***Nosedive, Crash and Burn***
May 2012
Online. 36 year old 5'10" brunette. HB9. We knew each other twelve years ago, flirted, talked back then, were attracted to each other but we never hooked up.
The backstory. I got help from PUA's here:
-you-look-like-trouble--vt135969.html?highlight=
....and this is how the date went (copied from link):
Quote:
Date was tonight (Saturday), it went exceptionally well.
We knew each other 12 years ago. We worked in the same mall and flirted a bit then. Thought we each recognized each other online, but neither of us mentioned it. We were both very, very happy to see each other again. And eagerly awaiting our next meeting.
I kept the "Show no Fear; Lead" thing going Heywood...I decided our destinations downtown (the new casino, the restaurant after the wine bar, our appetizers, etc...even when the date would end!), I was teasing her, making her laugh, kino'ing, etc...I was glad I could say whatever felt right and just be myself, davidlov, just like you advised!
Kiss closed...
She sent me a text that night:
HB9: "I'm home now. Thank you for a great time tonight. I'm so glad it was you.

hope you made it home safetly, call or text me so we can make plans again soon."
I called her the next day (Sunday). No answer, left no message, no call back, no text back. I knew she was at a cookout. But who doesn't take their phone to a cookout? I know I do.
Monday she texts me:
HB9: "Hi _____, I saw I missed a call from you yesterday. I was at a cookout all afternoon. how was your day? Are you going for a ride today? I have to work....

"
Me: "Yep, hitting the road now. Sorry you have to work. I'll try calling later."
Later that evening I text her...
Me: "Hey, I'm out near you (city name), would you like to meet up for a drink?"
HB9: "I can't - I'm supposed to have a call any minute now with a co-worker about a presentation we're doing tomorrow. that's why I had to work earlier too. Maybe later this week?"
Me: "Can't get out for an hour after that?"
Me (10 minutes later): "Maybe later this week sounds good. Take care."
Me (10 minutes later): "Actually it doesn't sound good. Sorry all I heard was "I can't, maybe later *excuse*, nice catching up with you _____, good luck!"
HB9 (1 hour later): "Um, okay. Just got off the call and saw all 3 of your texts. I'm sorry but tomorrow is a big day for me. anyway, good luck to you too."
Me: "I don't do maybe laters. They are a clear indication of "not interested". I hate dating. Think I make a connection then it's flake city"
Me (10 minutes later): "_____, I'm sorry. It was not my intention to rush you. My problem is that when I feel a great connection (which is rare), I nosedive, every time. It threw me the way we met, and I would love to see you again sometime this week."
HB9: *No reply*
Now when she said she couldn't come out for a drink, ---> All I had to say was
"Ok have a good night"
or
"Meet me for a kiss after the call."
My desperation and neediness is ruining perfect opportunities for great things. Everything was perfect until yesterday. Everything from the way we met again after 12 years, to our chemistry, our attraction, her interest in me...all good. I was thrown. Then I nosedived. There goes another (perfect) one. Well, at least I didn't get emotionally attached and then dumped like with my last 2 girlfriends.
Lessons Learned:
-I am still a desperate, needy, clingy, AFC....but only when I am interested in being with someone. With women I only want for sex, I do not act that way.
-Less is more. Silence is golden.
-Wait a few days to call
-I need to study up PUA.
-Women have to adapt to MY life, MY time, not the other way around.
-I should give up the chase.
-I'm fed up with women, they make us play games all the time.