I was on a trip several months ago and saw these 3 nice girls on the takeaway shop. I started talking with them, made a really good impression on my confidence and humor. So good that one of them gave me the number. She's like HB8 for me but for some ppl might be less or more. I went overseas and left the "bridge" open. A few texts and later facebook, always playing a little bit of the game. But she went always like "come visit soon!!" very openly wanting to have a coffee or anything.

That kinda built up something on me that when I finally got to meet her in person again, months later, on a pub with many of her friends (so was not a date and a different social situation) and she was soo happy to see me that I got flustered. She came like screaming OMG OMG [embraces]... I reacted well at first because everyone cheered me up, but after that I completely lost myself. I coulnd't play my game and couldn't talk with her properly. She dropped me jokes that I didn't reply well through. I bounced a bit and managed to do something to keep things even, but at the end I went to another venue as she was talking with others and that's it. I couldn't stand and talk with her again and create some rapport. I supposed to talk a lot with her but did not. Just a few phrases... Next day I was just that AFC. Totally mad at myself for being such a .... don't wanna say.

I sent her a txt with a bit of a smart joke, and a "sorry for going out without notice because my friends hijacked me, and thanks for invite for the (b'day party) and we def. should catchup again". No reply in 3 days but I didn't leave a question to be answered anyway. She doesn't reply to messages quickly anyway (and me neither) so I assume I still have a chance or am I done here? I feel like I ruined my good first impression.

She told me something like "I'm here for 4 more weeks so we got plenty of time to hang out".

I think if I dind't loose it, at least I got friendzoned.

Do you guys think I can recover it and, most importantly, how can I overcome these situations? I tried so many things but still this shit comes up again and again.

yeah man unfortunately it doesnt sound to good to me, Time to give it one last ditch effort but be prepared to just move on as finding a new girl will prob be easier than fixing this situation

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Hi Saul, thanks for your input. I will definitely do it (move to new girl) if needed, but I'd like to know more about why you think it's doesn't sound good?
Thanks

that's just part of the game.

the goal is to not be scared to fuck it up, to not try to make a good impression. a trick you play on your own mind, that will hijack every effort you make if you are using an "AFC" mindset (trying to impress her). why would you impress her? who is she? do you even know her? do you know how many hotter hbs are dtf at this very moment, wet in the panties, waiting for the alpha male?

once we get over trying to impress them, trying to figure out some smart-ass shit to say. just be natural and sexual. that's when we start impressing them. why? too much pressure trying to make an impression. it is sure to backfire.

in this case, move on. BUT, not before you analyze the situation and figure out what you did wrong first. open a hotter hb today, NOW! GO!.

Hey Zepter! Thanks for that, what a great piece of advice.
You said everything, I put way lot of pressure before I went to meet her. That certainly messed things up. I need to find out some self-afirmation phrases to get over that pressure, maybe just those "whys" you mentioned will help. I still thinking right now about how I should have acted instead and I guess I should not be even thinking.

About moving on, I guess I should do it then. I have a good chance to meet her again even accidentally or not, if she comes to say hi, should I still try something else? I just want to understand why should I move on, not because I don't want to.. because I want to understand it better and of course I'd like to extend my experience with this HB.

And I like the way you said open a hotter HB now!! I need this way of thinking permanently!

pick up is about enjoyment. it's about YOU.

walk away. talk to another hb if she's not interesting. immediately.

we're taught "loyalty", "niceness", all this beta bullshit! bullshit! she sees you with another girl she goes, "wow! what? he's fast. he doesn't need me. kind of cute. ok, don't fuck this up (hbs name), show him who's alpha female!" (women are very competitive) she acts upset, pretends nothing is happening. her emotions are getting stirred. if not, she's not into you.

*of course, it's a balance. being a jerk can be too much, depending on your target*

when SHE'S trying, YOU become smoother (pressure off). guess what happens to your chances of getting laid at that point? all the social conditioning in the world cannot change instinct.

you don't need her. all in your head. if she manages to intrigue you by something she does for you, shows you that she cares, is worthy of your attention, but that does not seem to be the case.

if you feel attached to her before you even really got to know her - means you are not sarging enough.

your chances are permanently better there, where you did everything right from the start.

Hi Zepter,

Wow, all I can say is thank you man! I will read this thread everytime I go out!
I really should be enjoying my time.

About moving to another HB, you reminded me that I actually did at this same occasion. I was at least looking busy, talking with other girls, guys, and left the place with another HB. What I can say is that I looked like was having some fun but not with her because I wouldn't talk with her properly. But you're right, I need to have this mindset about not caring about a SINGLE ONE GIRL, while are so many others there! Unbeliaveble how some girls can stick into your brains!

See, I have a real problem, people tell me that I'm great with girls but they never guess that I have trouble on the mid-game and F-Close (or whatever is called but not opening and etc).

It's taking time for me to figure out what it is, if fear of success or what, I had F-Closes before and still don't learn.. I totally still AFC even people think I'm not!
But it looks like I can find lots of answers here. Can't wait to be all natural!

I liked this post here the-freedom-of-fearlessness-vt137298.html

great thread and very true. in those moments when you really don't give a shit, a desireable woman goes nuts and takes the decision to do anything you ask of her. the best part is in that very moment, you are being you.

lots of people get stuck during mid-game and closing. flip through the information and try a "search" for your sticking points. most of them were probably discussed already once, at least.

you will find OPs on here with a lot of experience, that have been doing this for years. they share their knowledge most everyday, and it's great to learn from them.

but mainly it's about practice. from personal experience and from the words of forum members more experienced than i, make sure your in-field time far outweighs your study time. this way the results will speak for themselves. you will notice that some things work better for you than others and develop your own style, which will take your game to your desired level.

I'm just posting about this again for the learning's sake, so opinions are welcome.

I moved on... but all by the sudden she invites for her farewell (she moved to another state)

So I thought " hmm nothing to lose".. So I showed up on my own.

Long story short I reacted much better, I managed to face my fears.. no AFC at all... but still couldn't get to engage on any kind of escalation, mostly because there was another guy which already F closed around and was into it. I didn't bother at all and had fun with other HB's, I had a good time. More teasing with her, like restoring a connection but not engaging in an interesting conversation. We tried, but I can't explain, it was a bit of a tension, but not a negative tension for me. It was like I'm trying to keep busy so she was. Still I was quite frustrated I couldn't get her attention.

We had to go without saying bye again. No biggie this time because of the situation, I sent another sms: since we didn't farewell-ed well, here is my digital farewell (drawing a hug) "

Week later she replied with a not-too-short message, saying sorry for not saying bye and we didn;t get to talk much, and sure see each other again... and left the end of txt with a question mark, (how was that boat thing bla bla bla?) which makes me think she wants to txt a bit more.

Question is, should I try to make some txt game? She's not the chatty txt girl, she will reply always with some mid-size message and also takes her time to reply.

She never seems to make jokes when txt, so I'm not sure about going much cocky.

What should be my next move, now considering txt/long distance?

I was thinking to throw something like "yeah quite a shame we didnt get to talk more, you looked like a fun person to talk. How are you doing there, having fun?"

and leave a question mark to see if she replies... I'm not sure... how could I get something out of txt so she keeps replying and escalating?



Thanks!

To put it simply: Call her.

That's it. That's all you need to do, and what you should have done in the first place.

I tried that, she doesn't answer and texts back.