No No No. If you feel like you hate yourself. You show yourself who is boss and you tell yourself I love myself. You tell yourself Brad Pitt, Reggie Bush, Johnny Deep...can't no man get on my level. I am king. I am king and you beat them doubts down and do what you need to do.


Its all about feelings. You can use confidence, you can use anger, you can use pride. But what you do is you use a feeling to overcome your fears. And the more you use that feelings to overcome your fears you acquire the habit of behaving a certain way and you also develop mental consistentcy

Now what you just said here is the first reasonable piece of information other than a series of quotes and constant affirmation articles

Reasonable? Everything I say is true.

Reality with No Escapes

The problem with modern man is that he does not have to face things. He has ways to avoid reality. He can look at porn on the internet. He can watch TV. He can play video games. Food and comfort is readily apparent. Technology and modern advances are not used to make man stronger but it has actually made him weaker. Man is no longer reliant on himself but on things. He does not use technology to deal with reality but to escape reality.

However, I don't teach anger to get over fears because anger makes you act out of control and anger makes you hurt people and yourself. I dont use to much pride because pride makes you act ridiculous. I just teach confidence and desire to be controlled and calm. Calm and collected. Mental control.[/b]

"Great men have been perceivers of the terror of life, and have manned themselves to face it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

The thing is this though. With modern man nothing havin the pressure of hunger, survival, sex placed upon him, driving to face what he wants to face...modern man may not have the willpower to do what he wants to do. That is not an excuse that is just a reality. So when you look down on a guy for being too scared to talk to a girl he feels ashamed of himself, he feels unworthy and even more so he feels that he cannot do that which he wants to do. With that said, we say don't quit. Because if you tell yourself you can't then you don't do it you may have been able to do it...This is why you wan't to go until your fail (sometimes), because if you're not going until you fail you are not giving your all. However, this is not all the time the better method is to simply get out of your comfort zone and "build" yourself up to where you want to be. If you want to do 100 push ups a day...its not just physical, after you do 50 you might not be able to bring yourself to do anymore ismply because you hate it so much. So you know what you do. You do 35 everyday then you do 45 then you do 65 then you do 75 then you do 85 then you do 100. Impatience ruins progress

Use Your Imagination

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J48rfIEygU

Something I do when I go to the gym and workout is I use my imagination. When the lifting gets hard I think of every rep as the girl i have a crush on telling me "i love you"..." i want you so bad"..."Please fuck me." I see myself fucking her everytime I lift the weight and that gives me the mental energy to finish the drill.

Most men in prison are very muscular because it is a life or death situation. If you are not strong, the strong will prey on the weak. The other inmates may bully you, they might kill you....they might rape you. So with that in mind you workout and you work out hard.

When are a lot of cocky men confident because they have imagined themselves as this great object of desire. They think they are so great and they think they are so handsome...if you really believe that you are not going to be afraid of a girl.

So imagine hypotetical situations where you would actually do what must be done. Most men would find it hard to go to war and fight life or death with other men. However, if you knew that other guy would burn down your village, rape your family, and oppress your. You're going to hit him with a "you shall not pass." However, these are the realities that many men have faced throughout history. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP7X-YMS1b4

One of the most famous fights of all time is the Thrilla in Manila. Ali vs. Frazier. Ali had told himself he was the greatest that he had convinced himself to his bones and so he would not quit. Then Frazier had been ridiculed by Ali so much that he hated Ali to his bones. And after 14 rounds of brutal combat in 125 degree heat. Frazier's eyes were swollen shut. His trainer had to hold him back and throw in the towerl because he kept saying "i want him boss."

Affirmations (Yet again, because revision sharpens your words like steel. )



1.) Affect on Conscious mind- The affect affirmations have on the conscious mind are that they make you feel better about doing what you want to do and they allow you to remember what you want to do when you get nervous (ala by memorizing your opener well enough when you get nervous it can just come out automatically without thinking)


2.) Affect on subsconscious (this is really why affirmations should be though of drilling yourself)- I have already said you want to create mental and emotional habits, thats how you become secure (affirmations and postivie experience does that). However, you also want your beliefs to be so impressed, so deeply instilled in you that they are affecting you without you thinking about them (ex: this is why you probably listen to your parents without even thinking about it, this is why soldiers listen to officers without even thinkingabout it) (ex: if someone hurts you you may be slightly afraid of them, but if you forget what they did then you may no longer be afraid of them...thats what people mean by getting over something. However you can never truly get over something because once you have an experience its always there in your memory for you to remember and fall back).


Affirmations are just to help you do what you want to do. When you don't do what you want to do. Don't feel ashamed, don't feel embarassed, don't hate yourself.... just know something fucked up is going to happen because you did not do what needed to be done. That is all you need to know.

No you should not just dive into a shark tank because you are afraid too. You should not be fearless, you should be smart, lol. People have to consider the consequences of their actions, cause and effect. God gave you a brain and common sense for a reason.

Now if you a have a daughter and she falls into a shark tank then you should dive into the shark tank and save her. Matter fact if the shark bites you, bite it back.

One thing a lot people don't consider when they say cause and effect. They just think about actions. They don't think about their emotions. You don't want to put yourself in a situation that your emotional development is not prepared to cope with meaning. That is why you affirm yourself first. You dont want to get so afraid then try to do something then have a nervous breakdown trying to do it.


"The thing a kid in the street fears the most is to be called yellow or chicken, and sometimes a kid will do the most stupid, wild, crazy things just to hide how scared he is. I often tell them that while fear is such an obnoxious thing, an embarrassing thing…nevertheless it is your friend, because anytime anyone saves your life perhaps a dozen times a day, no matter what how obnoxious he is, you’ve got to look upon him as a friend, and this is what fear is…Since nature gave us fear in order to help us survive, we cannot look upon it as an enemy. Just think how many times a day a person would die if he had no fear. He’d walk in front of cars, he’d die a dozen times a day. Fear is a protective mechanism…"

However, you also want your beliefs to be so impressed, so deeply instilled in you that they are affecting you without you thinking about them.

I say think of affirmations as drilling yourself. Because when you are in the military and you come under fire you don't have time to think; you just react. You have these beliefs, these commands, these thoughts so deeply ingrained in you that you just can rely on them instantly. This is whyyou also want your affirmations as short in length as possible so there is not to much thought to put in them. Brevity is the soul of wit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUc62jD-G0o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5zZvl_UWQo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnWS9Jir ... re=related

I would not use these methods, but the purpose of these methods are to create certain habits and instincts and to instill certain beliefs within your subconscious. There are different ways to do this.

The difference between a hero and a coward is discipline. Discipline is a much of a choice as building your own house.

There could be a lot of good stuff in here, but is it not overcomplicating the issue? I mean I'm far from an expert, but if someone has AA then when it strikes they aren't really going to remember all of this. And if they can, they will spend too long mentally sifting through it and end up not approaching anyway.

Since finding the forums I have been approaching a lot more than I ever did before, having been sarging twice with some guys on here. What I have found works best for me is to simply get the first approach over straight away. Are you in a bar? Go order your drink and talk to whoever is next to you, that kind of thing. Then do another. After a few approaches the AA is pretty much gone.

First night sarging I was pushed in to a lot of approaches and crashed and burned a lot. A LOT. But what shocked me was how little I cared. So I kept going and ended the night with a kiss and number close. Second time I didn't really need pushing as I opened as soon as we hit the first bar (three girls who were getting served, I told them to point the barman over to me when they were done). The interactions on the second night went much better and again ended with a kiss and number close (much stronger one this time). Now I know these aren't exactly amazing results, but its a start and the first hurdle to progression is the approach. Don't think there is any fancy fix other than just doing it.

If it was easy as just do it then every body would do it, everybody would do it but they don't...

2.) you talk about going to the bar getting a drink and talking a little bit then approaching is easier...its easier for 2 reasons. One when you get alcohol in your system the buzz gives you liquid courage. Two, when you talk to people its like putting your foot in the pool, seeing that its okay then its not as scary to jump in. You're basically warming up and encouraging yourself.

3.) Affirmations encourage and instill. They encourage you in the moment to get over what you are scared of. They also instill beliefs and feelings within your subconscious so that when you approach a girl you are not afraid. It is better to have mentally prepared yourself for a job before you get on the job, but sometimes you will find your self intimidated and its important to know what to do.

4.) This is my method. Create confidence and desire with affirmations to get over your fears THEN do what you want to do THEN do it many times with the technique that you want to have THEN after you have done it enough times you will have a habit of being confident and of approaching women a certain way. You will have a mental/emotional habit and a behavioral habit. It is all very simple. Its all very simple.

Yet again how to overcome AA:

Confidence & desire ----> approach -------> habit of approaching ------> instinct to be confident and to approach

How to overcome rejection if by some random chance some crazy ass women doesn't like you:

affirmations. You tell yourselfsomethign to protect your self emotionally. Better yet you have your belief in yourself so deeply instilled in you that no woman can shake it.

The Importance of Honor (to Confidence)

"Value yourself. If you can get dressed up and clean your room up for a girl, but can’t do it for yourself? That says something about the value that you place on yourself..."

Honor is about how you see yourself, your self-image. When you have honor you see your self as good, as powerful and as valuable.

There are several things that you can do to honor yourself.

1.) See yourself and talk about yourself in a postive light. If people say your scrawny you say you are lean, you say you are healthy. Say i can't complain my metablism is good. If people say you are fat, you say you are husky or you are a heavyweight (in that tyson weight class). If people say you are short you say i feel tall. Its all about how you talk about yourself and think about yourself. You can tell a person with low self-esteem by how they have nothing but negative things to say about themselves.

2.) You do things that make you look good, such as grooming yourself. Shave, putting nice clothes, put on a some cologne, get a haircut. Dress yourself up. Clean up your car. Clean up your house. Look like you have value.

3.) Think of the things that you do as good. Never think of yourself as wrong or bad. Never. Whatever you want to do is good unless its like obviously evil. You wanna hook up with a girl and the girl says something about you should know the person, and you say this is fun, this is fun. You're late for work and your boss chews you out...you think its fine to be late every now and then. If you want to eat a candy bar for breakfast you say it makes me happy. You make your rules and your rules are good.

4.) Do things that you are good at the remind you that you are strong. If you are good at playing the tuba, play the tube. If you are a good singer sing. Go to the gym and lift weights, that makes you look power.

5.) Defending your honor, Hold people accountable for disrespecting you. If someone does something wrong to you, rebuke them. By holding them accoutable you restore your value and your image as a powerful person. A good person. In their eyes and your eyes.

Defending your honor is especially important because how people see you will affect how they FEEL about you and how they feel about you affects whether they want to associate with you. Just like your honor affects how you feel about yourself it also affects how other people feel about you.

The power of experience, experience has a very forceful affect on your subconscious mind because "seeing is believing." The force of experience is so power that it is important that you see yourself holding someone accountable. A lot of people say let it go, but your subconscious still sees you as a victim.

6.) Accomplish great things. to inspire yourself.

With regards the alcohol giving you a buzz then it all depends if you drink alcohol. But regardless, what I meant was that you should have made your first approach before any alcohol has passed your lips as you wont even have been served before you opened. Also, opening on route to bars, ask sme people if they can recommend a good place (I'm talking night game here obviously).

This bit: 'Two, when you talk to people its like putting your foot in the pool, seeing that its okay then its not as scary to jump in. You're basically warming up and encouraging yourself.'
Fully agree, thats why it worked for me. It gets you to the same confident state as all of these affirmations you can give yourself as its done quickly and you see the results there and then.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying what you are posting here is bad, far from it, I just think with so much information there is a lot to remember and if someone is too scared to approach, mentally sifting through info like this could have an adverse effect because, even though its meant to inspire, it will make the person that much more aware of what he is about to do and could elevate the anxiety.

Anyway, just giving what has worked for me so far, and I'm far from a PUA or anything like that, just getting started really.

Peace

1.) Warming yourself up by talking to people can work, but it has a serious FLAW. A FLAW that affirmations do not have. When you use affirmations you rely on yourself. When you warm up by talking to others you rely on others. What if the people you talk to are really negative? Your method will get you inconsistent results because by talking to different people you are going to be in inconsistent emotional states. You want to feel the same amount of confidence everytime so that you can rely on your self.

2.) This is not going to make anyone anxious, because you are supposed to read this and apply it to your life before you approach anyone. At your house, at your apartment every day you make yourself confident. Confidence is a lifestyle. That is what I am explaining to people....how to make confidence your lifestyle.