Ok i was dum an posted this in the wrong forum but here it is now.

I am 22, in college at ASU and I am very AFC. I have decent social exposure being in college for awhile but my Approach Anxiety is probably as worse as any newbies. I have very little success with women my whole life and I finally know what I have to do.

DAY 1: Mall

I'm trying to systematically desensitize myself. thankfully I have a buddy that studies pickup as well.

We start off saying hello to random people that walk buy to kill some of the AA.

Being my first cold approaches ever this is not going to impress many of the puas out there but I opened 3 sets with the same opener.

HB #1 clothing store (women's section)

me: hey can you help me with something for just one second? I'm looking for a gift to get my friend it's her birthday.
her: sure what were you thinking?
me: oh I don't know really where to a start, I mean I'm a guy in the women's section so any advice would be helpful. something in the 10-20 range.
her: ok well what style is she into
me: shes from cali, I don't know if thats really a style but it might give an idea.

I can't really remember what happened word for word after but she helped me out. I failed to transition so I just said thank you and ejected. Atleast I killed my fear of approaching at that very moment and I was satisfied with myself

HB #2 different clothing store

I don't know if it counts but i open a girl that was an employee asked where a certain brand of tshirt was and discussed how I liked similar stores at a different mall. She was really hot however I'd give her a 9 so it was still progression

HB #3

Probably the best one of the day, I'm in the same store as hb #1 and i use the same opener.

me: hey can you excuse me for a quick moment, i'm looking for a gift for a friend she just graduated and her birthday is coming up?
her: oh sure what does she like.
me: I have no idea i'm just freestyling at this point, are you an employee?
her: no (laughs)
me: oh shit I thought you were haha well you don't have to help me you're not getting paid to do this
me: oh no its no problem

she like walks around the store literally to the other side trying to find stuff for me. she twirls her hair. scratches the back of her neck. and keeps feeding and feeding the conversation but not changing topics. I would assume all the above being iois.

again i feel slow headed and fail to make the transition. I smile say thank you and eject. possibly could have n closed.

DAY 1 ACCOMPLISHED: opening girls, realizing that its not commiting a crime and some can be very receptive even to very bland openers.

DAY 1 SELF CRITIQUE: I failed to transition when interactions went well I need to preplan that better, less hesitation, very safe openers even though i tested my very own reality and shattered a lot of it today; i am far from being a master.

Hey, good work on starting a journal, I've just done the same. Yours is already inspiring to me. I've just posted a primer, what I want to do. Tomorrow I am going to go out and start meeting people, like you I am going to the mall. I was thinking more about the food court than in actual shops like you've done. Like going in and sitting down next to a group and trying to join in. I don't know if I do have the confidence to do that, but maybe I'll be able to.

I'll defiantly go into some shops though and ask for help "I'm looking for a gift for my sister, can you help me out?" or something along those lines.

Keep it up mate!

Smile

- CrazyFarmer

"how old are you" was a nice transition

instead of saying "your in the same range as her"

i would of said "really wow you dont look 19?"

which opens her up and you could of easily carried on the conversation

Soncheese x

thank you for the feedback. im considering going out again to the same mall tommorow or the next day solo.

my goals will be

try 1 different opener
always try atleast 1 transition to an off topic no matter how random it is
find out 2-3 things about her then go for an n close if i get the correct iois

crazyfarmer i think that can be done. At my skill level though im mainly comfortable just strolling through clothing shops, very low key and an easy way to start.

Provided i stay motivated i want to work up to doing direct; however the prospect of doing that is really intimidating to me now.

the mall ive been going to is a good practice spot lots of hbs that are around my age, but from the rich snobby part of town so some of those girls probably have huge bitch shields.

Day 3

ok well today, i rather dissapointed myself and apologize to those that may be following my journal. I did open 2 sets but they were meh.

HB # 1

i try to use the same opener but I didn't even get past the first few words. This girl was looking through clothes.

I opened with hey could you help me with something really fast?

i guess she didn't hear me, she kept looking through clothes. i even tried again and nothing. I couldn't tell if she was deaf, ignoring me, or the biggest case of ADD in the world but i just walked off.

to myself i sounded like i was speaking at a decent volume but maybe my perception of my voice is flawed?

HB #2

I'm looking through acessories (in the women's department). This girl walks in front of me then notices me and says oops sorry.

Me: no problem.

we are in the same section looking through acessories

me: you know i feel a little out of place here but i'm looking for a gift for a friend

her: laughs (says something but I don't remember)

me: i just figured it would be a good shot because this store has pretty good deals

her: ya its a pretty good store (sorry i'm having a really hard time remembering what she said)

me: you think these sunglasses would be good?

her: ya but i think sunglasses can be difficult

me: ya it woul be hard to determine without having the person actually being here.

set over.

wasn't really a full on conversation it was just a few comments back in forth over the shoulders at different time intervals. she was nice atleast.

for the rest of time i kind of get distracted and shop clothes for myself. in the course of that time while i don't open hb sets i engage in I would say 3-4 conversations with employees and other dude shoppers to try and atleast get some social exposure.

but ya i have to step up my game.

SELF CRITIQUE:

Pros: atleast i went out, i familiarized myself with the environment, I went without my wing, i started conversations with people still, i tried to stay as long as possible in the women's sections of departments stores as i possibly could so i could get used to the feeling and not feel akward.

Cons: I need to project myself better with the opener so the HB actually knows I'm talking to her and confident, Still need to use different openers, need to up my number of sets. Less hesitation[/b]

_________________
there is no turning back. there is only winning

I feel like I am at the tip of the iceberg. I see the girls. I've already experienced moderate success. But the limiting beliefs are still tormenting me. This very small exposure I've experienced of sarging now has given me a hunger for more but my hunger and limiting beleifs are now fighting each other.

This is probably the most important phase where most guys quit or become one of the few that actually do this shit.

PLEASE, if anyone with good day sarging skills can inspire me right now or talk to me over chat, pm , whatever. It could really help me out right now. Even better if you are around my age range and of the college demographic so we come from similar settings.

I respect everyone who actually sarges on this forum but part of my limiting belief is even my location. I go to a very highly populated college with hot girls and alpha guys and i'm going to a mall with even more hot high strung girls even amongst the college. Literally if I can master the sets at this mall I feel like I could sarge almost anywhere but at this moment I really could use some inspiration.

_________________
there is no turning back. there is only winning

dont quit just keep practicing i know its hard,but its not impossible

_________________
if you dont believe in yourself ,then who will?

Here's some inspiration;

You've actually begun acting. I have immense approach fear. You need to remember, as for me as well, no-one's going to come and save us from the life we have. We need to improve on our own. Sure, there are great people here who will offer advice, but In my belief, the learning only occurs when you are on the field, experiencing the trials.

So, be inspired that yours is a journey some of us are making right now, know that there are those, like me who have yet to even reach your stage and then take consolation that many accomplished PUA's were like you once.

Your decision to sort this area of your life is a great one, many others simply watch as life passes by, you have taken a huge step towards sculpting great future for yourself. Don't loose hope, remember we're following your progress and hoping to get inspiration from you as well.

For me, it's my first open. I've opened before. but never approached and opened, it was always a situation where the girl came close to me or in a line or taxi.

Take care man.

Day 4

Failure

and when i mean failure i mean i didn't approach any cold sets

I spent 2 HOURS just hovering around. I would say the only benefit of going out today was understanding the logistics of the mall better.

The battle against my brain

walk by food court spot hb8 blonde sitting at a table. she eyeballs me for a couple seconds and we match eyes. i had an opener ready to go to.

opener: hey can you help me with something, i read on the directory the starbucks is around here but i don't see it can you help me out? (i was legitmatley having this problem at the time and ended up asking a male employee)

but i bitched out.
I get off an escalator and see an hb 7.5. she glances at me while i look at her. she hair flips. again i bitch out. something about locking eyes with a girl does something to me that is unexplainable. its like an invisible force magically tilts my head down or away, forces my face muscles to make a serious face, and gives my eyes a glare like im in a wild jungle about to fight off a predator.

perhaps it has something to do with my eyesight because its rather poor so i have to squint but when i squint i feel like im being creepy and when im being creepy i even act more afc. but my logical side tells me it is my aa. perhaps i should accept that im going to squint.
i walk my the h&m clothing store go through briefly but then go down to the mens section then exit. There were not really a lot of sets but to say there were no sets was untrue. i started being more conscious of all the people that might see me trying to approach girls which gave me more aa.
walk by another women's store. ugg all the hot sets are in women's section stores.
Sarge logistics

so i walk out rather ashamed of myself. my self limiting brain won and my desires lost.
at my time in the mall, like i said i atleast studied the layout.

H&M
Forever 21
Wet Seal
charlotte run
charming charlie
Macys
Nordstroms

All these stores are a good size so im not trying to game a single girl in the middle of a small store crammed with potential observers. so there is no excuse why i shouldn't be able to open 7 sets each time if i open one at each store.

Food court there is always a few sets in the food lines or at the tables.

However most of the really hot sets are just walking by not in the stores. however moving targets are the most intimidating to me.

the starbucks there has a few sets go in and out so that would be a good place to start or move a set to if i somehow manage to insta date one.

3-5pm is the best time to show up Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday are the best days to go for amounts of sets

goals
next time go in. start at starbucks

open with what i should get? to a set.

go into each of the department stores i mention and absolutley open with one of these to a set and not leave till i do it. which would total 7 sets

gift friend opener
ask hb employee for directions
or for applying to a job
or for the restroom location
or for the opinion on clothes

when i walk by hbs i look at them with my natural squint instead of trying to hide it

food court i open an hb at a table,walking by, or in a food line to ask where the starbucks is because i can't see it in the food court.

non pua goals

I need to start working on my online accounting class.

I also want to earn my personal training certificate and get a job as a personal trainer sometime this summer.

Also i picked up the whole adobe creative set. I'm going to be desinging websites, creating images, and creating videos for my fraternity.

and most importantly going to hit the gym. lost a couple bf% points of fat and a couple pound of muscle. I'm already in pretty good shape but theres still room for improvement.
I gained some weight from drinking last semester. I want to move more of my gaming from night party gaming to day sarging so i can actually make more connections instead of drunk fakeness interactions that i deal with at asu.

[/b]for those reading thank you for the support so far. I'm not going to bitch out and be strong for you guys as well as myself. it just might take sometime.

if anyone that considers themself a pua has success I would say a talk over chat or a link to success stories would be very inspiring for me at this time.

_________________
there is no turning back. there is only winning

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_________________
there is no turning back. there is only winning

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_________________
there is no turning back. there is only winning

^ i apologize for the triple post it was loading very slow... and i don't know how to delete.

anyway going to the gym

_________________
there is no turning back. there is only winning

DAY 5

Went to a different mall. still AA haunted to me to where i couldnt make a move but just scope out the area and understand the lay of the land there.

DAY 6

I went out to another different mall even though i only had 2 hours of sleep because of a morning doctor's appointment.

THINGS I DID DIFFERENTLY TO PREPARE:

this time i made sure i felt 100% good about my appearance. showered. deodrant. everything

I went to a mall where there wasn't going to be anyone i knew, where it wasn't overwhelming, and where there wasn't hbs at every single corner so I wouldn't get attached to the environment thus increasing my aa.

Today went considerably better compared to the last 3 days but still did not top the first 2 when i was out with my wing.

Summary:

4 sets: 1 non hired gun which bounced to a hired gun, and 3 hired guns.

greeted 5 non hbs with good afternoon

asked directions to the bathroom 5 times from non hbs


Ok here we go

I get out of my car walk into the entrance. before i get in hb 8 smoking blonde is walking toward the entrance. she eyes me when i eye her. I don't really look away because we are at a good distance anyway. she kind of stalls for a bit but ends up walking. (shes still too far ahead of me for me to catch up unless i literally run up to her) so i bitch out

SET # 1

I walk into a hollister store. hired gun blonde HB 7 greets me with a smile and a hello can I help you with anything today?

Me: ya you actually can. I'm looking for gift for a friend. a girl. something in the 10-20 range.
Her:ok well what is she like or what does she want you think?
Me: I don't know something like that (i point to a container of some kind of cologne)
Me: I wouldn't know what to get her if i was going through like dresses and shirts
Her: ya you might get the size wrong
Me: Well it would definantly be in the small-medium range.
Her: we have different kinds of lotions down there.
Me: ya that might work
Her: I don't know but i tried this one I like the smell of it. I got to smell it in the back of the shop one time and liked it.
Me: haha do you get free stuff or is the employee discount here sick?
her: oh that discount is like x% I like it.

forget what else is said. but in my view shes showing interest, shes not the very flirty sexual kind of girl, but she goes out of her way and gives a good effort and trying to help me. (Then again shes obligated to)

eventually she jets because another employee asks for her help with the cash register. and she says

her: I'll be right back i need to take care of something!

it ends up taking a shit long time so i just eject and yell thank you.

INBETWEEN SETS

i see this sexy hb 8 on the other side of the escalator as me she eyes me, i eye her. I dont look away. she looks away. hair flips and scratches the back of her neck.

also i go into a sporting store. i spot an hb8 blonde wearing an asu pitchfork shirt. my aa kicks in though as i'm awful with moving sets.

(I should have opened with)

hey go devils! (since i was wearing an asu hat)
or atleast Hey do you know where the bathroom is or hey do you know where the bestbuy is?

SET #2-3

I walk into a girls store so my aa is already up a little bit. but i tell myself.

fuck it man I don't care about this mall or the people in it; i'm not going to see them again anyway, i'm just another guy in a sea of 7 billion on this planet.

I walk to the back where the dressing room is. I would say there was roughly 4 hbs all 7 and above.

I open

Me: hey excuse me, do you work here? I'm looking for some help finding a gift for a friend.

one hb 7.5 glances at me but she must assume i'm talking to another person. another hb 7 turns around

her: umm i don't know (she looks around) then one comes out and she quickly points to her.

I go up to the employee hb 7

me: hi i'm looking for some help really quick
her: sure
me: i'm looking for a gift for a girlfriend of mine and i need help.
her: what were you thinking like...
me: (i cut her off) i'm looking for accesories
her: like you mean like..
me: (cut her off again) i'm talking about necklaces or braclets. probably bracelets
her: oh well (she brings me over to a section) heres our selection what is she like. is she like girly.
me: well shes definantly not butch haha
her: oh shes a tom boy? (she mishears me)
me: no i meant shes not a tom boy. shes more colorful i suppose as oppose to black and white.
her: hmmm
me: I don't know (i look at her arm to see what she has on) well the watch looks nice but maybe something like this more casual. (i touch her arm pinch a band and tug at it slightly)
her: oh thats a hairband.... hahaha
me: (laughing) oh see thats why i need your help
her: how old is your friend
me: shes turning her 21 so shes going out to the bars. i'm looking for something for her birthday.
her: awwwww so you're not going out with her?
me: oh i am somebody has to take care of her.
her: well you can try these bands

after she is intensley looking for the right thing to find me. i almost feel bad for the effort shes putting in for something i'm not going to buy. i finally go up and say.

me: hey i'm going to just look around myself i have plenty of time so i might come back later. excellent customer service though
her: awww thank you

Set #4

I walk into a sunglasses hut. again i get ambushed by an hb hired gun. although she was smoking hot. I'd give her an 8.5

her: hey hows it going (wide smile)
me: me oh just looking around
her: can i help you with anything
me: hmm well do you have any raybands?
her: sure what (brings me over to a section) so what style are you looking for
me: I'm just going to warn you i'm one of those window shoppers; i'll talk to an employee for 20 minutes and leave the shop (with a smile)
her: (laughs) oh thats perfectly fine even if you find something you like i can write down the product number for you on a card!
me: sick; well there was another pair of raybands my friend had i'm just wondering if this store has them they are kinda white with a goldish shine on the lens.
her: hmm well idk
her: (goes through a bunch of different glasses with me)
her: oh i like how these look on guys.
me: ya they look pretty sick.
me: the only thing about raybands is i lose them all of the time. i feel like with such an expensive pair of sunglasses i would be too irresponsible.
her: i know what you mean but do you ever really lose anything you care about alot. like how often have you lost your phone.
me: haha never really but i've lost a couple debit cards and one wallet.
her: (not sure really what she says but she gave me lots of information in random directions) well i just know that i'm a college girl so i'm out all the time with my sunglasses. one time i was in rocky piont
me:(when i think she is finished talking but not really) oh you go to college where?
her:( keeps going and doesn't hear what i said) and my dad lost his sunglasses. I went out and bought him a new pair of $20 glasses and he loved them!
me: you know i still feel like i would be too irresponsible. It's the same way i woud feel about having a pet at this stage. ( im trying to transition)
her: says something else about the raybands. ( this girl is awful at listening to others)

customers walks in she greets them

Me: i'll let you get to the new customers and i'll just look around.

set done.

I was starting to get AA and just left the mall though because i felt i was lingering too long. I did not want to start being recognized by workers as unlikeley as it was but as i see it. You probably don't want to double tap a store and definantly don't triple tap it. If I'm there for more than an hour then i should just eject and go back again another time.

on my way out spot a group of what i assume to be highschool girls. I make a glance at them as they are taking pictures. when i walk past them i hear them whistle hahaha.

perhaps I'm the real prize here which I often don't think about. I'm not model status, i'm only 5"7.5' rounding to i guess 5"8'. but I do go to the gym often. I have a muscular frame. not six packs but somewhat lean because of the cardio i do offput by my college drinking haha. i wear a snap back hat with an asu logo, light material vneck, and slim jeans with slight shadow of facial hair. I walk around with my shoulders back, chest out, at a slow pace. my only issue is my eyes get too intense sometimes, perhaps they are dry but i end up glaring at things when i don't mean too. I'm sure it can be super intimidating which gives me aa the most about my body language in concern with moving sets that lock eyes with me. Other then that I always feel and look alpha from body language to outfit. I'm sure I intimidate a lot of girls (in a good way) and don't even realize it.

END REPORT

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: almost back to where i was when i started with my wing, all the interactions went well. i did not bitch out as much when i would lock eyes with girls. my conversations were more smooth and confident.

PROBLEMS: same opener. all my sets ended up with hired guns so it was too safe. I need to start opening moving targets and still need to kill my aa.

GOALS: while i'm happy with what i accomplished today. next time i'm going to make an effort to open moving hbs with ( do you know where the x is)?

open non employees with gift opener (if i don't get ambushed by the employee)

try 1 different opener

say good morning or afternoon to 10 people hbs and non hbs

I have now been to 3 different malls with decent amounts of sets. i know of 2 more maybe i'll make it a routine

Scottsdale mall (hottest hbs literally at every corner. my age range though. but also very intimidating)
Mesa fiesta Mall (more relaxed community college and non college girls)
Chandler Mall( similar to mesa but slightly hotter sets and slightly more classy also may run into people i know possibly)
Arizona Mills (kind of ghetto but might as well check it out)
Tempe Market Place (where my college goes. probably has good sets but have to be careful)

Perhaps hit each of them each week so theres a nice rotation of me not going into the same place everytime. and when i hit the mall only hit each store once then out so i don't have the linger effect. i might hit scottsdale or mesa 2 times a week though.


uggg this aa is the worst thing ever. If i could just cut out the part of my brain that gives me the emotion of fear I would feel unstoppable. stop being a bitch self.

the biggest problem i feel is I have not experienced extremes. I have not experienced being blown out, but on the other hand I have not experienced overwhelming success. so I'm still very afraid to jump in this pool of cold water that we call day sarging.

_________________
there is no turning back. there is only winning

SIDE TANGENT JOURNAL

went to the gym this evening around 7. good lord so many 8s and 9s concentrated in one area. walked by a zumba class literally could spot 10 hot girls just at a glance. and i'm talking asu college hot. beating any of the sets i had previously opened which i probably gave a generous rating in comparison to the average girl that goes to ASU and this gym.

Made the horrible mistake of wearing clothes that were not sweat resistant at all. I always go hard during my workouts so this combination made me literally drenched to wear my whole attire was a different shade of color. could not have been a more horrible thing to happen given the circumstances.

my whole workout centers in the stretching/calistenics section with the ab balls and mats and what not. and like i said when i rate these hbs i would give them atleast 1 point above all the other girls i've been sarging at malls.

hb asian 8 starts her workout right in front of me. glances at me a couple times. meet eyes briefly

hb tan white girl 8.5 does ab workout on mat aways to my side

hb 9 amazing boobs, incredibly tan white girl. goes to grab a mat. we almost walk into each other and we both give courtesy apologies for normal people that run into each other accidently

2 hb 8.5s workout right in front of the mirror. when they see me looking at the mirror (possibly believing im staring at them). they do the hair flip thing, become more loud and obnoxious with each other, and i can't put my finger on it but i'm sure they were subtley trying to grab my attention.

maybe i'm driving myself insane but i always struggle to believe if these signs are for real or if i'm just noticing something they do on the reg. curse my sweat, i know it's an excuse but damn i probably smelled bad.

next time i'll perhaps make an effort to say hi or good afternoon just to open up (i'll probably see them on the reg if i signup membership there anyway) or ask about various ab workouts you can use with the ball and such.

the gym could probably get me laid more than anything but my weakness is i go so hard that i often become unapproachable and unapproaching because of my depleted energy

_________________
there is no turning back. there is only winning