Set up another activity and time to do something asap if she flakes, don't waste anymore time.

You never know she may end up texting you with something to do when she notices you have moved on.

I havent tried talking to her since the last text, but would it work in my favor to text her again, with some more playful questions.

Any ideas what turned her off? Did I just come off as too needy? I thought she was into me, and I approached her with a lot of confidence, so I don't really know what went wrong.

I still want to give this chick one more shot, so I am thinking of texting her tomorrow to see if she will join me for a run. Any opinions on going for a run for the first hang out and how should I word it?

We were joking around with stupid questions, so I am thinking of asking a few stupid ones then ending with, Join me on a run tonight @7?

Thoughts?

Tell her you want to see her this week at your place.

Like just a general hang out? Come over + watch a movie + make a move kinda situation?

I appreciate the advice but I would like a little more. How should I go about getting her over? Would this idea be too boring?

I thought I'd have more success going out with her and doing something fun, then pushing for going back to my place. The running idea seems to me to be a fun idea, but what are some other thoughts on this?

Going running, talk while running, have a fun vibe, then have her join you for a shower after a sweaty jog..just kidding, you can be like, go home, take a shower, and call me, let's watch a movie

ok first of all, lets consider a few things

you met a girl, got her number, she was obviously interested, you invited her out and she flaked, I know right?? wtf!!...

well here are some things to consider,

1) really beyond how she looks, what sort of panties she wears and how old she is, wtf do you know about this girl, how much do you think she knows about you? do you think she feels comfortable meeting up with some random guy alone (who is strong enough to rape her, and believe me girls consider this) who she cant even list off 5 things about with the same going for him (he can't list 5 things about her)

^ this is a good sign that you are over eager and dropping out invites with absolutely no connection to the person, sometimes you can get away with it if the girl is really attracted to you, or took the initiative herself (because she invested heavy into you emotionally just by taking the initiative), but for the most part, if you don't want flakes, build enough rapport and form a connection

2)you invited her out to go for a run, that's cool, running is awesome, but do you think she enjoys that as much as you?, do the benifits for her to go out running outweigh the negatives (in other words what do you think she would rather do, go outside and run, or stay inside and sit, it is not nessicarily the most appealing invite for someone not interested in fitness), I know you followed up with other options but the initial invite was fairly weak, you didn't even sell it to her, infact it most likely pushed her away from the sale, there was no appeal for her in running beyond asking you questions (she can do that from her phone), and yes you did throw out the save of a walk to a bar and a party, and yes that is more appealing, but at this point you already had an indication of her level of compliance (flake), so throwing another invite without the compliance is like repeating the same thing over and expecting a different result, unless you truly mis-understood her when she said ''Omg I lied'' and it wasn't just good frame control

basically if you get non compliance, back up, lower the compliance, and start making her comfortable with compliance, when you see good indicators that she is fully compliant at that level, bump it up and make it enticing for her

this isn't over, form that connection (actually figure out what she is like), build some compliance and try again, give her a good 3 shots before moving on, game on man

GOOD LUCK

Thanks for your advice , didnt start the thread but sure read usefull things!

One thing to ask you tho , building comfort over text .. isnt that contra to like " texting is only for meeting up" kinda thing i hear allot of people say?

pumpington, thanks for the advice, it is much appreciated.

So I texted her:

Me: You know what has been driving me crazy?
(10 Minutes)
Her: What?
(15 minutes)
Her: Huh Huh?

Me: You say you are on the track team, but don't run track. Isn't that like saying you go to school but don't take classes?

Her: There are other events besides running...lol


I definitely think I can spin this in my favor if I play my cards right. I'm trying to build that compliance by getting to know her a little more. Any more tips on this? I'm still a little confused like Gurren.

Thanks to everyone who has posted! I'm hoping for my first cold approach success!

Nice save.

the problem with building rapport over text is it sets a frame of text conversation, it puts a person under less tension to text, and since girls are passive, naturally they take the route of the least resistance, so the more you text and build rapport over the phone, the more it solidifies the frame of you and her being ''text buddies'', think of it like this, if a girl is really attracted to you, she will want to communicate with you because she misses you and the emotional stimulation she gets when you are around, if she finds it difficult and somewhat like a freeze out to text with you, but you answer your phone easy and will meet up at anytime, she will be more likely to meet up with you so she can get her fix of socializing with you, but if she can text you at any time, there is no reason for her to have to meet with you, she can just get her emotional stimulation and conversation via text, not only that but there is no way to read body language or judge a persons emotional state through verbal tonality over text, so it is hard to be on point and socially intelligent based on your own empathy, not only that but the same goes from the other end, it is really easy for a girl to misinterpret a text message in a wrong way, so things such as rapport breaks and humour can be taken the wrong way, alot of the time, attraction is actually killed over text, when a guy is trying to build it

it is always best to choose the interaction that requires the most investment, if you have the compliance, capitalize on it, how ever if you are walking around number closing several girls sarging every day, then you have to build rapport somehow, girls are way more likely to flake if they feel no connection (have that feeling of not knowing you well or having a relation to you), but really it wouldn't be wise to over do it, one or two days of building the rapport is enough to ease off the texting, mostly just use it to ping for interest to check for if you have to compliance for meetups, if you keep getting flakes and it turns into a pattern, then obviously the girl is a waste of time, and should be organized on your phone accordingly or deleted (this is also known as a form of screening)

Okay, i get it. Had numerous flakes now and i really didnt get why. They were intense attracted to me and some admitted it but somehow i just cant get the meetings. They all be like sure i want to meet you! and last moment they flake or dont react. Very mixed signals imo because when i met them they wer all over me and their first reaction when i ask them out is yes , but when the day comes i dont hear from them.

Next time ill build rapport for 2 days before asking out.

ROFL, tHIS IS GENIUS.

Pumpington, I mostly understand that about texting and how it is never the best way to build attraction. But when you say build compliance, I'm still a little confused on that.

I've been reading about compliance, and you can develop it when you ask the girl to do little things for you such as hold your drink, give you her number, give you a back massage, etc. Each time, you escalate and see what else she is willing to do for you, and each time it raises your value. This all makes sense, but how can I go about building compliance over the phone in order to get her to hang out with me? I feel like you need to hang out with her in order to build that compliance, and if I don't have that compliance, she won't hang out with me.

Should I just continue to ask her little questions, each time getting more personal, and learn more about her until I've established enough rapport? Then once I think she is interested or invested in me, try again for a hang out?

I feel like I'm so close!! I'm really enjoy this learning process as well. Thanks again!

compliance has nothing to do with raising your value, instead compliance testing is to test where your ''value'' is at currently, based on how attracted to you she is, what her buying temperature is, and how comfortable and invested in you she is, building compliance is simply making a person comfortable complying to what you want, consider this, you are winging your best friend, there are two average girls that are there, they are twins, you are on the fence about them, not really interested but if they make a decent effort you will have sex with one, why not, so you start talking with them, one of them sits accross the table from you and talks, the other one sits beside you, the one that sits besides you starts touching your hand as she talks when she speaks to stress points, eventually 5 minutes later, she is touching your back/shoulders to stress points and putting her arm around your shoulder saying things like BAWW THAT'S SO CUTE, next thing you know she gives you a kiss on the cheek, the other girl has not touched you yet, they are both equally as interesting to talk with but you can only take one home, what girl do you think you would feel more willing to comply with to have sex? it would be rare to choose the chick across the table who never touched you, it would just feel more comfortable to fuck someone who is closer to you, she just has more compliance from you (you are willing to do more for her/let her get away with more because she already has gotten away with more then the other girl)

now as for your question about building compliance over the phone, simple answer, you don't build compliance over the phone, you are right, you build it in person, you test compliance on the phone (not build), if she is non compliant she is a waste of time, a girl who is not interested is not interested, this is why compliance testing exists, because some girls will flirt when they are not interested, and some girls will be testy and difficult when they are interested, it is about what girls do instead of what they say, compliance helps you weed out the girls that are willing to have sex with you, from the girls that are not, basically your invite for them to come hang out is your compliance test, if they flake then they are non-compliant, but girls have lives, so if she flakes give her a good 3 trys before you throw her in the pile of numbers that don't matter to you, also if a girl is flaking it could very likely be an emotional connection that is missing that is causing this, if you want to test if that is the case start listing off all the cool things you know about this girl, what she is like, what her name is, what are her interests, what are her goals in life, if you cant list a good 5+ things about her of real substance then chances are you don't have a connection with this girl, no connection = doesn't feel comfortable meeting you, if you can list a good 5+ things about her and she has flaked a good 3x in a row, then she probably just doesn't find you attractive or currently has a boyfriend that she was too embarrassed to tell you about, or something else is going on in her life that prevents her from seeing you (it could be a million things), just don't sweat it, there are other girls to talk to

and out of those other girls to talk to,

there will be girls that are into you no matter what, you will be able to have sex with them just by building compliance (also known as escalating)

there will be girls that are on the fence, you can have sex with them by running a good game and escalating

there will be girls that are just not interested, you will not be able to have sex with them

however, with the girls that are not interested, you might be able to build compliance to a point where you think you have some interest (flirting, phone number, she might even let you kiss her), but then the girl will just flake, or try to soft reject you via LJBF, she gives compliance for the number because she is flattered that you came to hit on her, so she would rather give you the number and flake then outright reject you to your face, the longer you do this, the more you wish girls were more rude, but at the start alot of guys want to get every girls number, and close every set, until they realize what it is like to chase down girls that are not interested but too passive and wishy washy to make it even vaguely clear, you end up wasting alot of time (some afc's even get oneitis because they think something is there when there isn't), but really this is only a problem until you actually start building compliance with a clear intention setting a more sexual frame behind it, the more your intentions are clear, the more that girl has to either conform to the frame or reject you, it organizes and screens out these girls that will waste your time, and the more specific the intention, the more specific the girl it will screen for