So there's this girl. She's as intelligent as me (rare) and i love intelligence, she had the same tragic childhood as me, she thinks like me, she has a great sense of humor, love the same music, she is a fucking TEN (atleast in my eyes), we have amazing chemistry, we have everything in common, she can be kinda bitchy sometimes but i can handle her, she get's very emotional sometimes too but again i know how to handle women, we argue but about intelligent shit (philosophy, spirituality, political issues, you name it) and i never really mind, i love arguing, she's very emotionally manipulative but so was my mom and i deal with it by out-psychoanalyzing her and arguing our way out of it. Anyways we've been friends for a while. I used to smoke alot of weed with her, we were always cool. I got past my attraction towards her early on and friend-zoned myself. We'd been hanging out, smoking weed at midnight for about a year when all of a sudden i think she told me she was in love with me(i was really fucked up, she either said that or said she wanted to have sex). I told her i'd have to pass it up because i had a gf. She stopped wanting to hang out with me after that.
We met up again recently and i got her number. I'm single again and i've been talking to her all night long and shit like that. We're friends right now. She expressed to me how it sucks how all her life she only had guy friends and now that she's a woman they all wanna get at her. She expressed to me that she's depressed because she lost her best friend and job 2 months ago - I figure i could be her bf and buy her shit and be her support. We were supposed to hang out with me yesterday but she was starting to flake on me so i instinctively found someone else to hang out with to display higher value. I told her that and she got upset and started crying because i already said i was coming or some shit. i told her i was already stoned and didnt wanna go. She wouldn't stop crying until i told her i'd come over. I was really stoned and im horrible with women when im stoned so i really regret going. We hung out, she was wearing something sexy(a short dress with plenty of cleavage) but said she hadn't showered, i told her she was beautiful as ever anyways. We hung out and shit was just awkward - im kinda falling for her/liking her alot, i was stoned, i had made her cry(it was probably just her playing victim until she got what she wanted which was me - ioi number 1), we watched tv, i told jokes, she did too. There was a time when she was washing her feet in the sink - - and asked me to go get her the nail clippers so she could cut off a blister or some shit, i walk in with the nail clippers and she's sitting on the sink with 1 knee pulled up to her chest and her legs are spread and i can see her red and black panties, pretty sure she was letting me see (ioi number 2). I called and ordered some weed, it was delivered and we got stoned as fuck, we went on her computer and smoked hella cigarettes, we laughed a shitload. I never got that ioi number 3. I had a handfull of moments where i could have kissed her but i didnt wanna do it just because she had made me feel bad and it just didnt seem like the right time. It was pretty awkward the whole night, she seemed kinda desperate(or maybe im just misreading her and she was still sad), i couldn't get the idea of kissing her or the image of her sexy underwear outa my head. I gave her a brief massage and i was always mantaining some physical contact but when im stoned its hard to say how i feel to a woman
She's either into me and trying to seduce me or she's just nervous about losing me as a friend caus she knows i like her(because she too analyzes well). If we date we might get into a fight and i'll never see her again. If we become friends with benefits there's always that risk of falling in love and end up dating and fighting and it being over. If we stay friends is there not that same risk of fighting and losing her?
U guys have any advice? I know i have to make the first move. I know that i have to be careful with this, if i just come out and kiss her and she rejects me, everything will be so wierd after that unless i can play my cards right. I'm thinking of all the best ways to go about this. I could just straight up say that "look [girl] i'm starting to fall for u and i have to see if there's any spark here, if not we can just go back to being friends" and then just kiss her. It probably wouldnt be as intimate if i told her beforehand but on the other hand if i just told her to close her eyes and kissed her without any warning and im completely wrong then she might never wanna see me again. I could also just not make any move and let the sexual tension keep rising and just wait for the perfect moment when she is more obviously into me.
CHAT