Also, why would she flake on her own plans 2 weeks in a row like that? Same story this weekend, I was supposed to go to her new place when she got it on Saturday, but she texted me and told me she wont get her place until next weekend. I told her we could still hang out and that was wednesday night and I have yet to receive another text from her since. Thats what makes me think its an intentional game. She gets me to commit to a plan, cancels it and then doesnt talk to me for a day or two. It seems like something to build interest in her.

If she reply's; YOUR ARE BUSY!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Yeah, I have determined to ignore her for a few days, but the real test for me will come if she texts me this weekend.

At that point, say something like: "Maybe you cam make it up to me"

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Another problem I'm having is breaking the spell. Its hard for me to look at other girls, because this is the first girl in my life that has totally met all my standards, that has actually shown an interest in me. In theory I'm open to dating other girls, but I have never been able to get girls that meet my standards, so I know it wont be easy at all to date other girls. I have tried with girls below my standards, but I become a jerk to girls I dont like if they seem like they're into me.

Just "open" more girls, every chance you get! it will boost your ego X4. And one of those girls, COULD be the next, HER!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

If I were you I would make my primary goal right now losing weight, this girl that you are developing onitis for is low interest for you,

but you still might be able to sleep with her if you escalate, but judging by the way she is treating you, you are simply one of her options, or she would be showing more interest and giving you more compliance

I know it is easy for me to say, just go get other girls and keep this one around too, but realistically it is a good idea as this is not your ideal situation, and that is what you want to strive for, your ideal situation,

if you got fit, you would be presented with alot more favorable options that ''meet all your standards'', as you have not had sex with this girl, she is really not a closed case as of yet, and all this flaking and non-responsiveness is a good sign she is low-interest,

but when she meets up with you, that is your chance to escalate, if she won't let you escalate then she is not interested in sex with you, I know it is tough to face your ego and see, but you have to, not trying will get you the same results as trying and failing, the longer you put it off, the more it solidifies the frame of a non-sexual relationship between the two of you, again.. she will not escalate for you

just because she is the only girl you deem physically attractive enough that has shown interest in you, you shouldn't cut yourself off from all other avenues of dating, you could end up wasting months of time on her to end up her personal chauffeur and best friend, with no sex to show for it, and the less she makes herself available for you, the more it is a sign for you to find other things besides her to consume your life with, I suggest the gym for you

If you're not closing it - try to. If you can't end it.

It's a girl - not the Mona Lisa. There are pletny others. It's just the 'first' and that stings - you'll always remember her, no doubt.... but YOU determine HOW you remember her...

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

The advice has been awesome, guys! Also, weight loss has been my primary focus for months, the fact that this girl basically just landed at my feet is the only reason I am even really dating at all right now.

All the advice has helped a lot, though, because I now know that if I do get the chance to hang out with her again, I HAVE to escalate things or shes gone. No doubt about it. I just wish I had found this place last week so I could have had the mindset that I have now when she came over my house... in my mind, every time I went to escalate I chickened out and told myself I have more time with her, dont blow it by scaring her off now, etc... Im over that now. If I try and she rejects me then I had nothing to begin with so I need to try it out and see what I have on my hands.[/quote]

Gotta be honest, still no physical contact... but that's OK. We have discussed it and due to some stuff from her past she likes to take that part slow. Despite no physical contact, we are well on track to an amazing relationship. We text every day and talk on the phone almost every single day. I spent about 2 straight weeks sleeping over her place and stay there every weekend. I have stuff that I have left at her place(clothes, deodorant, toothbrush, etc), we make plans for the future constantly. I just met her mom last night, who is in town to visit. She also recently told me that had she not met me she would have moved back home by now.

I'm probably the happiest I have been in my life, I know everybody says this when they're starting something new, but me and this girl may as well be the same person sometimes we have so much in common. What makes it nice though is that we do have enough differences to keep things interesting.

It's almost weird looking back at how unsure I was about this, because now we couldn't really be closer. Any free time either of us has, we spend together. Anyway, just wanted to post a small update since I bothered you guys for advice when I needed it.

the second part may be true the first part of that sentence is self-deluding nonsense, stop rationalizing, it isn't working and it hurts your game.

I'm not saying shes the first girl to ever meet all my standards, the point is she's the first one I have come across that has shown an interest in me. Maybe I'm missing your point, though?

My point is you have some serious self limiting beliefs and ridiculous rationalizations that are killing your success. So the bad news is that your biggest problem has nothing to do with your question, and you know this, but you have to have the courage to admit it and then get busy doing what you need to do to become an attractive person.

You are young enough to make a success out of your dating life, dont miss this opportunity to squander it based on some fucked up pathology. Obviously if you are super fat, overly selective, highly moral, seeking your soulmate, mr. nice guy, and impose a shit-ton of other self-imposed barriers then when you fail its not really your fault right? Are you starting to get my point?

As far as THIS ONE GIRL goes, it is completely irrelevant in the long run, you have much much bigger fish to fry.

I don't know, I kinda disagree. This has opened my eyes to my value so I'm over a lot of those issues. Plus, I'm really not that huge anymore, I'm down to 238 as of today when I weighed myself. Not exactly skinny, but not really that huge either.

Either way, whatever issues I do or don't have, I have done enough to have a deep connection with this girl and we are on the path to something special right now if things stay the course.

Update: She's into me. We became official last week, case closed.