kiss her multiple times on the 3rd date"
Thats exactly what I'm referring to. I'm referring to the fact that was feeling like I WAS BEING USED. Its like she left me for this guy, and now she wants me back... It softa felt like I was being USED and I guess I went in with a suspicion attitude.
I guess the mistake here was going on this date at all.. I should have never let her suggest movies in the first place.. probably should've suggested my place for dinner.
Now next time she pages me(if she pages me) I'll get sexual right away.. because I don't see any other way. This girl seems to respond to direct aggressive stuff.[/quote]


you are right you shouldn't of let her suggest movies in the first place, what you should of done is tell her you're busy and not meet her at all.

She blew you out for another man and you still pine for her, with all due respect grow a set of balls man, you meeting her after that just confirmed your pussiness to her, if you'd of blown her off when she asked you she'd of started to respect you more.

If she pages again i'd ignore it completly, if she likes you she'll page you again until you decide you feel like responding.

In the meantime go get another girl

More excuses? You kissed her more than once on the 3rd date? Cool story bro - did you fuck her? Nope.

You felt like you were being used because you allowed it.

Lastly, kudos on escalating it if she contacts you again. Caveman the fuck out of the gay-friend-zone and make your stand.

"When in doubt, whip it out... It'll either get sucked or slapped."

Seriously, good luck.

_________________
Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.