I headed to the beach today to do my normal swim, and it's a great day. Cross current provided great swimming conditions for me, and the western breeze offered what they call "Chest-high chunky" surf conditions.

I swim out a hundred yards or so past the rolling surf to where the surfers are to start my swim. I can pretty much swim in place for 20 minutes due to fighting the cross current, so I did that. About midway through this, a dad and 2 sons were surfing. The dad and I commented on the wave sets, just small talk and shit, and I started watching the kids catch waves (They were cool, caught every wave they could - no messing around, these kids were on a mission!). I pretty much started swimming on my side, kicking with the fins and staying in place just having a conversation with the dad.

Local guy, great family, around my age.... I wished them well, and swam in to relax for a while, and when I went back out, the kids took their boards and ran after me. Dad soon followed... He and I start talking again and encouraging the kids. I commented that they were doing great - that he must be a proud dad. He said only one was his, the other was his neighbor's kid - and that he and his wife were just talking about how she needed to meet a good guy... A little more conversation, light information-gathering on the neighbor - age looks, what's her deal, where's the dad, etc... and He and I decided to body surf. We put the board and fins up and caught waves and rode them in for a bit... After a while we found ourselves just in chest high water bobbing on the surf and his wife joined us. Now I'm in the inquisition (pre-selection by the wife). It's going very well... So I gamed the couple.

They mentioned that they were going back to the beach tomorrow, and trying to get the neighbor to go as well - that she'd had to work today. Then the wife asked for my number so she could either give it to that lady, or call me to confirm - which I declined. I told her I go to the beach all the time, I swim there often. The same spot, each time. I said I was going to the beach tomorrow as well, and if she wanted to meet me, she should join them. But passing numbers back and forth, truly wasn't the first impression I wanted to make. If she didn't show, no big deal - I'm swimming as it is and I'd chalk it up to "Opportunity missed" - and both of our lives would be fine - but it would suck for them.

her: How would it suck for us?
me: Now the pressure is on.
her: No pressure, she's a great lady.
me: Yeah, but this has to work - I mean there's no middle ground...
her: (confused) What do you mean?
me: You guys are cool. I get along with your husband - he's good people. So I can't go meeting random women for you to chill with on shore while he and I are riding the waves... She's your Louise and you're her Thelma, right? So you'll naturally want to hang with her while Brian and I are catching waves. I'd love to chill with ya'll.... but that can't happen if she and I don't get along. Can't you see? The planets would fall from alignment - and it'd all be your fault!
her: I didn't say you had to marry her
me: Great, there goes my plans for Vegas...
her: You guys are going to get along great!
me: She likes assholes?
her: She just divorced one earlier this year
me: Well played - high five!


She left to go lie down, and very shortly after came back out and said "I called my friend and told her I was dragging her out tomorrow to meet you". To which I responded with "Should I tell my wife to stay home? Yes? That's probably best huh?" and she hit me... All good things. I'll be at the beach by 11:00am.

You never know what a conversation will lead to... Just say hello, and see where it takes you people!

RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

While I'm a silent lurker in most Cowboy posts, this is one thing that I like best about RR threads. You can look at the scenario. The reader experiences being in the moment and in the place whether it's the hospital where his dad is confined and RR sarges the lady doctor, or at the beach approaching some random chick, or at the pool side sarging a mom with her kids.

Good for situational analysis. RR gives you the environment. RR describes the nonverbal component. RR highlights the conversation where the pick up is taking place. In short, it's real. It's easy to see made up shit. Made up shit lacks one or two components, usually the environment and nonverbal components. And even when such components are present in made up shit, these tend to be incongruent with first hand observation.

For the AFC lurkers, I'll summarize some of the points I've learned from this post.

• 1. Save Time, Multi-Task. If it takes you a mere 2 minutes to step into your sarging area from your home, doing something you like, getting exercise, relieving the stress of daily realities (look RR is in the HR business when the US unemployment rate is high and his dad has cancer), and sarging everyone left and right, then your pick up lifestyle enhances the quality of your life rather than subtracts from it.
  
  I tried to help this AFC here who does not want to look at the opportunities for sarging in a target rich environment right where he is (in the lecture hall) and insists on sarging instead in a mall 45 minutes to one hour away. Stupid? You bet. And some people make a lot of excuses about being too busy to sarge. I can even imagine that it takes some 30 minutes to one hour for the same AFC just to decide whether to approach one chick at the mall or not. What a waste of time.
  
  2. Massive Social Proof in Your Own Environment. If you're an expert swimmer, even the sea gives you massive social proof. Maximize your environment.

In summary:

• Theory + Situational Analysis + Infield Sarging = Pick Up Arts Learning

Miss one, miss all.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

I still recommend script lines just something to follow up with. Also if your new at gaming.

Interesting that someone feels he has to go out of his everyday way to sarge. Don´t get it at all... Maybe that Dude is worried being labeled a player where he lives, which would be a good thing in my experience...

I guess I do it pretty much like RR does. I don´t go sarging, I live my life and sarge if something interesting (someone I mean) comes along. Being in the places I´m used to gives me an extra level of comfort and confidence. I live in the heart of a 1 million inhabitant city and european cities are structured the way that they have a centre where all the life happens. It´s perfect.

Oh, and I really like the way you commented on this post Hellhound. Instead of of stating the obvious you really point out the implications and points of interest that are lying beneath the story told. A true interpreter!

So far a short, but very insight- and helpful thread!

Today, I'm there swimming and I see a group of people setting up their blankets, umbrellas, etc... and it's them - with the lady. Early 40's, great body, beaming smile - Easy 7 from where I can see (I'm in the water, but can make out the basics).

The boys paddle out to say Hi to me and they start catching waves as Brian wades out (no board), and waves me in... I swim in, stand on the bottom and just roll with the waves shooting the shit and out comes the two women... they're talking, she's giggling like a school girl, catching eye contact and then turning away, stopping mid-walk and pulling her friend back ... all the signs I want to see.

As they get up close the boys paddle by us...

Her son: Mom, this guy is cool. He swims out and talks with us and doesn't even have a surfboard.

me: Hi, I'm Michael Phelps... it's a pleasure to mee to you...
her: Olympic caliber? Hi, I'm Mary Lou Retton.
me: Nice name drop! I was expecting Keri Strug, but I'll go with some Mary Lou. (high five'd her)...

Keri Strug? I was thinking for a second - nice... what a random fucking name that was dude!

We talked for quite a while just the precursory stuff about swimming, what I do that affords me a flexible schedule, etc... Then the women leave to go stroll along the shore (the selection process at work - I love it). Brian's adding that she doesn't like too many guys, and they never get to meet her kid.

I took advantage of a moment where everyone left us alone (It felt awkward - like they tried to force it, so I wanted to break the tension) and I used that information.

me: Brian says you're a great mom, very protective of Robby - that not many men get to meet him... Why me? Why today?
Her: (after a good pause, where she smiled...) I've never heard Therese or Robby talk about a guy and figured why not?
me: You do realize I paid them - well.
her: Well, if you play your cards right, you can take me to dinner.
me: Let's not get ahead of ourselves, I haven't decided if I even like you yet
her: Asshole!

and a shove....

Fluff the rest of the time I was there, a hug goodbye - plans to meet back next Monday to swim.

So... I've now met this woman's kid; he likes me. I've met her friends; they like me. I've met her; she likes me.

Day 2 comes Thursday evening. Drinks at a bar near the beach, and a bottle of red wine I'll have in my car by a stroke of luck!! Heh heh heh...

The delimna is this: I don't like relationships.... and I feel like I'm setting up to be in one, yet I think this chick is cool. Also, I don't like to shit where I eat. This is MY beach, I don't want to fuck up my swimming dynamic...

BUT - fuck it, time to roll with the flow and go wherever the mood strikes me... I told her where I was at with that - I'm a commitment-phobic man, easy going, drama-free and damned comfortable with myself... She didn't flinch. The strange part is I was asked to go out to a bar with a friend later tonight (target-rich environment), and I declined. I'd rather stay in, enjoy an evening without working, and watch a little Netflix.

Yeah, I'm fucked. LOL

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Hahaha, fucked indeed!

But seriously...

They never flinch when they hear the "I´m a no-commitment man, that´s how I roll" speech. If they are interested. Because they don´t want to blow their chance with you. Like you RR, I´m in my 40s and self employed and I´m seriously thinking of not gaming any grown up (that´s 35+) women any more. They don´t flinch at first, but get clingy quickly with me. I guess it has to do with A) Being mature men that have their shit together we are predestined to be viewed as relationship material by them (and women always try to change "their" man anyway) B) at least in my case, being rather new to approaching pickup from the conscious PUAs perspective, I still tend to overdo the comfort-building part of the game, which leads them to think I might be the commiting type. Guess the AFC in me is still twitching in agony there
Does it happen lot to you that the mature ladies try to get "exclusive" with you? And do you feel sorry for them when you have to dump them? Both sure applies to me, so how do you deal with that on an emotional level (if there is one lol)?

I noticed that - to my surprise - I do very well with younger women and that they are usually cooler with having only an "affair". Simply because to them I´m more of an interesting experience rather then relationship-material...

What are you guys doing dating girls in training bras? I prefer D cups myself. Associate of Arts? Piece of cake. Alcoholics Anonymous? Shh... don't tell anybody.

Who the fuck still believes approach anxiety (AA) still exists... It's called fear of getting an erection. Be a boner donor. An orgasm donor so to speak. I'm sorry. What the fuck was this thread about?

If you have to ask... maybe you wouldn't understand as it is... and that's cool. Whatever works for you.

RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Fucked? Good fer ya RR.

I mean (as a fellow commitment-phobic), IF we're looking 5 steps ahead to see IF we're gonna get into that relationship breaking scenario, and that prevents you having a good time with a girl you dig.... Then sometimes we should drop the binoculars and navigate the waters as we get to them...

I am trying for that mindset... But then thinking about having to give up the game (momentarily at best) makes me sort of uneasy...

Keep us posted.

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Fuck with her mind and her body will follow.

It's gone well. Had a great date, no F-close, but made out on the beach. I went out fo town til yesterday to see the folks, and in that time she's blown my shit up.

I'm seeing her again tonight at her house. Her son's away for the evening...I'm bringing an overnight bag, I am 90% sure I'll need it.

She has the vibe of being awfully clingy-needy. I'll explore that tonight and ensure we're on the same program before I try and fuck her... But she's a cool chick. I've only had one date since meeting her, and haven't felt the need to sarge too much...yet.

RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

@RR...Bawhahahahahaha!
Ohoh!!!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Cool. Will wait for the update. Have to say the most fun is when I enjoy the date so much while not really trying, and all goes well.

Yeah check that out if you dig her and don't want to mess her up too much... Who says we're heartless?

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Fuck with her mind and her body will follow.

Well done and hope it goes well. All women want is a real man and to feel alive.

She could be a regular if she pleases you enough.

Fuck that...

She's a calendar-whore. Ever get one of those women that says "I don't sleep with a guy before 2 months" Or one month, or 3 dates, whatever...

She drops that shit on me. I told her it was a great plan, I don't sleep with guys as it is.

We cuddle on the couch, but can't escalate past her rubbing my cock through my shorts. Really? This chick is over 40!

I stopped after a 3rd hesitation and confronted her. She apologized, admitted she wanted it so badly - but has been hurt before... and promised herself she'd wait 2 months before sleeping with a man again. So I got up from the couch, went and got a glass of water and turned on the overhead light.

I told her I was going to call it a night. I reminded her that I'd discussed early on that I really didn't want to be blamed for what other men had done in her life - and this was an example. I explained that the 'time limit' wasn't real - that whatever did, or didn't happen was between she and I only. The preconceived notions she had were her own doing - not my own. She got up, looking me in the eyes almost as if she was panicking and asked me to stay, said she'd take care of me and that we could just cuddle all night.

I told her then "If I stay, I'm going to try to fuck you - all night long. You're too fucking hot for me to just lie beside and not get excited. I want you."

Then she kissed me.

I pushed her back gently, kissed her on the forehead and said "I had a great time. It was good to see you."

She stepped back in front of me, looked me in the eyes and said "It's OK, you can stay".

I kissed her on the mouth then, and said "I appreciate that. I'm going to head home. If this is real, it can wait. Tomorrow, I work til 3, call me later?"

She stood there dombfounded.

She called yesterday, I kept it brief and light, acting as if it was my greatest excitement for the day to hear her voice, but never made reference to the night before or another date.

Work today has kept me too busy to fuck with her. She's blown my shit up. 6 texts in a row. I finally responded that I was "Busy... Weather-permitting, I'll be at the beach tomorrow - 11AM. I hope to see you then."

She's in a holding pattern. I could have fucked her - but don't want her having any regrets later. Not my style.

So - I'm annoyed as fuck by her at the moment, to be honest... Not a good sign LOL

RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Fuck. Bad turn of events... I wish chicks of whatever age would screen correctly so as not to waste our time (plus leaving you blue-balled for a day or 2), especially when we all should be acting under an "adult frame of mind".

Yeah had you closed the deal, you'd have been in for some serious damage control, you've got different contracts on the table.

Unless she comes seriously around (hard thing @ that age), it's geronimoooo I guess.

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Fuck with her mind and her body will follow.