Hey guys, this is my first post - hope it makes things clear. Please, please, please chime in and let me know what you think / advice / etc.

So, I met this girl maybe 6 weeks ago and we really hit off. I took her out to lunch within 10 minutes of meeting her. We followed up with regular texts and the occasional phone call, but not as many. We went out that same weekend and had great convo and made out after. We kept this up pretty much once a week.

Fast forward to this past weekend. We talked Friday and I told her I would be out with friends at spot X and she was welcome to come. She said she may come out and to let her know when we got there. Well, we ended up going somewhere else to get started and spent longer than we meant to at our other spot. Apparently, she had gotten dressed up really hot and went to find me at spot x. I texted her and told her where were and she came that way, but her phone died and we didn't meet up.

Next day we hung out and laughed about the story and had a great time hanging out in a park. I've gotten the impression that this girl is pretty traditional and straight-forward about her intentions wanting to take it slow and looking for an LTR- she was really sucking me in.

That night she told me to come out to some club and I got a really late start. She had written me while I was getting ready, asking if I was asleep. I got it thirty minutes later and told her I was ready to go. She said that she was at the spot X, instead of the originally planned spot. I laughed and told her I was on my way. As soon as I arrived, I found her at the bar flirting with the bouncer and came to find out he was flirting with her the night before as well. She was tipsy and volunteered that "he was harrassing her" with a laugh. I thought nothing of it and we had a good time. Well, I felt some strange mojo that night. She told me jokingly to give her a break and go to the bathroom - I did, cuz i had to go anyway - odd. Then later I saw the bouncer out of my peripheral vision behind us and thought I noticed her kinda motion to him. Then she reached out behind me and, I thought gave him a fist bump, at the time. But later that night I think she gave him her number.

We went to another bar after closing and had a blast! Really fun time. But right in (I was behind) front of me she opened her phone and I saw that she was texting him. He asked if she was going to hang out with me all night and right in front of me (she was tying to be sneaky tho) and said "Looks like it". My heart absolutely sank. I was crushed. Almost any other answer and it wouldnt have been a big deal - "Yes.", "You bet!", "Of course!", and I would have felt secure, but "Looks like it" sounded like she was downright dissapointed, which of course was in complete contrast to the awesome time we were having or so I thought.

Well, I was drunk and upset, but vented my anger on a friend. Later I confronted her in the car about the whole thing and kind of led her to where I was going. I was calm and non-accussatory, imo. I started with "Man, lots of guys keep hitting on you tonight, blah blah blah, but you told me you would never give guys at bars and clubs your number right? Lol" She kept pretending not to know what I was talking about and either lying or not being open. Once I told her what I saw, she acted offended, then gradually started to get sad and crying. I kept telling her that I wasn't her boyfriend, so she can do whatever she wants, but it was just the magnitude of her disrepect that irked me. I said just try to do a better job of NOT ramming it in my face. The other thing was that I felt like that she wasn't the girl she had made herself out to be - I didn't really say this outright, just kind of skirted the edges.

She cried and cried for an hour or more and we talked and she said she really liked me, but didn't think I cared about her because of the way I acted, but once I told her the reason behind this, she REALLY started crying. She said that she didn't realize that I really, did indeed like her. It was pretty genuine, but she was also wasted. She seemed really glad that I brought this to her, but I'm still not sure it was a good idea. Later, we got much more intimate than ever before - her walls had come down.

I went home and tried to sleep, but I was extremely upset. My stomach was in knots for 2 days straight, I had bad dreams about her texting him, and I felt a lot of anger, resentment and am still not sure I could ever trust her again, especially if I wanted to be her bf.

She wrote me the next morning, which she often does, but this time she repeated the same Good Morning blah blah blah 4 times, which I took as an extra level of playfulness to indicate some form of feeling guilty. I was still angry and just froze her out for about 5 hours (waaaay longer than normal) and then replied to her 4 messages with 4 identical replies as a joke, but that's all the contact we have had in the 24 hours following.

So, I'm not sure where I stand here. Did I do the right thing in confronting her? It seemed right last night and in line with my principles (I had even mentioned to her that night that I had standards that I expected in terms of a basic amount of respect), but I'm just not sure. Also, I just feel so betrayed. It was so base and sneaky, that I'm not even sure what kind of person that I'm dealing with any more. I am just amazed that the girl I thought I knew would literally pass this random guy her number BEHIND me and text this guy right in front of me (he's got serious game) with just a passing attempt at being covert about it. She is 28 after all, not 18 - it's almost as though she wanted to be caught. All I know now is that the product in the bottle is not as advertised. I'm not sure I could ever fully trust her and I'm not even sure I can be the same fun guy I was around her before, but I'll try. I really like her and don't mind her dating around, as I am doing the same, but again it's the lack of honesty, sneakiness and overall disregard for me that just blows me away. Am I just her LTR and she is going to screw around at every chance possible, in the meantime?

I'd really like to for us to continue down the road we were on, but I'm not sure that road even exists now.

Looking back on the situation, she said she went back to spot X that night because there was some guy at the original spot that always bothered her (or some lame excuse), but it seems fairly obvious that once she thought I wasn't coming out she decided to go back to talk to this guy. I don't even think he asked her for her number - this is just speculation, but based on just my gut instinct of the way things went down - that she just gave it to him.

always confront and check disrespect...

you care too much. Mental Fortitude man. what will be will be. Tighten your attitude up. You can't always control other people but you can control your attitude.

Girls that want you don't do things like this...the obvious should be clear to you she's not attracted enough to achieve the relationship you want maybe she will one day maybe she wont.

I hate to say it...but she has the right to give her number to any guy she wants. You two are not in a monogamous relationship. And also, dude...you've known her for 6 weeks without sleeping with her. That is a longass time, and you probably missed your chance 4.5 weeks ago. So maybe, rather than get mad at her, you should game other girls. There are thousands of women around you right now, find one who's more interested.

Was it a bushleague move for her to do that with you there? Meh, it's debatable. Again, this is not a first date, this is 6 weeks, and the fact that you've yet to make a move put you in the friend zone a while ago.

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These hos ain't loyal

Two posts and this one is answered. Well done Guys!

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

That makes a lot of sense. I am definitely too emotional.

So, that said, what should I do? Just keep being fun and easy-going and just see what happens?

Bounce. If you still have to have her, try to gain compliance. But I don't think it's there.

Start sarging other women. Lesson learned.

RR

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Women are like ceramic tile.... if you do the prep work, and lay them properly the first time...you can walk all over them for years to come.

Hmm, that's fair. It's quite clear I misjudged her interest.

A couple of clarifications - I checked back and it was only 4 weeks, not a huge difference, but I also have to travel all week, every week and was only able to see her once a week or so, so time-investment wise it really wasn't that much. Also, I really don't think I was stuck in friend-zone, but she did start hot and cooled off, mainly because I kissed everything but her lips because I worried about hpv. We talked about it that night and that was why she thought I wasn't that intersted. Once I told her why, she completely understood. Also, I did close the deal that night, so is friend-zone really applicable? Not sure if any of this changes your opinions.

So, what is my next step - gaming other women aside - if I want to continue this or is it just not possible at this point?

what do you want? do you want a relationship? do you want a fbuddy? do you want friendship? do you want a fling? what do you want from her?

A goal helps...

it seems like this post is more about you wanting to feel better about being disrespected than anything

A relationship, if possible.

I didn't mean it to come across that way at all. I genuinely like this girl, am finding myself in a position I'm not used to and honestly just want some solid advice.

Also, I want un-biased eyes to make sure I don't make the same mistakes next time.

Can you give me some examples of what you mean?

Let me just state a quick thing before I give my advice...

You are already too invested for this to possibly turn out into a healthy relationship. The foundation has already been set and it is not a good one. Everything you are building with this girl will come crashing down at this point.. And that is just pure honesty.

Now, what i try to encourage guys to do is leave a few girls at the first sign of things like this, because it communicates something powerful to your subconscious. You are telling yourself that you will meet loads of women in your life and you don't need to stick around for some sneaky snobby girl. This works wonders for you attitude and the way other women will view you in the future.

If you can manage to grow some balls to cut this chick off right now cold turkey and completely move on with your life; i can assure you that you will meet loads of new women in the near future. Now if you want to stick through this and risk a relationship and get hurt, you will be waiting as long as you did to meet a girl you felt this way about again. Make the tough decision now and travel the easy road later or make the weak AFC decision now and feel the pain and agony later..Choice is yours

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The thing is this. When A girl does something shady you can only hold her accountable to the point where she won't just say fuck you and call the bouncer. I really don't like the fact that she did this and you still want her. I wonder if you want her validation or you want her just to make your hurt pride/bruised ego feel better. I also don't like this because I wonder about the message you are sending yourself as far as self-respect and self-esteem by pursuing someone that did this. When you take shit, you tell yourself its okay to take shit and the more you do it it becomes a habit and then you have low self-esteem...

It is crucial that you maintain the moral high ground here. She has to believe she did the wrong thing. This is where alot of guys mess up with arguing with girls. I would want her to tell me she is sorry and that she won't do it again. I would want to hear those words come out of her mouth. "I am sorry and i won't do it again."

If you must talk to her. I would call her. If you were surprised by this you obviously do not know her very well. You need more information. so I would gather information.

How many guys has she dated? Does she date casually? One night stands? How often do guys hit on her? Does she give her number out often? How did she get a relationship with her ex boyfriends? How many partners? What does she want? how does she feel about you? Why did she do that? how would she feel if you did that to her? Whats going through her head? ( I would just talk about these things not in an angry tone, but just deep conversation)

Just like your mom or your dad or your sister or brother. When you know a person well you know how they will handle a situation before they actually do it. Knowledge is Power.