Hey guys. just found this site and signed up. I know a decent amount about NLP and what this is all about but new to this forum. by no means an expert and still need lots of help...

any way, met an awesome chick, through a friend and we have been hanging out for about a month. no sex, just hanging out some touching kissing and watching movies together, stuff like that. I thought everything was going good but when I asked her what she thought she said she thought everything was great but there was no "spark". I haven't done much in the way of persuasion or nlp with this girl but I need to do something to help her get that feeling she's looking for.

normally I would just give up but I want to try! also she told me that she has had this happen before and ended up developing feelings for the guy and dating him in the end...

Please help if you can! we talk mostly by text, which I know is not the best for this type of thing but make any suggestions you can!

THANKS!

One of the myths about speedseduction (which is just using NLP to seduce) is that you can use it to generate desire. You can't. Not only would it be morally wrong to do so if you could, but you can't anyway.

This probably means that you are not escalating enough. If you've been hanging out for a month and have made out etc, sex is the natural progression from here. Especially after a month of hanging out.

inception!!

there my be no way to create desire but if I was able to get her more "interested" in me or even more interested in sex with me, maybe she would get that feeling she is looking for?

I don't know what else I could possibly be doing wrong. if I would ask her about it I'm sure what she would say is, "I don't know I just don't feel that spark"... which doesn't really mean anything. she's just not into it.
it never escalated to sex because although we hung out allot and got close she was still very standoffish about things. trying to make a sex move would have been a bad idea I'm pretty sure. we were kissing and stuff but not "making out". she's being reluctant to let it go any further because of this spark thing... or I would have had sex with her by now for sure.
I'm to the point of just asking her if its a sex thing but reluctant because I'm almost 100% sure she's going to say no, "I just don't feel right yet".
I guess the point is, if I try and use NLP to get her more interested in sex with me, is it going to help...

Dude, the reason you haven't had sex is because you weren't a man enough to go for it. You are afraid of escalating. She's standoffish because she probably senses you are afraid to make the move. If you had had a strong, unapologizing sexual frame from the beginning, then she would most likely feel comfortable sexually around you. She is comfortable enough kissing you, but that's just comfort. When you kissed her, did you begin to touch her in any other places? Her ass?

Fuck NLP and all that shit man, sure it can help somewhat, but your mindset is off here. You are thinking of asking...but you know the answer. You are making this a big deal, and so she will find it a big deal, too.

Remember, a true man goes for what he wants. If he gets rejected, he accepts the rejection, but he still went for what he wanted.

So what if she is a bit standoffish? Do you expect every girl to just throw her legs open and invite you dick in? Just make a move. If you get rejected it doesnt mean you can't try again. At least you can live with yourself knowing you went for it.

I think this is getting off the point a little bit. it may not have anything to do with the fact that we have not had sex yet at all. that was 1 of my thoughts but the way she has acted indicates that she was not wanting to have sex so I didn't push it much. she slept in my bed after we went out, in all her cloths and went straight to sleep when she hit the pillow. "wakin a bitch up cuz I wana fuck now..." is just not gona work, "being a man" about it or not...
she's not a super girly, emotional, all lovey type of chick so she would basically have told me to get the fuck off.
any way, the point is if I can't do something, sex if need be, to get her to have this "spark thing" then I'm gona loose this chick.

I think what I was looking for here was what to say, what to do and how to treat here to get some responses or to see if I can get her feeling more of a connection with me. text messages, somethin I should be doing in person, what ever!

No, we are not getting off point at all. We are telling you why she said what she said. You came to us for help and now you're going to say what we tell you to do is wrong? I am not trying to be a dick, but, don't you think if more than one person is telling you how it is that it might actually be like that? I mean, jesus, she was IN YOUR BED and you didn't try to go for it? Frankly, again I am only saying this because its the truth, but I don't blame her for saying there is no spark.

^^ That ^^

Regret is worse than rejection. If you try at least you know you went for it.

clearly this is not the kind of forum I thought it was.
that's for your opinions

This.

this

You're not carrying the sexual frame, this is why she doesn't feel any "spark".

I don't think I was able to explain this situation very well and I didn't actually explain in detail because I didn't think it was necessary. its hard to explain and hard to understand when your just not there and your not the one in the situation...
any way, thanks for the comments.