The alien one made me laugh out loud at work. THIS one made me fall out my chair.

I blasted the "knock knock..." part to a large chunk of my black book, now just sit back and see what comes of it LMFAO...

Open to close in 5 words
text-routine-of-the-day-vt134396.html?highlight=

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Alright, I field tested the "Blowing Michael Jackson's Wood" knock knock joke there and I am gonna take it OUT of my mix — at least until I know the girl has a filthy sense of humor.

I had a 50% success rate getting a favorable response. I sent this out to over 20 people and got about 6 or 7 EXTREMELY ANGRY AND PISSED OFF responses from it about how horrible I am to say such a thing...

Got about 5 or 6 LMFAO and mad LOLs...

The rest were split pretty evenly between being angry that I sent that to them and laughing about it.

It DOES make a good test to see if a girl is your type when it comes to being able to laugh together though. I could easily say that a girl who can't find that joke funny isn't going to get very far with keeping my interest.

I may have had better response sharing outright racist jokes because it seems that 50% of the ladies are very emotionally outraged about the whole Michael Jackson raping little boys thing.

The alien one got me nothing, had something going and then boom no response anymore. Steer clear from that one for a while. Afterwards I browsed this thread and saw that for half of the people that used it it totally bombed.

Do not use it! The risk is too high.

this is godly :O

Boy's been in time out for two days since he's been getting comfortable with bad, undesirable behavior. He sent me three texts today so I decided to throw him a bone.

Me: Oh shit, Aliens are coming to abduct all of the sexy people. You should be safe though, I'm just texting to say goodbye

Him: Smartass, you're still cute though

Me: *The recipient you are trying to reach has been abducted by aliens, please try your message again on an intergalactic line*

Him: So u dont want to get sushi with me today then?

---Bastard knows my Achilles heel .

I just caved in and let some girl take me out for sushi recently — and I LOVE IT!

I had to give her the "NEXT" because she was a boring, uptight, negative bitch — BUT, there is always SOMETHING positive I can take away from most situations.

Like great take home Sushi!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Eh... I don't know about all THAT. I like my sushi FRESH.

You know how the ole' saying goes...

You - We both Know..

HB - ?

You - We Both you know, that the second you saw my name on your tell, you was curious, Let's date!

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You only live once!

These are great, thank you

I like it

One of my favorite tried and true:
"What's your cute self up to ?

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"You learn the most while you are teaching others."
-Anonymous

Great post! I love the alien one!

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In this world, you don't get what you deserve but what you fight for!

I just pulled the Hug a retard day. (Remember guys tomorrow is "Hug a retard" day...So don't freak out like you did last year, NO ONE IS TRYING TO HURT YOU!)

She (HB9) goes: "What??"
I (PUA) go: "Yes, it's entirely true."
HB9: "Ok cool"
PUA: "Hehe ... ehm your replies kind a takes the edge of this politically incorrect joke. Wha'ts up?"

Nothing for an hour.

PUA: "I hope you didn't take it the wrong way, was a stupid thing I got from a friend. Gave me a laugh. Have a nice night."
HB9: "Hehe oh no it was quite funny "
PUA: "Perfect, then you know what to expect "
HB9: "Wonderful!"

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Sidney: "A man should never act desperate. It's impractical. And frankly, I find it rather ugly."
Billy: "I'd rather look ugly and win than ..."
Sidney: "Shut the fuck up."
(White Men Can't Jump)