Read this twice bro! Whenever you want to text her, text some other girl you like! There will always be times you feel on top of the world but there will be moments in your days that you wonder if you should text her, stay strong!

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

I just want to first thank everyone on this forum!!! You have helped me out dramatically and i have stayed strong!!!

So it is Thursday afternoon and she has still not texted me since Monday night after we got done arguing...I feel the need to text her really bad but i do not want to give in...

Do you think i should give her an ultimatum...or is that immature of me? I don't want to be angry but i want to say something along the lines of this:

"Well it still seems Sha** is a big part of your life and i respect that...i am not angry and you can do whatever you want to do. I was always there for you and treated you with the utmost respect and i hope you remember that of me. I wish you the best of luck with developing your friendship with him but i honestly do not want to be involved...I do not want to have to be around trying to cheer you up because Sha** feels depressed one day and he takes it out on you. I have gone through the suicidal girlfriend thing too and the easiest way to get out of it is to just cut off all communication so he can start heeling and move on. If you're that worried he'll do something to himself then call a hotline or talk to his parents...it's not your job to baby him. But you can make your own choices...good luck with whatever you decide..."


Does that sound to harsh? or should i not even text her at all still? Thanks again everyone for the input.

freeze out = freeze out
freeze out != texting ultimatums

get it?

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

Well...she finally texted me this morning since Monday night.... this is what she has to say...

"So... What's the point of us not talking again? I guess I dont understand and dont see any reasoning behind it. Whether we talk or not, nothing is changing as far as Sha** is concerned.
And just for the record, Sha** is not coming between US. Whether he's in the picture or not my feelings for you and us are still the exact same. Its not like I've ditched you or anything because of him. He's not interfering with us whatsoever. You're letting him get to YOU, which is whats causing us problems."


What are your guys thoughts on this? I really just want to have a story of its either just me or him kind of thing...

My honest opinion is that she wants to get back with you so as it's not her being dumped! Just a gut feeling but if you do get back I could see her ending it shortly after! It's easy for her because she has her fall back guy!

I'd meet her in person and say what you wrote in your previous post!

Fuck even quote me...I was in the EXACT situation as you and she got back with the guy as soon as I dumped her! He had all the depression issues and she was scared of him! He'd been abusive ect!

With all the stuff she's told you about him it sounds like he is baggage for your relationship...yes? Well if you have no ex drama baggage then why should she?

Ps don't paint him in a bad light...she will defend him over you!

Oh and ps

Because of what I went through one of my questions when I'm on a date is

"how long have you been single?"

"do you still talk to your exes?"

"any psycho ex bf issues"


If they tell me "oh yea I broke up with my ex two months ago but he is still my best friend", then I run for the hills!

Or even if she says her ex is a stalker and won't leave her alone I'll just say ohh I dont like ex drama at all...it makes me do a runner! That usually makes them cut them out if they are serious.

Snake is absolutely, 110% right on the money here in my opinion, and from my own personal experience.

I dated a girl who would still talk to her ex, same excuses "he was in my life for a long time" and "He would do something stupid without me there" and I bought it for a while. Then boom! One day I look out the window and see them walking through town holding hands. The bitch didn't even have the decency to let me know.

I don't have a problem with a girl occasionally talking to an ex, but there has to be a line.

well i need to vent....

We're done...after 2 days of fighting we finally called it quits...

She basically read the email i sent to her stating to either choose me or him and why he isn't that good of a friend...she said that it wasn't fair to give her such an extreme decision to make...

I asked and asked her why her ex still "deserved" to be her friend and she would dodge the question...I kept bringing up the past about all of the things he did to her and she basically came to the conclusion that they are capable of being friends when they aren't living together...and when they did live together it was hell for both of them...

So basically if they aren't living together then "he is a really great friend, and fun to hang out with" i called bullshit on this and retold her all of things he did to her once again...she said that yea he did some bad things when we were dating but i dont hold grudges...We would just go back and forth until she finally had enough, she said i had jealously issues and that i cant trust her not still having feelings for him....So once she finalized it, i tried to compensate and said i would try once again to make things work since i couldn't imagine losing her...but she said that if i have trust issues now with them being friends then i would have them again in a year..

After that she passed out and this morning i texted her this morning saying that i was jealous of him because i didn't want to lose her...that he was still part of her life and that we were playing tug of war with who gets her...we then got into another convo about how apparently i push sex too much on her...she said that shes self conscious about her body and hated being naked and that when ever we would make out, i apparently would just go to finger her...she said that she only is in the mood 10% of the time and just puts out because her ex cheated on her because she would never put out and she didn't want the same thing to happen with us...so basically every time we had sex was just because i wanted it....

So then i just said that i cant make her happy, that ive been trying to fix things and she is just bringing up new subjects to argue about...she didn't say one nice thing to me today and showed no interest on her fixing things...so i said its done then...

Well, time to go work out and brush up on my game....Thank you to all who helped me with this....i am pretty sure i made the right decision, but i still have 2 years of college left so i think ill be fine once summer is over....Thanks again everyone!

Bro I think you did the right thing! Girls like that are never good and I make sure to filter them out on the first date!

Re commence the freeze out and never look back! If she gets nasty then send her this link

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome

I swear some girls from abusive relationships have a form of this!

You shouldn't of said most of the things you said to her, like he makes you jealous etc because it makes him sound good and you sound weak.

But you have the sense to be done with her I hope, if I were you I'd literally cut her out of my life

There's no 'pretty sure' about it, you clearly made the right decision, if she wants to keep a guy who beat her in her life then she's not good enough anyway

This girl will come back to you down the line.

Women think when they call it quits with a man, he'll join the monastery and become a monk or something. When they see him with a new girl or even a potential girl, they get freaked out and second-guess everything. Hell, she doesn't even have to SEE you with other women for this to happen.

Her imagination will always fuck with her head. Just be ready for that "I miss you" call. If I was you, I wouldn't even pick up. Not after the way she defended that deadbeat.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

tell me about it....A guy that caused so much drama and pain for her is now her best friend....

I'm looking on the bright side now...yea i'll miss the memories we had, but she moved back home an hour away from me to start her career and i still have 2 years of college left...Plus knowing now that she doesn't want sex nearly as much makes it hard for me to ever go back with her...

We had some great memories but sometimes it's best to just move on...

Thanks again for all of your help guys