Hello all! A tricky question I have that never seems to be mirrored anywhere else:

A married woman is hopelessly in love with me, and her husband has
consented to our affair for the past eight months, letting me practically live with them. But I'm tired of sharing her, and she says she loves us equally and won't leave him, even though she complains about the way he handles "real life" (e.g. - the mortgage, the kids, missing bill payments, et cetera). She feels that after years I'd eventually manage things the same as him, and then she'd feel guilt for ever leaving him and "breaking up her family", though in the same breath she says she can tell I'm far different and more responsible than him. What she really worries over is that his ego would be hurt for life, because she does still love him on some level.

Is there a technique or advice any of you can point me to that will allow me to get her into a place where she'll make a definite comfortable decision to choose me over him? She tells me constantly that she can tell that I express far more love and connection to her than he does, and that she'd never felt love before I came into her life. I've read a portion of her personal journal where she states these things, and have heard her tell her best friends the same.

I'm most appreciative for any advice any of you may have! Thank you!!

What a fucked up world we are living in! I don't even know how you managed to live with them!

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what the fuck is this? lmao

reverse poligamy?

I read the first two sentences and couldnt even read any more...laughed a bit after reading the reply from the first guy lol.

Either you're involved in the most twisted relationship (love triangle) ever, or your game is at a totally different level (dont know if this is a good or bad thing actually).

I mean, living with a married couple, and fucking the woman while the man knows....uff...that's a bit too weird. Sorry.

(HE LIVES WITH THEM!!!)

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is this a joke?

To the last reply: Nope, this is no joke.

Okay dude, we'll help you but I believe I speak for most when I say you MUST tell us the backstory (we're all curious).

1. How did you end up in this situation? (Are they swingers? Or just fucked up?)
2. How many nights does she spend in your bed vs. the husband?
3. What annoys you about having to share?
4. Are you ready to take on her family?

Move on dude. The fact you live with them means you are no more responsible financially than the husband (or am I wrong?) What if she leaves her husband for you? Then what?

This is one fucked up situation and you need to just move on and find someone not married.

lol, sorry I'm being rude here but I feel like I'm on a Jerry swinger show LOL

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In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

Seems you made a Freudian slip.

Jerry Swinger? You mean Jerry SPRINGER .

well at the moment she doesnt need to choose you because she has the best of both worlds. she has the hubby to cater to the logistics and you for the fun...so she's the winner in this situation.

i guess if you want to find out where you really stand you're gonna have to call her bluff and leave her? And even then it will depend on what she values the most: her family or her own needs. You can do the math on that one.

Lol, I just realized I wrote swinger hahaha! Guess I'm a pervert subconsciously!

_________________
In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

Techgame:

Thanks! Here's an answer to your questions:

1. How did you end up in this situation? (Are they swingers? Or just fucked up?)

They're certainly not swingers. She knew me MANY years ago, and when we reconnected as friends, things just progressed very quickly due to how INCREDIBLY well we match each other in EVER way. One thing led to another, and because of her policy of 100% honesty to everyone, she of course told her husband. He realised how much we both love each other, and what a connection we share, so he said he was cool with us having that type of relationship so long as it didn't begin to muck things up in the home.

2. How many nights does she spend in your bed vs. the husband?

I currently spend about 5 out of every 7 nights in bed with her. At their home the husband works sometimes til 5 AM. And I still have an apartment we go to to "get-away" sometimes.

3. What annoys you about having to share?

What annoys me most about having to share is really the answer to your next question as well: I love her so very deeply and thoroughly I feel like I'm living a "fake life" until I can be the one being the sole provider and life-partner to her. I love everything about her, I love her kids; I can think of nothing better than having her ALL to myself, living the ups and downs (mostly ups with her) of life!

Bear in-mind I was a player when I reconnected with her - I had five women "on the side", none of whom knew about each other - a scheduling nightmare!

I was convinced I could never again settle down after my divorce, and had vowed to remain a player the rest of my days. Then she walked in and changed the game COMPLETELY!

4. Are you ready to take on her family? (answered above)

Thanks again!

Rufas: Thanks for your insight as well; I may indeed have to call her bluff and force her to choose, but seeing as how I've got the deepest connection with her than with anyone else in 35 yrs. of relationships, not to mention she's out-of-the-park in-bed, I believe I'd be the one more hurt in leaving.

it sounds like that will be inevitable no matter which direction you take. the question is which direction leads to lesser hurt.

lust or biological feelings for another in order to mate is one thing - it is selfish and has one goal and one goal only - to procreate.

love is a totally different thing altogether - it is selfless and puts the needs of others first.

the two are not mutually exclusive.

i wish you luck on this one.